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With my return to England imminent, it got me thinking about how I shall answer the inevitable "how is life in Berlin?" question. As I tend to just beam and say "amazing", or perhaps use more choice language depending on the intended audience, I decided the question require some deeper consideration. As I tend to like talking about myself, and this is my biggest opportunity to do so for a while!
So, what IS life like in Berlin?
Amazing, of course! But there are also some more adjectives I should add...
Naive: I moved here with the basic action plan "Find a job in an Irish Pub, and improve my German." I did the first part in relatively decent time, after just a couple of months of living here I found a job at an Irish Pub, and all was well with the world. Until after a month, when I stopped getting enough shifts to be able to pay my rent, and buy food. Luckily I had enough savings left to survive, but they have been eaten away at more and more since December, and I am left with very little at the moment. My return to England will be entirely funded by my Natwest overdraft.
Poverty-stricken (is that an adjective?): With my insufficient income, I have been the poorest I have ever been in my life. I have finally learnt how to live on a budget, and have got used to forgoing luxuries such as clothes, food and shampoo. There have been weeks where I mostly stayed asleep to avoid spending money, and times when I made 7 euros last me an entire week. Any other place in the world and my financial situation might have got me down, but in Berlin it's simply the way of life for many people, and until I'm one of the beggars with my hand out on the street, asking for "vielleicht 20 cents" on the U-Bahn, or collecting people's empty beer bottles from bins, then I'm still in the more affluent sector of the Berlin public.
Slow (to achieve my goals): my aim was that after a year of living here I would then be fluent in German, and would therefore be able to get a "proper job". Yet I have been here for 8 months, and I am far from fluent. Though there are many things I have picked up, and I am finally seeing some advances in my German abilities, this tends to be more slangy expressions and highly functional words that I can use for loads of different situations. I'll keep on plugging away, but I have to re-evaluate my circumstances. The problem is I can't join a language school without a full time job, and when I have a full time job, I have no time for language school. Catch 22.
Unique: I'm experiencing things here that I wouldn't do anywhere else.Just yesterday I went to Oranienstrasse, at Kottbusser Tor for the May day riots. In the day the street was blocked off from cars, and everyone young, old, Turkish, German, Engish etc descended on the street, where Lucia was pumping out electro and we had a good dance while being showered occasionally with coloured paper from a confetti cannon. With beer in plastic cups and bratwursts provided from stalls everywhere, all there was was As we left later, the police had blocked us all in, but I managed to find a way out as fireworks exploded right by our feet.It's cultural events like this that mix fun and conviviality with violence and Communism that make me really feel like I am living somewhere different, somewhere special. While both these things are possible in UK, they could never slide so seamlessly from one to the other. I even found myself walking through the epicentre of the trouble at 1am, but there was little to write home about going on. Ein Bisschen Frieden for all.
And it's not just yesterday, but things like sitting in a park drinking a beer and cooking some chicken on a barbecue, in the sunshine, when you are approached by a man and woman with a big yellow bag. They kneel down beside you and mix fresh Mojitos for €3... paradise!
Outlook-changing: Growing up in a largely white area, with a strong Christian upbringing and a strong sense of northern-ness, I have long been preached at to be prejudiced. Living with a Muslim lesbian, in a heavily-Turkish populated area is far from what one might call my "comfort zone". But I am thoroughly enjoying seeing the world as it is, not as a good vs bad people dichotomy, with the Muslims and "people of colour" the roots of all evil, and the good upstanding Christian families as the saviours of everyone. Actually, everyone has flaws, you don't have more depending on the pigment of your skin, your sexual orientation, your beliefs or anything else. While I would like to think that I was able to retain an openmind despite pressures to the contrary throughout my life, I must admit that Berlin has helped me relax my outlook even further, and issues I had never even considered have appeared on my radar and I have come to understand more about them too. Be it transgender matters, disabilities, xenophobia, I hope I can say I have become a lot more accepting of other people and different cultures.
Lonely: It's hella hard leaving behind everyone you know and love and moving somewhere far away. It's even harder when your closest friend that you made days after arriving leaves your life too, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the knock this had on my self-confidence, something I strived for years to build, was extremely hard to take at times. And also, about 2 months ago the feelings of missing my friends and even family was almost crippling. I'd be fine when out and about, but the second I was on my own again, the heartache would return. Although that feeling has largely subsided by now, and I am gradually improving my self-confidence again, it is a long and gradual process. I have many friends here that I love, and my social life seems to be rather strong atm, but I am at nowhere near the level of strong friends that I had in Lancaster, and that is difficult. I cannot wait to see all my English friends over the course of the next week!
Hectic: And yes, I wrote this blog almost 2 weeks ago, and never got around to putting it up. Sorry about that. I hope to have an entry about my trip to England up soon, and then one before I head off to Oslo on Thursday.
- comments
Nathan Great blog, I'm still homophobic though and think Gays just need to be brought up with Action Figures and kicking a ball round rather than badminton and barbie's. An if all that fails they should just go through a course of Christian Counselling. I'm not rascist anymore though and am dating a Black paraplegic calle Gertrude who listens to dance remixes of 'Atomic Kitten' and pops paracetamol every once in a while. Love ya Nazi Boy xxx
Caine Interesting read. What you seem to have been led to believe doesn't seem very Christian but its weird how people bend their prejudices into a religion. After all that I think you're being very brave and doing exactly the right thing!