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Thursday
There are events in life that become indelibly etch on our minds, never to be forgotten, and surface in times of future calamity or humour, and today was one such day!!
The Prologue:
Early breakfast, walk to the station to catch a local 9:12 train to Domodossola, Italy, arriving at 9:38 in time to connect with the scenic special train over and through the Alps to Locarno in Switzerland, departing at 10:25. As this meant crossing the border, it was stressed upon us to take our Passports.
Finally, catch a ferry back to Stresa for the 3 hr cruise down Lago Maggiore.
Act 1:
Breakfast accomplished, tickets and Passports in (Jean's) bag, we set off to the station, a 5 min walk from the hotel, arriving in plenty of time to watch the world of Stresa awaken from its slumber.
It is relevant at this point to mention two previous encounters. The first was an American couple we met when we were at Motterone two days before. The wife was terrified of heights and thus had trouble with the cable car, and even more trouble with the chair lift to the summit, which, with some light hearted encouragement from me, she conquered and enjoyed everything that followed. The second was when we were visiting the Palazzio on Isola Bella and a couple from Balwyn Melb were "commenting" on the grandiosity and complexity of the palace, such that Jean and I made every effort to blend in with the 600 year old marble floors.
So it was with some cringe when sitting at the top of the stairs at the station when I heard "Ivan, you are sooooo good to carry my suitcase to the top, now go and get yours!!!" The words and accent would have cut stone as the echoed through the subway under the platforms.
Anyway, as Ivan struggled past where we were sitting, still gasping for breath after hauling two very large cases up the stairs to the platform, he glanced sideways at me and said "buon giorno" to which I replied in my best Paul Hogan accent "ah.....g'day, 'ows it goin' " by this time she catches up, looking like she got dressed in the dark and in need of a full length mirror, to tell us to go to the best restaurant in Rome that they specifically travelled to each year to have the antipasto and the veal dish. Again in a voice that would shatter glass, she announced that it is near the Portuguese church and that this church is so magnificent that it makes the Vatican look like a Quaker settlement!!! As expected, she asked where we were "from" and seemed relieved that it was Melbourne and not Sydney, making the point that "even people from Brisbane travel to Europe". So narrowing down the search, she established that we lived in Brighton and they lived in Balwyn. She reassured us that even if we came from Brighton, we would probably enjoy the restaurant in Rome, to which I replied " even if it was recommended by a person from Balwyn". Anyway it was all in good humour, Thankfully they were going to Lyon and not on our train so they sauntered off down the platform.
Our train duly arrived and once on board I was told where to sit on the next train etc. I replied that I would not make any comment and simply follow Jean's lead.
End of Act 1.
Act 2:
Arrival in Domodosolo, down the stairs, along a passageway to the next platform to catch the special scenic train to Locarno only to be stalled by a 50 strong tour group of geriatric Germans who were clearly waiting for instructions or permission to get out of the way. Undeterred, and seeing a train at the platform, we pressed through that crowd, Jean in the lead and me following on. When the doors finally opened, the panic rush started, but being the seasoned travellers that we are, Jean found a seat on the right side of the train and we sat down, with about 30 mins to wait until the scheduled 10:25 departure.
No sooner had she sat down, and realising that it was a 2 hr train ride, Jean decided to go to the toilet - on the platform. Handing me the tickets she took off and as I looked across the aisle, there were the two Americans from the cable car episode, so it was old home week.
End of Act 2.
Act 3:
10:05 and the train gave a couple of shudders as if they were connecting another carriage.
10:08 and the train gave another bigger shudder and proceed down the platform and out into the bright sunshine.
10:09. Text to Jean: "So what happens now?"
10:09:05 call to Jean: "where are you now?" "At the top of the stairs, I'm coming back now" "don't hurry because the train has just left"
Sounds of disbelief and panic, not least because I had our two tickets and Jean had our two Passports. As instructed, I was on the train to Switzerland and she was in Italy.
End of Act 3
Act 4:
Jean had gone to the ticket office on the station to ask what time the train left and if she had time to go the toilet. The ticket guy heard he word toilet ( that's all) and said yes, up the stairs to another platform. When she heard my status update, appearing somewhat distressed, she went back to the same guy, explained the tickets/husband/train/passport situation and he said, as Italians do "non problemi, is OK".
It turned out that the train I had been instructed to board was the all stations, slow train to Locarno, departing without any announcements, 15 mins before the scheduled up market scenic high roof windowed number leaving at 10:25 due to arrive in Locarno 1.5 hours before me. So Jean gets on the "right" train and calls me for an update and tells me she will be on the platform in Switzerland with my Passport to bail me out of Swiss immigration detention. She, on the other hand is told that she doesn't need a new ticket, must have been the Italian empathy for a female in distress.
End of Act 4
Act 5
The Americans sitting adjacent to me across the aisle, as is every other English speaking person in the carriage are in shocked disbelief. He is attempting to console me by telling me his wife is always running off to the bathroom minutes before the plane leaves or when they are about to go to breakfast etc. The English guy opposite is telling me how he was bailed up in the street by the Carabinieri with machine guns demanding to see his ID and passport. I am thinking that at least Jean will have an hour of shopping before I arrive and what I am going to write in this blog!!!!
Anyway, about halfway through the anticipated journey, my train arrives at a station in the middle of nowhere but still in Italy, called Re, and the driver comes out of his compartment and calls out " treno finito, una treno, un ora" and gets off the train. Being the only bilingual person in earshot (thanks Sarah) I translate for the stunned passengers that this train is not going anywhere and the next train will be here in 1 hour.
It turned out that most if not all of them were on the wrong train as well, only they probably had their passports ( and their partners) with them.
A quick check of the timetable in the station showed that the train Jean was on was due to stop here in 25 mins time, so all is not lost yet. I called Jean and she is surprised to learn that they are stopping and tells me roughly where she is on the train.
At the appointed time, the scenic train arrived but the doors are not opened. I stand at a door where people are trying to get off, which they finally do but the guard won't let any of my fellow stranded passengers (about 25#) on board. Again, bilingual saves the day and I tell him "mia moglie sue la treno" (my wife is on the train) and undoubtably having heard the saga from her side, was expecting me, so he let me get on and a very funny reunion was effected.
End of Act 5
Act 6
When I sat down opposite Jean in a group of 4 seats (2 x 2) I said to the guy opposite, have you heard the story? He laughed and nodded, the elderly Swiss lady next to me said to Jean, "the lost son?" And we both couldn't stop laughing about it all the way to Locarno.
The Epilogue
Jean was never asked for her ticket and there was no Passport checks when we crossed the border into Switzerland.
My fellow travellers on the "wrong" train were not allowed on board and waited another hour for a train to take them.
We caught up with the American couple and my fellow train travellers on the ferry trip back to Stresa and relived it all over again.
I have earnt a massive amount of credit points when it comes to last minute dashes to the loo and the whole episode will be the subject of much laughter around the dinner table for a long time to come.
Doubtless a story that is up there with the fountain in KL.
ciao
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