I've finished all my blogging of the last couple of weeks and tomorrow we fly home! San Francisco has been amazing and the last 3 months have gone really quickly. We've made some really good friends who'll we'll miss and hopefully see again some day!

This is a compilation of funny little stories and bits and pieces that made us laugh. They probably won't be funny to anyone else but I guess you had to be there! But I thought I should write them down so Steve and I can read them when we're old and grey and have a little chuckle.

Crazies on the street:

• Walking down the street we pass a hugely obese man who has stopped at the window of a diner selling hot-dogs and is longingly looking at the food The man says "Oh wow look at that foot-long!"
  His wife says "Has that got your name on it honey?"
  The man says "HELL YEAH!"

• Homeless guy: "You got any spare change?"
  Passer-by: "Nah, sorry man"
  Homeless guy: "Well sorry don't get me JAAACK SHIIIT!!"

• Walking through Little Italy we pass a pretty, young lady sitting outside a café waiting for her bill, just as a guy starts serenading her with a very loud rendition of 'My Girl'.

  "Preeetty lady! I got sunshiiiine, on a cloudy daaaay!"

  She had nowhere to run and had a total look of despair on her face, poor girl.

Crazies on the bus:

• My favourite one he told me about was the guy who jumped on the bus, spotted a seat and shouted out "That's MY seat! That's MY seat!!" before someone else promptly sat down in it "Oh OK, that's not my seat."
  Undeterred he spots another seat and his next tactic was to say "That's MY seat! That's MY seat!! I've got AIDS!!"which resulted in him getting his seat. Then he starts speaking aloud "I'm gonna go crazy! I'm gonna go crazy if you keep looking at me!!Just before he got off the bus and everyone was really trying not to look at him he shouts "I'm going crazy!!!" and runs off the bus.

English may be a common language but differences lead to misunderstandings:

Steve talking to his friend Jon at work:

Jon: "Ah so you've been shopping, what did you buy?"
Steve: "Trainers"
Jon: "What?"
Steve: "You know, trainers"
Jon: "What?"
Steve: "Sneakers"
Jon "Ah right, yeah trainers are people who train you over here"
Steve: "Yeah and back home sneakers are what we call people who sneak around"

In Sports Basement the oriental-looking cashier asked us where we were from and when we said England he said that earlier a mother and daughter from England had been teaching him English. Steve was really impressed as his English was perfect and told him so, but it turned out they had been teaching him English words! For example when he said they could take the elevator up to the next floor they told him it was the lift.

People always say the American accent makes them sound like they're always asking a question, when they're actually making a statement. We had an experience of this when we were in the lift and Steve was carrying the inflatable bed to take it back to Sports Basement for the second time. A guy was in the lift and he said "Going camping?" and we said no, then he said "I wanna go camping, I like camping". I said it was too cold and Steve said "Depends where you go". Then the guy said "What kind of gear you got?" and me and Steve thought he must be deaf or something and explained again we weren't camping, but the guy actually meant 'it depends what kind of gear you got'.

Weird pronunciations etc:

Moussaka = Moose-ika
Pecan = Pee-caarn
French Toast = according to Alton Brown's researchers 'Poor Knights of Windsor' or as we call it Eggy Bread!!

Steve's Aussie/Kiwi/South African accent leads to misunderstandings:

Steve: "Do you have a pin I can borrow?"
Star: "I have a ballpoint pen somewhere you can use"
Steve: "No, I mean a PIN, or anything sharp and pointy"

TOP TIPS:

Public Transport

The main transport system in SF is called the MUNI, which includes the bus, streetcars/trams and the subway. All trips cost $1.50 and you must have the exact change because when you get on the bus for example, you simply put your coins or dollar notes into the machine where the driver sits and when the machine calculates that you've paid the $1.50 then the driver will give you a ticket. This ticket is called a transfer and if you want to get on another bus within 90 minutes then you just show the driver your transfer, so effectively you're getting two trips for the price of one!

STUFF YOU'LL MISS FROM THE UK:

Heinz Baked Beans
Heinz Salad Cream
Cadburys chocolates - Boosts, Lion Bars etc.
Aerosol deodorant - they only seem to sell roll-ons which is annoying as I don't like using them! Also, in Walgreens the soaps/bodywash are kept locked up, probably because they don't want the homeless stealing them so they can have a bath in the local fountain.

The Great Debate over British Cuisine:

We were talking to one of Steve's work friends about what we've been having for breakfast.

Steve: "We've been making toasted bagels with bacon and pepper jack cheese and ketchup"
Manny: "Ketchup?! With bacon?!"
Steve: "Yeah you've gotta have ketchup"
Manny: "No way, that's just wrong!"
Me: "What! No! You've gotta have ketchup on bacon sarnies!"
Manny (pointing at Steve): "NO!" (then pointing at me): "NO!"
Me: "What do you put on bacon then?"
Manny: "Just a little bit of mustard"
Me: "Pah!"