We leave our hostel at 6.30am, which involved having to wake up Meenu, who is asleep in a sun lounger blocking the door. If there was a fire she would be trampled to death, completely crushed. Surely there is a better place for her to sleep, anyway, not my concern. It takes us as long as I expected to pry ourselves away from the verbal clutches of Meenu, even at this time of the morning she is in full gear. I look at my ticket and it doesn't tell me what terminal that we are leaving from, so I ask Meenu to phone for me. Big mistake, it was a far longer and more convoluted process than was necessary and I still didn't even get my question answered. So we plod on, to the MRT and to the airport where I am sure that I will be able to work it out.
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This is some airport, so clean and organised, and so large that even when there are a lot of people there, it still manages to feel airy. I can see that we need to go to a different terminal from a board as we get off the MRT, so we jump on a monorail to the new terminal, all effortless. This terminal has some very interesting art features, large bronze drops of rain in a grid of a few hundred, all individually suspended on a wire from the roof. Then all moving independently to depict airplanes and whole manner of things. Very nice. I am glad that I booked my fake flight because as we are checking in the guy at the desk asks me to show him my return flights. I am able to show him on my iPhone, so I made the right decision. After checking in we head in to the duty free area and I get stamped out of Singapore. Though at immigration the guy doesn't believe that I am the same person that is on my passport. Getting asked a few questions that I was able to adequately answer and then given a sweet and sent on my way. So strange, but sure if this is the first time at this stage of travel, I think that I am doing well. Miao has her usual flirt with the shops in duty free and I scope out some breakfast. We pick something, it's crap. It then occurs to me that we have not gone through any security since we got in to this airport. How strange, I even start to think that maybe there won't be any. I shouldn't have worried because as we head to the gate there is security. It is seamless because there is only one plane worth of people heading through and all at different times, a most efficient system. As luck would have it we get a fire exit seat on the plane, which I am most pleased about. It's not a long flight to Jakarta, and I get right to going to sleep, my favourite way to pass the time.
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We arrive in Jakarta and the first thing that I notice is that I am back in the real Asia. Not the super clean, well organised Singapore. Though it is worth mentioning that there are more cleaners running around this airport than I have seen before. Literally about 50 from we exit the plane until we get to the luggage belt, and that was not a long distance. The airport is old, and very relaxed, customs doesn't care what we have. We head outside and then realise that we don't have any money so we head back in to get some money. Miao's card doesn't work in any of the ATMs, great, i'll be paying then, until she can get some money. Out the front there is the usual bargaining with the taxi, which is spelt taksi, regarding the price that we should be paying for the taxi ride. Eventually we get a guy who will use the meter. As we leave the airport we get to pass through the centre of Jakarta, and let me tell you it was not a pretty sight. Old high rise buildings, a constant smog, too many cars, a constant traffic jam, even less rules on the road, the place just feels dirty. It is always interesting when I first get to a new country, I just look out the window, partly in amazement and the new country, trying to see if I can identify any obvious differences between where I have been and where I am now. It is a further hour and a half before we reach our destination, which the taxi driver could not find and indeed had to phone the guest house to ask for directions. Nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen next, though it should have been a clue when we went bumping down a potholed lane in the middle of no where and stopped outside some massive gates opposite a graveyard!
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The taxi driver had to manually pull a chain attached to a bell to get someone to come and let us in. It was at this stage that I was happy to admit that I may have made a mistake, maybe. The gates open up and we enter in to a courtyard. There is some nice gardens, and I can hear a water feature. Beyond the gardens I can see the swimming pool and then a large house, with two smaller houses all within close proximity off to the left. The man who let us in disappears off and we get our stuff from the taxi, it then disappears, along with any chance of escape. As we walk up the path towards the house we pass the pool, upon closer inspection this can at best, be described as a dog pool and not one designed for humans based on the fact that I can't see the bottom of it through the cloudy water. Approaching the house I am greeted by a elderly woman, straight as a poker with her hands clasped behind her back, not looking so friendly. I speak to her anyway and say hello. She extends her hand to shake and responds with "Where are you from? Hmmmmmmm" I raise an eyebrow. The conversation continues like this, with her making the hmmmmm noise at the end of every sentence. The pitch of the hmmmmm raises near the end, the way questions tend to in English. How very bizarre, and we are not even in the house yet! We are motioned in to the house although it takes me a long time to get the woman to show us where we will be staying, instead she is more concerned with where we want to go today. Entering the house was like stepping back in time. It was full of everything from generations of collecting. It was like stepping in to a National Trust building. Of course coupled with this olden world decor was the complete and utter lack of any atmosphere whatsoever, the only noise in the silence between my interrogation is the ticking of a clock. Tick tock, tick tock. Perhaps counting down until my demise. We get shown to our room and walk up a spiral staircase up to another large living area, though you could tell that there had not been anyone living here in a long time. We are shown where we are staying and it seems fine, though the lack of any sort of door on the toilet is a bit strange. Just a tiled partition that doesn't even stretch to the ceiling. I can sit on the toilet and look out over the room. Great. When the door closes we wait until the lady has gone downstairs before bursting in to laughter. What is this place? Why did I pick this one? Why does that woman speak like that? Does anyone else live here? Are they all dead in the graveyard? I was half expecting Miao to tell me that there was no way that she could stay here and that I was going to have to order a taxi to take us somewhere else. Lucky for me Miao is good craic and she could see the funny side of the situation. I decide to venture out in to the living area outside the room and end up having a snoop around in some of the other rooms that were on this floor. I'm pretty sure that we have been put in the worst room available, sure it just adds to the amusement of the whole situation. After my snoop I head downstairs to ask the woman about where we are or what we could do that was nearby because I saw nothing. Unfortunately this was indeed the reality, there was nothing nearby and asking the woman only served for her to bring out a sheet of paper, that was as old as time itself, that told me how to go to a number of places, of which I was interested in none. Though inwas told that I have to bring this paper back and that I must not, under any circumstances leave this paper in the hands of a taxi driver. This was the extent of the help that the womam could offer me. I took this opportunity to ask about the house, and how many people live here. Just her and her sister, and of course the two servants. I wanted to ask when the last time that somebody had stated here, but I was scared of what the answer might be. the woman then introduces herself to me as Dickna, I'm sure I have spelt that wrong, but that is my phonetic spelling. I laugh inside my head as every sentence out of her mouth is still followed by the hmmmmm. I head upstairs to tell Miao about my great success in recon. Again more laughter. I think I am actually crying at the whole thing. We head downstairs and sit outside, when Dickna offers us some tea or coffee. I ask for a coffee and Miao a tea. Dickna then hollers in to the other house at one of the servants, all the while with back straight and hands firmly clasped behind, like an army general. The more I think about it, the more she could fill this roll, short and stocky, and with a good set of lungs on her. Our drinks arrive, a pot of tea, two cups and some instant coffee. I'm perplexed, where is the water for my coffee. It would appear that if I want coffee, I should pour myself a cup of tea, then add some coffee, in some coffee/tea combo. Awww well, I'll give it a go. Disgusting. The tea is so cold that the coffee doesn't dissolve properly, instead floating on the surface. My god!! Can't even get a normal cup of tea in this place.
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We are both pretty hungry and so we decide to head out, Dickna said there are some places to eat just at the end of the road, so we will go and take a look at those, just need to ring the bell upon our return. So out we go, past the graveyard and up the lane, having to negotiate the lake that has formed in a pothole, despite the heat. Everyone is staring at us as we walk along, it has been a long time since I have noticed this and I feel a little uncomfortable, it just further confirms my suspicions that no white people come out here, ever! We turn on to the main road and there is no footpath, and the cars are travelling particularly fast round these twisting roads. I'm a little concerned. We walk for a short while and nothing along the way looks especially inviting. We end up at a supermarket and I decide that this is going to provide me with my lunch and dinner. We discuss that the best plan is to buy some alcohol so that the humour does not wear off for the rest of the day. We grab some food from outside at a couple of stalls, and it was super spicy and delicious. Lunch and dinner will consist of noodles that we bought, and some crisps for later. Back down the lane, ring the bell and wait for 5mins before someone appears, then straight back to our table where we crack open the alcohol. We discuss the plan for tomorrow, we both agree, anywhere but here. I have a look at other parts of Indonesia, and Miao looks at where she will fly home from. We decide that we will fly half way down Java to the mountainous areas, and maybe do some hiking. The first plan was to buy some train tickets, but the website in only in Indonesian, and although I could just about navigate it, there were no tickets for tomorrow, and there was no way we were staying here any longer. That left another flight. Unsure of where to go we decide to go to the airport tomorrow and see what we can do. We have our exciting dinner of various delicious pot noodles before we go upstairs to watch a movie. I return the bottle opener in to the servants house and get to play with some rats before heading upstairs. Movie and then bed. What a day!