Ahh, coming home is always a welcome change. I’m thankful to have this spring break to be back in Colorado with friends and family—time to reflect, plan what will come next in my time in Mexico, and most importantly time to spend with the Lord seeking His will. But I must say it gets stranger and stranger to come back here the longer I live in Juárez. I suppose I’ve just become more used to my home there, that some things here seem unfamiliar.

It is so easy to slip into the trap of becoming cynical about the United States, especially affluent areas like the suburbs of Denver, and especially after living somewhere so different. As I was driving towards my parents home last Friday evening, I was looking at the sprawling homes settled on five acres or more of land…and the thoughts started rolling through my mind. One family of maybe four people taking up the amount of space that 20 eight-person families would nestle into in Juárez. People build homes like this are separated by all the space on their land from their neighbors, then separated from their families by all the space in their homes. They think all these material things will fill their lives but what they don’t know is…and on the thoughts went until the Lord stopped the ugly turn of my thoughts. The truth is that I don’t know the hearts of individuals and that I am just as American and wealthy as the rest of the people I so easily presume to judge. As the Bible says, God chooses the times and places we are each born into, and I know He is sovereign in all His reasons. For those of us given more of certain resources—like education, opportunity, and money, I certainly believe we are responsible to use wisely what God has given us. Not just for our comfort or for the comfort of our families, but for the advance of the kingdom of Jesus Christ.

I know those of you reading who follow Jesus Christ would agree with me on this; it’s not anything new. I just sometimes am struck by the awesome blessing we have received to be able to be used by God! And I am so thankful that we are not the only ones who have this blessing, just because we, as Americans, have more material wealth than 95% of the other people on the planet. You see, the people I’ve come to know and love in Juárez are not missing anything by not being born American! Sometimes I feel that they are MUCH richer.

Let me give you an illustration of what I mean. A few weeks before I went home for spring break, one of my favorite mothers at the school, Verenice, invited me to her home along with some of the other school moms and their kids, for a Friday afternoon feast. Gilbert told me that it is the traditional food they eat in Mexico on Fridays during Lent. Not being Catholic or having much background with Catholicism, he explained to me that the tradition of eating seafood and a wonderful sweet bread instead of more characteristically Mexican foods, came out of originally abstaining from meat during Lent. I was so excited to see where she lived, and to try this once-a-year food, and her kids were very excited to have Miss Heidi come to their house that afternoon. It turned out that there were about ten kids who were also joining us with their moms. As we all gathered outside the school to follow Vere to her house, I could see there wasn’t room for all the kids in her car. So I subtly asked the kids, “Ninos conmigo?” (“Kids with me?) And they jumped up and down and SCREAMED and formed this little mob as they waited for me to get my car. Then they all piled in and I was just overcome with love for them.

When we got to Vere’s house, I was overjoyed to see even more of my students playing outside—I had no idea so many of them lived close in the same small area. They all rushed to me when I hopped out of the car, and led me inside. Vere’s house was beautiful and spotless, though very small compared to most American standards. Really, though, what more space do you need? A room to eat and be with your family, a bathroom, and a room for everyone to sleep. Now, many people in Juárez certainly do not have even that much, but I am just starting to see things through a different lens than I once did. I know that even though Vere doesn’t have much money, she is not poor, though in the United States she would very much be considered that way. But I will just tell you, that in the eyes of the moms I’ve become so close to, I am not the wealthy American teacher, down to shed some light on their little darkness. (HA!) Oh no no. They feel sorry for me. Not in a snoody, condescending way, but in a concerned caring one.

This point struck me as probably twenty-five mothers and children were crowded in this one room of Vere’s house, devouring the delicious cuisine (of which I had seconds and thirds). They turned the conversation to me for a bit, and one mom sweetly asked me, “Miss Heidi, don’t you feel lonely all by yourself in your apartment? Or sad?” Now at first I was a little embarrassed, my pride being pricked a bit that they might think of me as poor loser lady with no family or friends. Yet I know that’s not who I am or the reason the Lord has me where I am. He is infinitely good in providing me with fellowship when I need it, and turning my solitude into sweet time with Him. Thankfully, I’ve been able to give such a response when many people (these moms were not the first) ask me how I cope with being alone. I’m not alone! I am always with Jesus Christ and He is constantly with me! And when He knows I need the fellowship of others, He provides it. What hit me that day was the riches out of which they were asking that question.

Something I’ve come to love about these people is their fierce devotion to their families. Most of them grew up within walking distance of each grandparent, aunt, uncle, and cousin. They also grew up in small homes like Vere’s where not only their immediate families, but also extended probably all lived together. For most of them, all “free time” has been spent in the company of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and children. To simply be alone is, for the most part, outside their realm of experience.

I genuinely value my time alone with Christ, and know He has used that time, more than time at church or in ministry or with my family or friends, to grow in Him. And I pray that these moms and their children will develop deep relationships with Jesus and will seek time alone with Him each day. But I also know my American culture can deceive me into thinking “me” time is my right—my reward after all my hard work to do what I want, how I want to do it. God save me from guarding time so fiercely for myself! These moms pour themselves out constantly for the sake of their families, and they are rich because of it. They are unselfish not only toward their children, but toward the teachers at our school, toward their friends, and continually toward me. Yes, I value this season of my life, where God has me single and able to serve in ways I may not be able to in the future. But how much I can learn from these women about opening up even what I have in Mexico to invite others into family and fellowship! And they are also teaching me a great deal about what it will mean to serve and love when God takes me to the time of life when I have a family of my own.

Right now I’m thankful that I’m different because every difference seems to be an opportunity to speak about Christ. And though many of them don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus, they all seem to embrace me even more because I do. I think I’ve said before that relationships with these women was not something I was expecting, but I have gladly received, thank you Jesus! For they continue to teach me what it means to truly be rich, and to give those riches away.

Some prayer requests: The directors of my school, Maria and Gilbert, have a grown son whose wife is in a coma and things are not looking good for her. Please pray for God’s healing and for peace for their family. Please continue to pray for the resources for me to stay through July 6, the end of school. Thank you so much to those of you who have given! I am so humbled and amazed by God’s provision. Please also pray for guidance in what God would have me do next—whether stay at the school in Juárez, work in another capacity in that area, move back to Colorado, or something else I’ve not even thought of! Pray for more people (English teachers! Office people!) who would be willing to move down for a year or more to give of their time and talents to this amazing ministry. Thank you so much!