16th October

I had 7 year old Jimmy stand next to me as we played the game, as he'd been disruptive throughout the class. This is typical Jimmy though. Every Sunday class with Zebra every other sentence is "Jimmy sit down" "Jimmy no Chinese" "Jimmy be quiet"…
I've known Jimmy since Winter Camp. I've been teaching him for 9 months and maybe it's him growing up but as the months have passed he's been becoming more and more of a nuisance.
Recently Jimmy's usual thought about answers have been rushed, incorrect or non existence.
At the end of class I purposely stamped his yellow book last. Packing away his books I tried to explain "Jimmy you are a good boy but why have you become a bad monkey?" He only understands set questions like 'Which season do you wear a scarf?' Not some deep words from his English teacher. Tears formed in his eyes. Something was up with him. Usually when Jimmy is told off he shrugs it off, which frustrates every teacher as you can see good in him but today it was different, he just sunk down in his chair.
With an arm around him I led him to Freda, wanting her to explain to Jimmy, that I can imagine he thinks he's been constantly picked on in class but it's because I care and know really he isn't a bad monkey. She just quickly said something to him about being good. I asked her again to explain, as she said "yeahh" walking into the office.
I stood there watching Jimmy mope down the stairs, arms hung by his side, as tears now formed in my eyes. I'd clearly upset him and with a language barrier there was no way to console him.
I remember the amount of talks I used to have at school and I'm sure the teachers thought they were going around in circles, constantly on my case but now I know I'm so happy they never did give up! And this is how I feel with Jimmy. I just wanted to talk to him. For him to know he is a fantastic, bright little boy, but I was let down by my co-workers, left hurt and annoyed by their lack of care.



17th October

Outside school 6 year old Mark kicks over his mother's scooter, whilst screaming and continually trying to hit or bit her, as Felix pulls up in his car.
I explained to Felix that after class I had the TA help me to speak to Mark's mother, as he'd been a bad monkey. He was fine until she gave him a small slap in the face and I guessed he thought he'd been made to look small in front of us and wanted to get back at her.
"Emma unless a child has kicked or hit you, you don't need to say anything to the parents about the children" This made no sense to me!
I have had Turtle class since their first day. Their personalities, their behaviour, I know the children well. And so when a child is behaving out of the ordinary, I worry.
I base my teaching on how I was at school. What discipline shook me in my boots, what praise made me work harder or how a teacher kept me focused in class. But I'm not just working with the children, it's also about working with the parents too. I know for a fact my parents appreciated everything my teachers told them, good and bad. It's not a single effort from the teacher, a kid or father. We all need to be in it together. Yet Felix cannot see my point. Maybe he doesn't want to upset any parents, say anything negative towards a child in case in the worst circumstance they take the child elsewhere. I don't know, I don't understand and I don't agree!

Leaving school frustrated and unwell, I headed to Darcy's for company as Lindsey was still in Hong Kong.
Mamma sat in front of me on the sofa legs crossed instructing me to do so too. She took hold of my hands and held on tight as I was instructed to concentrate on something peaceful and relax my body. I pictured the journey I would take back from school, through the market and finally to my compound in Uganda. When mamma finally let go of my hands, she pointed at my eye and I was guessing she was commenting on the black bags under my eyes. But it wasn't that. Darcy handed a small mirror to me and all around my eye had blackened like I'd been hit. Apparently I was cold inside and by bringing out the warmth caused blood to come to the surface, just like bruising. I just sat there, baffled and amazed!


19th October

Health problem: 3 days of tonsils covered in white spots, a sore throat with the sensation of my neck swelling.
Diagnosis: An worn out body!

Looking up the symptoms online, I thought I had tonsillitis. Never once did I think the doctor would say it was all down to a rundown body!
I don't feel like I've been overworking or exhausting myself but for once I need to listen to my body! These past two days at school have been draining. Trying to control my classes with a near nonexistent voice has not been the easiest task. My throat and my voice is a very big necessity when teaching well!
I do now wonder if my eye infection had ties to a tired body too. If it was or wasn't I have less than three months left in China and plan on finishing my time here.
Antibiotics, Chinese natural medicine, vitamins, Chinese tea and 2 days off school - Just the start to revitalizing myself.

Be calm and carry on x x x