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After our afternoon on the beach the only way to cool off is in the icy depths of the hotel pool not to mention the ice cold beer that we paid for months in advance. Changing the subject slightly... It really is difficult to spend money! Given we are all inclusive we brought a couple hundred euros with us. Yes I had been mis sold ppi and received a cheque a week before we arrived so feeling flush I thought I might have a good spend up at the hippy market. Even though I treated myself and Amelia this funny money is still burning a hole in my pocket. A deffinate sign that we have too much and a timely reminder that I need to sponsor my sister and neice in their race for life. That's what I have renamed breakfast .... Race for life! I have also learned the spannish for 'like herds of wild animals' in order that I can converse with the staff and put some distance between our party and fellow patrons.
I digress...
So back at the hotel pool, ice cold beer time. As usual we find the few sun beds that are in full shade and at least 10 degrees cooler than the frigorifico (fridge). We notice new arrivals, as we do every day, I suppose with so many flights on so many days there is a constant flow of new comers at all hours. Adjacent, a party of four ladies from darkest Scotland, at one point I thought Susan Boyle was one of their party due to the unintelligible speech pattern but no. One sensible lady had more clothes on than me and a wider brimmed hat, most sensible. Beside them one if their party was talking to mum and daughter from .... Drum roll ... Essex... The younger of the two, in her late 40's although looking older probably due to the condition of her skin leathered from sunbeds ( spray tans have only been accessible to most for the last 10 years, prior to that Essex bird had to rely on sunbeds and Clacton beach for their orange complexion, all of the above having a cumulative negative affect on the skin). Vikki thinks she is in her 20's! Mind you she is a terrible judge she thinks I'm still 37.
Essex bird, with her long blonde hair tied together in a loose, to the side, ponytail as only an Essex 40 something can do, tied with what looks like a skinned and rolled hamster ... I can just hear jasmine asking for a fur hair bobble 'like the ones on Romford market'..... She Says to one of the very pasty Scottish women that this holiday is 'just a cheapy, our proper one is coming up'. Yes I thought, this one is our 'cheapy' as well, as we are off to the Isle of Wight very soon and that trip would cost far in excess for self catering than this all inclusive.
The Towie reject then noticed vikki and couldn't take her eyes off her.... She looked her up and down the length of the sun bed (well clearly only part way down due to vikkis height), with such disdain as if she had happened upon a big fat gypsy bride with more of an orange complexion than her own. Clearly she didn't expect 'that sort' on her cheapy holiday in the sun. I can't wait til she ventures into the restaurant tonight. Although we may be outnumbered by northerners there is a strong Lebanese contingent and a few village people staying here as well Well it is Ibiza after all.
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