A Real Test! I literally did not sleep a wink lastnight and I am convinced it was once again because of the cacao. I laid awake thinking of many things lastnight and around midnight I was overcome by hunger and thirst - signaling maybe my diet is not as good as I thought it was. I thought a lot about the upcoming retreat in Mexico and if its really what I should be doing? My crazy mind got the better of me and when sunrise came I was up and lacking serious energy. I decided to try going down a few hours early to meditate and unfortunately this didn't work in my favor and I couldn't find any stillness in my breath. It was hell in plain words and I couldn't step out of my mind and the two hours dragged. Class then started and it got worse, meditation was impossible but I did remain accepting that I couldn't calm my mind. We went into yoga and my doubtful mind was back and I had trouble concentrating on postures - we did however do some new poses that were a nice change. The lecture followed and was interesting but I couldn't help doubting a lot of things which worries me. Some good news though - one of the girls moved out today and so I got to switch rooms with her and take her bed - so yay I am finally off the cold and wet floor. I have a lot of thinking to do and at the forefront is my family - God I miss them. I think I will step back and try not to make any rash decisions for now.

OBSERVATIONS:
- No sleep
- Massive doubts about going to Mazunte Mexico Retreat!!