I'M LEARNING TO FLY:

I have been, for some time now, pressing in for a spiritual breakthrough in my life including contending with the Lord for a 'power from on high' experience.

I think I have been quite disappointed in the fact that breakthrough has not yet happened. Frankly it did not make a lot of sense to me as I would see it as perfectly lining up with His will and therefore why would He hold back from answering such a prayer?

However, as it stands today I think I am beginning to gain an understanding that to be able to carry such a weight of responsibility, then the foundations and the belief systems that I hold to must be in right order. It's a little like expecting a Datsun1200 ute to take the load of a 10 ton truck. Just so, unless my belief systems are soundly in place and my issues in life that would prevent me from being all that He would want me to be have been resolved, then the weight of responsibility of being 'powered from on high' would be far too overwhelming and would crush me.

I will try and explain by way of recounting one of the issues that the Lord has been transforming me in by way of renewing my mind:

Perhaps one of the key elements of change of understanding for me has been in the area of my identity. I have never really understood that I am a 'son of god'. Instead I have been living with an orphan in spirit. So what is an orphan spirit?

It is a spirit that does not truly believe that I am the Father's son and that the Father does not desire the very best for His son.

It is originates from Adam and Eve where Eve was deceived by the serpent to believe that God's intentions for her were not for her best interest. Satan said 'did God not say….'? Deception will lead us to believe that God is not good nor does He have the very best in store for us and this is the basis of the orphan spirit.

Although Adam was not deceived as was Eve, he nevertheless chose to sin against God's way and this disobedience broke down that father/son relationship and was instrumental in creating the orphan spirit.

Therefore there are two things that we need to be on guard about as they will inevitably lead us to live under the control of the orphan spirit.

1. Beware of any deception or lie that will lead you to believe that God does not love you or want the best for you ; that God is not inherently good.

2. Any choice or action we take,that will, by its intent and function, suggest that He does not have the best in-store for us; that He is not good; that obedience to Him will not produce the best for us and in us . In other words we know better than God; by making our own choices contrary to God's will and purpose for us.
So how did this apply to me?

Th following is an extract from 'The Shack'. It has been altered and personalised and I think applies to my life…
Perhaps the underlying flaw in my life is that I don't think God is good. If I knew He was good in every circumstance and in every situation; that everything is covered by His goodness – then while I might not always understand what He's doing I would trust Him. Do I? Some days more than others!!
Unfortunately I cannot produce trust just as I cannot produce humility. It either is or it is not. Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved. Because you do not know that God truly loves you, you cannot fully trust Him. So…
What will it take for me to have a heart understanding that He is good; that He truly loves me and that He can be fully trusted??

I have had two experiences over recent days which have broken the lie over my life and have created significant breakthrough and freedom in this area.

The first event was through Sozo ministry which dealt with some of the lies that I believed relating to my conception . It then dealt with some of the wrong belief systems that I had relating to the Father/son relationship resulting from my missed connection with my own dad.

Then a few days ago, as part of the conference we went to, i had a time with the intercession and prayer team and during that time , In the atmosphere of prayer, worship and solitude, I was able to connect with father God.
I had the impression/vision that Jesus took me to the gates of heaven and he showed me, at the entry was a horse trough with a rail to tie to. (as in a western movie.) Jesus then took me into the Father's throne room and I saw the Father beckoning us to come to him . The Father then pointed to the seat on His right for Jesus to sit but in the process, Jesus, with the Father's permission insisted that I sit in that seat. The significance of this is twofold. Firstly, it revealed to me the depth of relationship that exists between me and the Father. Secondly, it identified the fact that my role is to be as Jesus here on earth, bringing heaven to earth.

In addition to this, I gained an understanding of what the relevance was of the horse trough at the entry gate.

That now, I have Freedom; I am no longer tied to the horse rail and drinking from the horse trough; Ii can now drink from the Living water from within my throne room

I felt He said:

You can enjoy the freedom to BE who I made you to be, you don't have to compare. Just be! Just be YOU!
And then the following words came with great clarity and I knew it was the Father.

'Will you let Me have my Way?'
I was not sure what was to come, but I responded without hesitation…
'Yes,Lord!'

So this is one area of personal breakthrough. There are more coming!