Its been a week since I got back from my 2nd travel break, and man has it been an eventful week that I'm so glad is over. It started off pretty bad when I found out that I had gotten rejected from P&G on Monday. It was weird how it happened too. I had been emailing them every 2 weeks or so because they kept telling me to wait and follow up. Well, after 2 weeks had passed since they last told me to follow up, I finally got a response. All the email said was "Molly: Unfortunately, all of the internships are full. Thanks for your interest".

Okay, seriously, thats messed up. Were they just not planning on telling me? They made it seem like I should have gotten in touch with them earlier..when in all honesty I dont think that was even possible. I was up on their grill every 2 weeks.

Right before I found out I talked to Krista online, and then I talked to my mom on the phone. I was starting to get homesick at this point because I just miss them so much, and then this email comes out. Needless to say I was pretty much bawling my eyes out. I just felt like I had worked so hard for this internship and then it was just pushed aside like it was nothing. I felt like I had wasted so much time pursuing P&G and waiting, when in reality I could be searching for other internships. Now I don't know where to start, or what to do. I think it's a combination of being in Italy too, because it's still a surreal experience and it's hard to get my mind around pursuing jobs, especially when I just feel so lost in how to go about it.

RIght after I found out and had been crying for about a half hour, I had to go to class. NOT good. I was walking to my class, still quite fragile at this point, and of course the first person I run into is John. He asks me whats wrong, and I told him I didnt want to talk about it. He then tries to put his arm around me and ask me again and I basically freaked out on him telling him I didnt want to talk about it. He was the LAST person I wanted to see. So throughout my hour and half class I was just so solemn and teary-eyed, and at times I couoldnt help but shed a tear. I think John was a little taken back, because he has never seen me like this.

The rest of the day it seemed like everything went wrong. I think the biggest reason why I was so sad though was that I got extremely homesick. My mom had told me her passport might not come in time for her to come visit, and that just added to the homesickness. THen on top of it I kept thinking about krista and the girls at the house and how I wanted so badly to hang out with them. Krista's 21st birthday is coming up tomorrow, and Molly Boner's is the following day...and I kept thinking about how much I want to be able to share it with them. For the first time in a long time, I just wanted to be home...and to forget about the world around me.

Later that day Jess and Heidi made me feel a lot better. They came to my room with a package of homemade chocolate chip cookies, and gave me a pair of sunglasses because they knew I didnt have any. Heidi also wrote me a note, and it really did make me smile. BUT then I got sad again...because it reminded me so much of the things we do for each other at the sorority house. I have such great friends back there, and it's a pretty common occurrence when someone has a bad day to do little things to cheer them up. I remember being worried about my P&G internship and getting a note on my computer from Krista encouraging me and reassuring me that it was all gonna work out. Man, I miss that stuff.

The next day was better. I decided to take that occurence and use it as a learning experience and move on. It happened for a reason, and now I just gotta be pro-active about what I'm gonna do. I did my absolute best, and I'm proud of myself. If P&G doesnt want me it's their loss, honestly. God will take care of me.. I don't think I need to worry about the little things like getting an internship and feeling worthless. It's all meaningless in the end.

So that was the major event of last week. It was an emotional week, with feelings of anticipation and excitement for my parents to come for Easter, but also feelings of sadness and longing to be back with my girls at the house for their birthdays and in general. I just keep telling myself I'm over here for a reason...and I will be back soon enough. I only have 4 more weeks. I just wish I could be there..thats all. But I know in my heart that when I do get back, there are so many great memories to come, and it will be like I never left...I just know it. No matter how much I feel like I've changed, and no matter how much I have grown and learned, nothing will ever change my friendships and relationships with those that I care about. I think that in itself is reassuring enough for me.

Oh I forgot one thing. Last night for Palm Sunday we had our first bible study. A professor from Purdue that teaches here actually lead it. It was sooo amazing. One of my professors and his wife came, and then there were 6 of us girls from the program that showed up. We prayed for a while, got a little bit into scripture, and then just talked about what was going on in our lives over here. I found out that it was the 13th year anniversary that my professor's wife had to bury her daughter. Needless to say it was emotional for everyone. I couldn't even begin to imagine. It was so inspiring to hear her talk about how her faith was the only thing that got her through the event, and without it she probably wouldnt have made it.

So basically, we are going to try and have this be a weekly thing. It was just so great and refreshing, and I didnt realize how much I missed fellowship. Besides, this was the first time I had actually heard a message in English!!!!

Well I'm off to a presentation...Ciao!