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So I'm starting off a bit backwards with this one, but just go with it. So I had my Renaissance, Revolution, Reformation: Literature 1580-1700 class today...which I will refer to as my Brit Lit. Once again, it is a full year module (class) and everyone besides Carson, Nikki, and I know what is going on so far. I knew that earlier they had read Measure for Measure which if my favorite Shakespeare play. I was a little disappointed that I would not get to include my insights learned from the wonderful Stacy Erickson's class, but I will be able to refer to it if necessary. Well, one of the first things the tutor says is she is in the works of taking the class to Stratford to see Measure for Measure!!!! Umm... YES PLEASE! I had been planning to do that anyways, but what an advantage to be taken there instead of finding my own way! I just hope it doesn't clash with a BCA trip =/
Well that excitement died down when we were lectured at for an hour about The Changeling. Now, all of you are wondering that that is. So was I. The lecture helped, but I wish I was able to reference what she was saying to the play, you know, the one I never heard of. After an hour, we broke off into groups for discussion questions....well cool because the Americans were useless. Or so we thought! We kinda jumped right in with some good ideas. I impressed myself. I know Stace would have been proud. So it won't be a terrible class, it's just a matter of getting the book, ugh.
So let's back track. I had to walk to campus alone (no, I didn't get lost!) Ironically, I slowed down and just walked for bit. I usually have this lightning quick pace that puts speed walkers to shame. Near the beginning of the walk is a beautiful park. And that's where I got into this deep thinking. Most of the time people throw around different descriptive words. Beautiful. Awesome. Amazing. I'll be honest, I do it as well. But this park, that is beauty. It's pure in the sense that no one planned for it to be that way. It just is. It's natural. Beautiful is not trying to be that way. Just being. And I could have gone on and on with that.
Then all the connectors in my head got a going and I was thinking about how this is such an unknown place to me. And as some of you know, I'm scared of the unknown and others are as well. And I think it's all within good reason. The unknown is just that and all we can do is speculate as to how it will turn out. We can plan out scenarios in our mind but let's be honest, when do those ever come true? All we do is wish hopefully that it goes as planned. Then I had an "aha" moment. Consider this: at one point, everything was an unknown. Sometimes we don't even know it's a unknown to us. (You follow that? =] ) But seriously! Look at where it's gotten you. I attend Manchester College and that was a huge unknown. I lived in Indy last summer and I didn't know a thing about the job I was doing. We've all had them. Maybe they aren't as defining or scary, but they are there. You woke up today with probably a rough outline of how the day was going to go but I'm sure there are plenty of things that happened that you we not prepared for. But look at you! You made it through! Sometimes unknowns are scary, sometimes you hold back. Just do it anyways. And I know it's all a mess, but it's a beautiful one.
The only thing certain is uncertainty. The only thing that remains constant is change. And unfortunately (or fortunately?) they go together. But out of uncertainly comes excitement and adventures. Out of change comes a second chance. So let's start embracing it! I know it's scary and I know we all fear being wrong or not good enough or having something end. But I can't, and don't want, to imagine a life wasted because someone was too afraid of not knowing. That has to be the worst kind of regret. Inaction is the worst action to take. I don't want to be someone that let's fear control my life. I will not be the person that holds back because it's too hard to tell what will happen. Wonderful things come from the unknown.
One more step in the right direction.
I think when it gets nicer out, I might just sit in the park and write. =]
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