Okays, so yes my time here in Germany has been nice.

However, after a lot of thinking and stressing...

I have decided that its not right for me.

Living here in Missen-Wilhams is very lonely. Yes, i have the family and they are all very nice. But I am living in a very isolated place. There is no one my age around here and I work six days a week.

I know, I have only been here a month and I shouldn't give up... blah blah blaah.

One thing everyone here needs to understand is I'M NOT GIVING UP. I have simply realised that this life is not for me. Not for eight months and at this age.

I am at such a wonderful part of my life. I am young, free and adventurous. The first six months of this year I was just starting out at university, living in college. I made the most amazing and special friends in the world. (The kind that you can't wait for your family to meet because you know these friends are for life, just like family).

Being here with out my friends, without the life I had where I was learning each day and there was never a care in the world. I miss it. I think that at this point in my life, that is what I need and where I should be. I need to be with my friends to support me, make me laugh and share memories with. I need to be in a more stimulating environment; somewhere that I can learn each day and accomplish steps towards my future.

Being here in Missen, is very nice, but not fulfilling. I don't have that intellectual stimulation or the friends down the hall. I have been living at Macquarie University in such a wonderful environment, I don't know how to explain it but it is just the perfect place, it fulfills alot of my needs. I have been living with my friends, who have become my family in Sydney. Its hard to part with your family. I need to be there with them.

Okay, this was alot of rambling. I just don't know how to express this in the way I want. I just want everyone to understand that the envrionment here isn't healthy for me; mentally, intellectually and emotionally.

I have had a lovely time here, but now I need to return to my home, in Sydney, with my other home, in Gloucester close by.