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The Simple Life
WEEK ONE:
It was the Melbourne Cup on the Tuesday (like the Grand National gone OTT) and we had planned a big session. However Lyndsay got a call in the morning about a job and had to start there and then so Lynne was left to fly the flag without her - such a struggle! She hooked up with the boys in the T Gardens and had a good afternoon and Linz joined them for a couple after work that evening.
Somehow we ended up in the pub again after work on the Wednesday - it was a bad idea moving to Bondi - but we only had a few cheeky ciders and weren't too late home to bed. Liam appeared in the pub after his weekend in Melbourne and unfortunately Lynnith came to the realisation that she was fighting a losing battle and the relationship was never going to be resumed. Time to give up wee yin!
Luckily we had a quiet Thursday, as the Friday was to turn out to be massive madness! Lyndsay met Graeme in the City after work and bumped into a few buddies from ING at the City Hotel where they were handing out free drinks vouchers (fools!). We worked out a system of going out one door and back in the other past the gals handing out the vouchers and this kept us stocked in free vodka for hours! Lynne getting well bored and peed off at home jumped in a cab to the city and played the catch up game very well! We met up with a few of G's Scouser mates and headed to a bar that should have been shut down for defacing people's ears! The music was tragic and Lynne and Linz sloped off leaving the boys shaking their tushes to the likes of "Oh what a night!" Yes, Graeme you were cutting up that dance floor with your 70's moves - smooth mate, smooth!
We jumped in a cab back to Bondi and found ourselves in the C & B in our usual state! Actually if we're being honest this was probably the worst state that we've been in in there! See it's all that mad Scottish lad's fault - never trust the Scots! We had a total scream - not sure if anyone else saw it like that - and would love to fill you in on details but for some reason neither of us can remember hahhahahahahhahaha! We do however remember thinking that it'd be a great idea for a party and before we knew it we had about a dozen people over, with the tunes blaring and the vodka flowing. We didn't need to worry bout waking the 'bairns' as we found them passed out on the hall carpet when we got in - ah to be 18 again! What are you all laughing at????????????
Lynne was not feeling sociable by 4am and sneaked off to bed and by the time Linz noticed she was gone she was dead to the world and couldn't be wakened, so she had to play hostess till 10am the next day when everyone eventually left to go BACK TO THE PUB! See we're not as bad as some others, mothers! It took some stamping off feet for them not to drag Lyndsay along for the ride!
The Saturday we were a little under the weather so spent the day watching Friend's DVD and sleeping - an early night was in store!
Planning to have a day on the beach on the Sunday we were disappointed to find the weather changeable so we headed off for a spot of lunch and a drink of vino. On the route back home we got dragged (not really screaming) into the Royal Hotel and another afternoon was spent singing and drinking with the Irish. It wasn't a late night as we were still paying the price from such a heavy night on the Friday!
WEEK TWO:
Had a very quiet one trying to save some pennies!
Thursday night arrived though and we were dragged to the c*** & Bull with Graeme. Lynne only stayed for one drink though she wasn't in the mood after a huge argument on the phone with Liam earlier! Linz however had the pleasure of meeting a John look-alike called Sean and didn't stumble home to bed till closing. Seeing as John had been his usual elusive self it was nice to perv over a guy who looked just like him hahahhahaah. They smiled at each other and exchanged names but that was about it. Linz was getting flung about the dance floor all night by Graeme and the lads anyway!!!
Friday Lynne had a quiet night in with the bairns whilst Lyndsay was off out on a date with Owen, a guy she'd met in the C&B the week before. If there was ever an advert for why "you shouldn't give out your number to men in bars if you're too drunk to remember what they look like", then this was it! Linz was nearly crying by the time she reached the smiley face standing outside the bar realising that not only should she not have arranged this date but that she was never touching Vodka again hahahhahaah! 5 vodka's later and she was having a good time! The guy was actually a really lovely bloke and they got on but he definitely didn't stand a chance especially when John started texting her during the date to see if she wanted to go over to his once he came off the night-shift? The boy has impeccable timing. Pretty tipsy by the end of the date and after Owen very chivalrously put her in a cab, Linz felt it would be a good idea just to head straight to Johns rather than going home to Bondi for a couple of hours.
Never mind the fact that she'd never been to John's flat before, met any of his flat mates, she was drunk, it was 5am and John wasn't even home from his night shift yet - Linz mustered on regardless. Someone eventually answered the door after she lent on the buzzer until they did! Telling her it'd be safer to wait for John on the sofa (he shared a room!) Linz eventually passed out and it was one tres embarrassed wee Scots lass that awoke later, face down on the sofa to the sound of about 4 male Irish accents!!! Praying that one of them wasn't John's and she could deny the whole incident she peered over the top of the sofa to a chorus of "Good Morning! How'd you like your eggs?!?!?" It was at this point that she noticed John, fresh home form work smirking at her from the other sofa whilst he casually smoked a cigarette. Ground-open-please-swallow. Make a well known sentence!!! Luckily he seen the funny side of things and they had a nice morning and afternoon together.
Saturday Lynne ventured down to the beach but was hardly there 15 mins when she decided it was a bit too overcast and opted instead to meet Linz at Bondi Junction fresh home from seeing John, for a spot of lunch. Of course we had to venture into the T Gardens for a few ciders to see who was about!!!!! We did only have 2 though before going home to get ready for Paul's birthday party at his pad on Bondi Road that evening. The party was good enough but hardly knowing anyone we did feel a bit like spare parts and were home at a very reasonable hour. Good decision as we opened the door to the Police on our way out! I think the noise was a bit too much for the Aussies - good decision gals!
Sunday the sun was shining and we were up bright and early. We headed to Bondi Markets for a spot of "window" shopping then hit the beach for the afternoon with the bairns. As usual though, all good intentions flew out the window when we bumped into a very inebriated Mark outside The Royal. We were up the road showered changed and back out within half an hour (amazing what the inspiration of booze and boys can do for us!) We weren't out for long had a few in the Royal then a few in the T Gardens but Lynne did manage to exchange numbers with a cute English guy Lloyd whilst Linz spent the evening as usual telling Mark it didn't matter how sorry he was - never gonna happen!!!
WEEK THREE:
Monday night we headed out to the c*** & Bull to meet Lloyd and his Irish mate Peter. Poor Lloyd didn't get a word in edgewise and was left a bit puzzled at the end of the night when Lynne made a sharp exit without a proper goodbye. He was a nice looking lad but Lynnith did get the vibe he was just a bit too young!!!
Wednesday brought the bad news that Lynne's Gran had died back in Scotland. She took a half day from work and was pampered and comforted by gay Mark at his new flat in Darlinghurst.
Thursday we went to the T Gardens after work for a few. As Lynne headed home to speak to the family Lyndsay ventured over to the c*** & Bull. Having seen Mickey (remember the 1st of Liam's mates we met) in there Linz got a taste of her own medicine when he brushed off her apologies and she was harangued by his mate Elton (yes, Elton) to give him Lynne's phone number as he was in love hahahhahaah! No but no but no but no! Linz did however bump into the John look-alike again and they exchanged numbers and got very drunk together at the bar! I'm not sure which one of us was the worst for wear by the time we were kicked out the pub!
Funnily enough on Friday Lyndsay didn't quite make work and spent the day on the beach recovering instead (great hangover cure!) We had a quiet night in that evening with Marty, one of the boys we'd befriended from our house party.
Saturday saw the return of Oor Al from his travels on Thailand and he came over to visit us when we got back from lunch at Bondi and a few drinks at the Beach Road Hotel. Lynne again opted for a quiet evening in whilst Lyndsay headed off to Kink with Marty, Cissi and Marty's mate Chambers. It was the usual rounds of drinking, dancing, loving ourselves, drinking some more and it seemed such a good idea to head to the Courthouse after. Leaving there at some ungodly hour on the Sunday morning you'd have though somebody would've had the sense to say "home", but oh no, not when you're with the Irish! So on to T2 it was! It was a sorry shower of revellers that fell into the T Gardens at about 1pm that day. Having had an early night it was a refreshed and wide awake Lynne that turned up to meet us (I think it was more to laugh at us!) Taking one look at Linz, Lynne ordered her home, telling her not to talk to strangers on the way and she settled in for a few rounds with the last of the stragglers. A few hours later however, Lynne as gullible as ever left the T Gardens and headed off for some lunch with Liam! They ended up just getting a takeaway and going back to his. Definitely not one of her better ideas as another argument ensued and a very peed off Lynnith stomped home deleting Liam's number and vowing THAT WAS IT! (Ahem...)
WEEK FOUR:
A pretty quiet week was had. Paul cut and coloured our hair then Thursday night was upon us. What was supposed to be a few at the c*** & Bull turned into a full on session Lyndsay hooked up with Sean again Lynne pulled some Irish boy called Trigs (who we later found out was only 20!) and we had a wee party back at the flat! Brilliant idea when we were working the next day.
We were very impressed that we managed to drag ourselves to work and survive a whole day. Friday night was a write off though and we were in bed by 9pm.
Saturday brought glorious sunshine so we headed off to Tamarama Beach with Graeme and his flatmates for a BBQ and a few drinks. They all left after the sausage rolls but we stayed till the bitter end finishing our 6 packs of cider! Feeling decidedly classy we sang 80's tunes and danced the whole way up Bondi road (only the busiest street in Oz - good work girls!) There was no point stopping when we got home so with the tunes blaring we danced about on the balcony for a bit before getting ready to go and meet Jamie, an English boy from Lynne's work who was going to Kink with us and his mates that night.
We went to the Slip Inn for a couple and had swallowed a few in Kink before Jamie arrived so the evening is a bit blurry. Lynne def did have reason to be embarrassed returning to work on the Monday hahahhahaah....... You know Oor Lynnith never one to beat around the bush when she fancies someone!
Jamie and his mates turned out to be light weights though and as they headed home to bed we headed to the Courthouse. Good decision the place was heaving with the Irish boys and most notably John (who had been Houdini since the day after the night-shift incident!) Par for the course, after a few hours there we all headed to T2 for more. Leaving a bit worse for wear at 11am with backless dresses, shorts, stilettos etc as our attire we really should have been heading home but the boys were having none of it and we found ourselves in the T Gardens!!!!!! Having caught sight of herself in the pub mirror Lyndsay only stayed for 1 before heading home for the rest of the day with John. Lynne quite happy chatting with Brian, a Tyrone (Northern Ireland) boy stayed an hour or so longer. That wasn't the end of it for her though - pestered the whole day on the phone by Lloyd to meet up again she eventually agreed to him coming over for a few drinks and to watch a DVD.
WEEK 4.5:
Monday was spent dying but that still didn't stop us hitting the T Gardens straight from work. Hair of the dog and all that! As usual a few turned into several. Well, people kept buying us drinks we couldn't help it!! Lynne funnily enough spent a lot of her evening chatting to Brian again; she was def beginning to find him quite cute. Absolutely starving we bought a curry on the stagger home and it was well after 11pm when we eventually got to bed.
Tuesday night Lloyd came over again but definitely got the hints that time that it was a "friends" thing only.
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