AUGUST WEEK 1 Fairly usual week and Lynne had a date scheduled with Liam on the Wednesday, so Lyndsay abducted the gay boys (shock) and invited herself along to the peaceful dinner that Mark and Al had planned for themselves! Had a great Thai meal on Crown Street and BYO always makes it all the better. Lynne's date went very well, the fact she arrived home at 6:45am the next morning says it all really hahahaha. Yes, Liam was certainly turning out to be quite the charmer. Earlier text messages to Linz of "so nervous cannae breathe" were quickly changed to "I love him he's soooo nice". Having a quiet start to the week it was only fair that we treated ourselves to the offer of "free Champagne for ladies" (yes, we had to stretch a bit at that!) at The Establishment in the city. We swanked in decked in our working togs and proceeded to get a wee bit tipsy on the gratis plonk! Great idea about the booze, lovely, big bar - shame bout the punters! Total "suits" - you know the kind - all kitted out in the gear and not a decent conversation between them. As you can imagine we had great delight in ripping the proverbial out of most of them! To continue with the theme of our travels we planned a few drinks on the Friday evening. Went home after work for a quick change and then headed to The Slip Inn by Darling Harbour for a few cheeky halves. We moved onto Cargo Bar (another great place full of kn*bs) where we were meeting our mate Cecilia. The wine was going down too well and we decided that as we were in fabulash form it would be a shame to waste it on unappreciative fools. There was only one thing for it - OFF TO THE IRISH BOYS IN BONDI hahhahahahahhahaha. No sooner had we agreed on the idea than we were chasing cabs down the street! Off we skipped to the T Gardens. Feeling no pain by the time we got there we moved on to the vodka - there may be trouble ahead! Cecilia was getting chatted up left, right and centre by guys old enough to have fathered her, Lyndsay was fighting her way out of a corner from a very cute but extremely slimey guy called Patrick 1 (you'll find out why in a mo) and Lynne was chatting to a reasonably respectable few lads - EH? Hhahahhahaha we had the last laugh when we found out they were friends of Liam and she had been chatting away about this great Irish guy she was seeing - MUPPET! We all made a sharp exit to the Beach Road Hotel with one of Liam's mates, Mickey in tow (to try and find the man himself). It was like a scene from the Wizard of Oz - all sing now "we're of to see The Liam, the Wonderful Liam of Bondi'..... Needless to say he was nowhere to be seen and Cissi sloped off with some guy that she had met a few times before. As you read on over the weeks Cecilia becomes known as Houdini for her disappearing acts - she's taken over from the Jamester! After some more alcohol we went to the As*hole of Australia - The c*** & Bull pub, back at Bondi Junction - if it is humanly possible this place makes the T Gardens look like a T Party hahahhahahahah! Things went from bad to worse in there and Lyndsay and Mickey swapped numbers and she thought it'd be a good idea to invite him out to Kink the following evening! He left soon after and we continued to lap up the attention that only being in Bondi Junction can you understand! As we were about to leave (as we had no money and they were about to stop serving us anyway!) Lyndsay was accosted by a young man, Patrick 2 (it's all becoming clear now!). Again numbers were exchanged - jay-sus she should work for BT the amount of times the phone was out - but whilst this was going on Lynne was wandering around looking aimless! Lynne called Lyndsay to see where she was and it was the funniest conversation ever as she was standing right behind her, but being so drunk Lynne was only managing to do half circles! Dying with laughter we stumbled out the door, already knowing that there would be that "oh no, what did we do last night" feeling in the morning! That feeling was very apparent in the morning especially when Mickey text to sort out plans for that evening - oops! Lynne was going with Liam anyway so what was another guest?!?!??!?! We had arranged to meet at about 10 at our house for a few drinks but needless to say the Irish are never too reliable and by half 11 we were pretty p*ssed and pretty p*ssed off! When they eventually turned up in a cab we stormed in and didn't even say a word. We stormed out the cab at the club, leaving them to pay, strolled up to the front to be greeted by hugs by Paul on the door and ushered straight past the crowd with free entry. We dragged the poor lads behind us who were doing their best goldfish impressions and we even heard whispers of "Jay-sus, these are hard women!" Too true busters! Once inside we cat walked down to the main room where we were again ushered into VIP and given new wristbands and by this point we thought we'd made the boys pay enough for being late (well after they bought a couple of rounds!) It was a great night and the DJ's were rocking. We danced our wee butts off and had a good laugh. We left about 5 and everyone went off to the Courthouse on Oxford Street but Lyndsay feeling a bit worse for wear, opted for bed! Lynne, however, decided it was a good idea to tell Liam's best mate Molly (male) and his big brother Alan how much she liked Liam and quiz them on what he'd been saying about her. Ah, bless.....will she ever learn?!?!??!?! The Sunday was all a bit of a blur for Lyndsay and she and Mark lay on the sofa all day eating microwave roast dinners and watching chick flicks whilst Lynne headed off to a football match with Liam - brave girl! It was an interesting day - the football team consisted of all Irish men, the sidelines were full with Irish men, mainly Liam's mates all staring in amazement as he rocked up with a chick in tow. After the match Lynne was dragged to the local pub for a few drinks but noticing her head almost bouncing off the table with lack of sleep Liam took pity and took her home for a Chinese and early night. WEEK 2: Tuesday approached and as Lyndsay nursed a flu type illness (no, not alcohol related for once!) in bed so Lynne headed off to the wonderful establishment of The T Gardens with Liam for his big brother's leaving drinks. Again, she was embarrassed at the start of the evening as she was the only female there but as the drinks flowed and other girls arrived it turned into a pleasant evening. Her smugness was taken to a new level as Liam started referring to her as "his girlfriend" and asking his bro to take photos of her to show his mam! The rest of the week was fairly uneventful, well other than Lyndsay arranging to meet Patrick 2 on the Friday evening, but not really remembering what he looked like hahahaha. Another evening was spent preening, posing and drinking copious amounts of wine before hitting the T Gardens. A few too many vodkas were consumed and too much sh*t chatted to Mickey (again) and another of Liam's mates Mark, who so delicately said that Lynne would "give a Panadol a headache"!!!!!. Patrick 2 was texting to say he was in the c*** & Bull so we stumbled round the corner into the Black Hole! Lyndsay cunningly text Patrick saying she was in the pub and he should come and find her reducing the chance of smiling at the wrong guy! But he was not so stupid and replied "why? Can't you remember what I look like?" Oops, plan foiled! We headed over to the pool table and yes you guessed it Lyndsay did smile at the wrong guy but luckily Patrick saw the funny side and was also tres cute! Result! After a few (more) drinks Lyndsay and Patrick were getting on like a house on fire and Lynnith then decides that as Liam only lives 5 minutes away what he really needs when he's in bed ill is a visit from a very drunken wee Scottish lass. After attempting to bang the door down and almost breaking her knuckles Lynne eventually gave in and staggered back to the c*** & Bull. A bit worse for wear and with it being after midnight entry was refused, nothing to do with falling about in the doorway! Lyndsay being the kind and concerned mate slipped her $20 and sent her on her way hahhahahahahhahaha! Never one to let that ruin her evening Lynne then went home and had a few very drunken phone call conversations with family members. It was a definite "oh no what the hell have I been up to?" feeling when she awoke a few hours later to find herself in bed with her jacket on and her jeans at her knees hahahahaha....... Funnily enough Lyndsay was feeling much the same as she did the walk of shame at 1pm down Crown Street - ah well Lynne had taught her well! Needless to say the day was spent in bed dying and Lynne was a tad relieved to receive a txt from Liam inviting her and Lyndsay to a Dublin v Tyrone Irish football game that night. She hadn't blown it after all.......yet! A few drinks were forced down in the house first with the gay boys, they were having a little soiree for Al's birthday, before heading to Paddy McGuire's in the city to meet the boys. And meet the boys we certainly did, it was wall to wall Irish men in football tops drinking beer and chanting football tunes. Not our usual classy Saturday night out but it was an enjoyable experience - just like a Saturday afternoon in Scotland oot with our brother's hahhahahahahhahaha! Lynne was with Liam so happy days for her and well - Lyndsay was having a heart attack. First of all Patrick 1 was there and proving to be very difficult to avoid, secondly she had suddenly realised how cute Liam's mate Mark was. Normally that would not create a problem but the usually flirtatious Lyndsay was replaced by a mumbling nervous wreck. Lynne was finding it most amusing! It was an interesting evening being picked up and thrown about the bar and generally not having a clue what the game was about, but it ended in a draw so spirits stayed lifted. It was almost 2am when it finished and trying to avoid trouble and citing a headache Lyndsay headed home to bed. Poor Mark thought he was getting her number but in a flash of white and yellow cab she was gone. Lynne was dragged to another bar in the city by Liam to help celebrate Dublin's replay towards the Final. Sunday morning Lyndsay headed off for breakfast with Oor Al while Lynne made do with cheese on toast and Liam's company! Not for long though as his phone was ringing off the hook with his mates looking for a Sunday session. Not quite sure how to amuse ourselves we sloped off to the city, decided to do the Coogee to Bondi walk, then decided to just to do Bronte to Bondi (shorter), then decided not to walk at all and just to have lunch but couldn't find a decent establishment in Bronte, so found ourselves walking past the T Gardens - no but no but no but no! There was nothing for it but to hunt out a Sunday Roast to try and fade the aches that we had going on so we practically crawled to the Porterhouse, met Al, and if the plates had have had patterns we would have cleared them too hahhahahahahhahaha! An early night was called for. WEEK 3: Quiet recuperating Monday and Lynne had a date planned with Liam for the Tuesday. Tuesday approached and Lynne's plans with Liam quickly turned to dust as her texts were ignored!! A very confused and peed off evening was instead spent in the house in Surry Hills. Only for Lynne to later find that said Irish boy was out on a major bender which clearly meant he had lost the use of his fingers to text - poor lad! The Wednesday was Princess Alana's birthday so we went out for a Thai meal on Oxford Street. Big crowd of us and a really good night especially as we had the pleasure of meeting another irish guy Gavan AKA Princess Fagan!! As surprised as you'll be to hear we left the gay boys to party the night away on their own! Ok ok, we couldn't get into Stonewalls cause we has thong sandals on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a sad wee Thursday as it was the Jamester's last day in Oz boo hoo! We went to the PBH in Darling Harbour to have a drink to send him on his way, but as there things tend to happen to us, one bottle of wine turned into several and the three of us were singing our lungs out on the stagger down to the Scottish pub! Lynne was on fine form and must've been spiking her own drinks as she was pole axed compared to the rest of the crew! Very funny! To try and rectify the situation with Lynne, Liam had made the promise of a nice meal on the Friday night which was a good job really as Linz and Al were feeling tired and emotional and wanted a sofa each to recover on! Lynne headed off to County Bondi with promises of a meal and a few drinks. Poor Liam thought he was in for a major b******ing but deciding to give him another chance Lynnith knew she had to forgive and forget. He was made aware of the fact he was in the bad books and not to let it happen again but his constant apologies, attempts to justify his 3 day bender, the $100 spent on a gorgeous meal and wine certainly helped to redeem himself. Oh, and of course there was his Irish charm, even the waitresses were over giggling at the table!!!!! An evening in Bondi would not be complete without a few drinks in the T Gardens. The mentalists were all out in force and it was a nice change for Lynne to be more sober than Liam's mates and not wake up cringing the next day hahaha. Being hassled by drunken friends whilst out with Liam, Lynne finally gave in and gave Lyndsay's number to a not very sober Mark. Imagine Lyndsay's surprise when she was woken to slurred singing down the phone from a random Irishman! Despite his best efforts he was not invited over and was told to call again when sober if he wanted to see her! On the Saturday we dragged ourselves to the Sydney Aquarium. Lyndsay was meant to have a date thing with Patrick 2 but he was @ssing around so she text him and told him to forget it and that she was getting bored - always so delicate with her words! Trying to be sensible on the Saturday evening we went for a drinks party at Ross's house but sensible was taking it a stretch too far. To use Al's words it was "like a wake for Mo Mowlam!" Needless to say Lyndsay, Lynne, Mark and Al got tiddled and livened things up - well only for us hahhahahahahhahaha! Clearly our homing magnets were turned on as we found ourselves in a cab on the way to the Junction after! Finding no-one around we stalked Mark and found they were all (well minus Liam who was having a quiet night) in Cheers bar in the city watching the footy. Not much else for it then.........As if we hadn't had enough we got dragged to the Courthouse after Cheers and it all becomes a bit of a blur! The previous Sunday had been a trauma enough but this was the Sunday to end all Sunday's. Feeling like comfort food again we went back to the Porterhouse but were so ill this time that we had about 4 mouthfuls's of our Roast and had to leave the bar for fear of being sick! We had the sweats and everything - not one of our finer moments! WEEK 4: Not much going on until the Wednesday when Lynne had another date with Liam and Lyndsay went to dinner at Ross's with Gavan and Al. Shocked at actually dragging Liam away from Bondi (and much to his surprise he didn't get a nosebleed) a very pleasant evening was spent in the Clock Hotel in Surry Hills drinking wine and regaining her smugness. Feeling like definite progress was being made Lynne was happy with the mutual "liking each other and not seeing other people" conversations taking place. With the intention of heading home Linz and Gavan left Ross's about 10pm but when they realised Lynne and Limo were in the pub round the corner well it would've rude not to have popped in and said hello! One drink led to a few more until Lyndsay and Gav were putting the world to rights in the Cleveland Hotel at 1am! The love birds were a wee bit more sensible and had headed home earlier. A sad Lynnith said bye to Liam at the train station the next morning as he headed off skiing until the Monday (we know skiing in Oz seems bizarre!). Feeling not too clever, it was an early night on the Thursday as we had planned to have a few drinks after work on the Friday. We headed to Darling Harbour again but much the same as always - good bars, good music, terrible crowd! Linz headed down to Bondi to meet Mark and Lynne joined them for one but it was early to bed for everyone as we had a road trip to Canberra the next day with Al, Mark and Gavan. See Canberra entry..... The Sunday you would've thought would've been low key but who are we to waste a sunny day?!?!?!?!?! Off we trotted to Hugo's Lounge, a very funky bar in Kings X with Gavan and Al! Much cocktails and fun was had by all, though the usual lack of food. So by the time we were hitting Deck Bar on Oxford Street we were famished. Thinking that the deal of a $5 curry was great we munched down on a variety of whatever till our hearts were content. This was to prove to be a very valuable lesson for some! More about that later....... We had another couple in the Deck Bar and then everyone headed off a bit worse for wear and Lyndsay popped over to visit Mark. WEEK 4.5: So back to that $5 curry. Yes it was being seen in reverse by Lyndsay at high speed on Monday morning and Gavan was putting his loo roll in the fridge, if your catching our drift?!?!?!?!? There is a very good reason that it's only $5 (bout 2 quid!). Plus the fact that it sits out over warming plates all day - ok we must stop now as Linz is turning green at the memories! A day in bed for her then! Tuesday, feeling a lot lighter and brighter her and Gavinda decided to celebrate their new found health with a drinky poo whilst Lynne sloped off to the flicks to see Layer Cake wit her Liam! They had a fairly quiet one, as Liam was tired from the skiing but the two drunken bums managed to get plastered and abuse people as usual! Hahhahahahahhahaha! We had arranged to get our hair cut by Paul at his flat in Bondi on the Wednesday night so we headed out there after work for 2 new fabulash cuts!