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For him to tell me he doesn't even know if he likes this other girl and is only hanging out with her because she likes him, hasn't hurt him, and is in the same country almost makes me feel bad for her. Almost. And then for him to tell me that he's not trying with anyone else while I'm gone and then finding out he's been hanging out with her while we've been skyping everyday...who's the one lying now? But I'm the "bad person" as he calls me. Cool right?
I'm across a giant ocean. Why in the world am I letting something so small as a boy who does not see how absolutely amazing I am ruin my time? Well he's not anymore. Yeah, this is selfish but this trip is about me, not him. Sure, the original purpose was to run away from my problems but I should have known that's impossible. Now, this trip is about having the best experience possible. Studying the world, understanding my life, and getting a broader education. And while I'm pretty scared for life without him, I'm also extremely hopeful that it can only get better from here. If I give that much effort to someone who doesn't want me, imagine how amazing it will be when I put that towards someone that does. As for now, it's all Kelsey Barta time. Focusing on me and getting my life back together. You know, I almost feel bad for him. Because one day he'll get it. One day he'll realize that even though I screwed up first, he screwed up and didn't even try.
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