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Difficult to start in the mornings, drinks fuel, noisy, noxious fumes out of the back end, lumpy chassis, bits falling off, very high maintenance costs, fluid leaks all over the place, but that's enough about Angela I'm supposed to be talking about our Landrover!
Now you may have been impressed by the ability of scientists to land a probe on a comet 4.5 billion miles from our planet after a 10 year journey, but that is nothing compared to the odds of having a 1999 Landrover Discovery 2 re-start after 42 months in a farm barn.
Our friend Stuart had driven us from Johannesburg to the farm in his own Landrover, a 2014 Discovery 4, a superb driving machine that is related to our Discovery 2 in the sense that the rock hyrax and the elephant are related. The idea was that Stuart's car could back up ours on the return journey. Of course I appreciate there are some Toyota drivers who read this blog (well, I assume they are able to read) who are now thinking that using a Landrover to back up a Landrover is a bit like second marriages, "the triumph of hope over experience" .
Well, the beast not only started but it also drove us, tons of camping gear and pulled our off road trailer all the way to Johannesburg. I'd like to claim that the V8 3998cc petrol engine "purred" all the way back, but having had the catalytic converters removed on an earlier trip, "roared" would be a better description!
Even more amazing, despite an 8 hour road trip, there was not a single drop of oil on Stuart and Trudi's driveway the next day.
Before we left Farm Kokwaan and our very generous hosts Isaac and Liesel, we had one of those wildlife experiences that remind you why you want to come back to Africa.
A porcupine had decided to use the dark corner of one of the garages as a den for giving birth to two young, (they are apparently called porcupettes), a week before we arrived. The mother was trusting enough to bring her young out with her when feeding each evening, allowing us a privileged view of an animal we had never before seen in the wild. Sadly the low light levels meant photographs were not of great quality but one is attached to this blog for the aww factor!
Anyway, from one prickly beast to another, the Landrover! Somewhere in the drive up to Joburg Angela and I decided that we would see how much it would cost to get the Landy roadworthy again then make a decision on what to with it. Danny, a Discovery 2 enthusiast and mechanic with a workshop a mere 500 metres down from our hosts, concluded that the engine and chassis were fine, and that the vehicle just needed a few parts and a major service.
Riding on that wave of enthusiasm, we decided to keep the car and open our wallets. At the time of writing the wallets are still open and the "few" parts are looking more like a Landrover back catalogue.
We have added a few enhancements to the car; the suspension has been raised as we've stuck bigger tyres on. This should prevent us ploughing the centre sand ridge when driving in sand. The downside is that Angela requires six strides and a Fosbury Flop to reach the passenger seat. Getting out is easy, we both do a parachute landing roll on to the pavement.
The other major improvement to the car is the installation of an additional fuel tank in the boot. This 100 litre stainless steel tank will allow us to dispense with the 5 jerrycans we used to strap on the roof. Sad in a way, I still recall with fond memories the petrol station at Kasane (Botswana) when the attendant climbed on the roofrack and proceeded to overfill the cans, resulting in a waterfall of petrol cascading down the windscreen on to a very hot engine. The image of a VW taxi full of smokers at the adjacent pump remains vivid in my memory!
Whilst waiting for the tank to be made, we let Stuart & Trudi have their house back for a 10 day respite whilst we road tested the car and trailer in Marakele National Park. It felt great to be camping again, especially when the tent door and mosquito net zips broke and the LPG gas pipe exploded!
Marakele is a mountainous delight, and one of the few South African parks where the campsite is unfenced. This is because the park is in two sections, the animals with teeth or attitude (lions, leopard, buffalo and elephant) are in the other section.
Two species with attitude are able to roam through your camp, warthogs and ostrich and as they are illegally fed by campers, they have lost their fear of humans. You only truly appreciate the size of a male ostrich when it stands alongside your camping chair looking for food. Angela has a fool proof method of dealing with these birds; she dives in the tent and leaves it to me!
Another animal roams this area but was conspicuous by its absence, white rhino. Fellow campers were full of rumours about the rhino being re-located after 4 had been killed by poachers. At sunset on our last evening, we spotted 5 dark grey lumps walking to the campsite waterhole in line astern, reminiscent of old newsreel footage of Royal Navy WW1 battleships returning to harbour. A spectacular thunderstorm over the distant mountains provided a very theatrical backdrop as the whole camp turned out to watch the rhino drink and disappear back the way they came.
Should you wish to see these animals in their natural setting book your flights now. Over 1020 have been killed in South Africa this year, three times the total for 2010. Estimates suggest that within 3 or 4 years the killings will overtake the birth rate and after that You Tube, wildlife documentaries, books, Yemeni dagger handles and powdered horn in Vietnam (they believe it cures cancer) will be the only record that these mammals existed.
At the time of writing the fuel tank is being fitted, our hosts Stuart and Trudi are offering Danny triple time bonuses if he gets the car back to us by Wednesday and friends in Nelspruit and Kruger (the next victims on our list) are trying to speed up their emigration process before our arrival.
At the moment we are planning to be in Botswana for New Year's Eve, but plans beyond that are "flexible". Huge thanks are due to Stuart & Trudi, Isaac and Liesel and Danny in the meantime.
Angela has reminded me it is "that" time of year again. I had guessed, the shops here in Joburg have been getting me in to the spirit of the festive season since we arrived in late October with all those wonderful Christmas ditties blasting out of the ether.
Just to prove I'm not a total scrooge, have a good Christmas, eat loads of food, over indulge on the alcohol and wake up in January significantly poorer! Must go, sounds like something has got wedged in the chimney!
- comments
Gill Hey, great to hear from you both. Hilarious read, looking forward to the next update. Have fun, take care of yourselves and have a great Christmas. Gill & Rob x
Emma Franklin Porcupettes! I am delighted to learn this word.
Claudia Potgieser Lots of laughs again, what a good start of the morning!
Ralph Hi Gill, thanks for the comments, hope you get a white Christmas and get old scrooge to put a few more logs on the fire before his nuts freeze! Take care, Ralph & Angela x
Ralph Hi Emma, great name isn't it, had assumed they were piglets! See you soon.
Ralph Hi Claudia, thanks for the compliments, we are just hoping the Landrover is done before we fly back home next April!
Steve House prices have soared in Verwood
Ralph Thanks Steve, didn't realise you had internet access in HM prisons these days
Mike & Sue Great stuff, Guys. Have a great Christmas. Hope Santa can find you! xx
Ralph Hi Mike and Sue Santa did find us but he died of heat exhaustion! Good luck with the house hunt