oh baby it is so nice when i come on n i have a message off u makes me feel special!!! hehe x i found my camera darlin n am happy now n am gonna take some pics to send to u!! i dream bout u every night n i love it but it makes me miss u so much more!!! but at least u seem to be havin a good time which im glad bout cos i love u n want u to be happy!!! cant wait to talk to u tonight!!! yeah i start work tomorrow... love u xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

heya sweetie, yer the job will be cool you start tomorrow right? i think? get some cash and then we can go and spend it together and you can be with me and i cant wait! its getting closer now though which is good but your right its so mnuch harder then i thought it would be im gonna call you tonight though because i want to tlk to you and then we can sort out the msn thingy! its hard now because im like on a beach and stuff its just chilling out and not really doing anything which like you said thats exactly what we were so good at i cant wait to just whold you and watch you fall asleep again, its the nicest thing! i hope your sleeping tight darling, i had the best dream about you last night i hope your having the same! anyway i gtg the time on this thing is running out. i love you baby more than anything1 your boy. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

well i am absolutely exhausted today and i have to pack up my whole room for the shippers which is really irritatin!!! i wish u could be here to help i love u so much... especially when im tired n stayin at home cos i wish u were here to lie on the couch with me n fall asleep whilst watchin some crappy movie!! it is bank holiday today not that it makes any difference to me now seen as well i have nothin to do with my life!!! can we arrange some time to get on msn cos i want to chat bout my year out but need u 2 do that... anyway i earnt £20 last night which is quite good really i suppose for 2 hours work n then i will be startin work at the restaurant in a few days so should start rackin up the money soon!!! hehe x n its gonna go towards seein my baby cos i miss u more than ever... this is so much harder than i thought... especially bein around couples all the time it makes u realise more what ur missin!!! anyway write back when u can sweetie n i will speak to u soon x love you with all my heart!! mwah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey cheeky.

Hope your ok and are having a good relaxed sunday! it was so nice talking to you this morning and hearing your goregous little voice! Its all i can think about all day and its nice because it was like we were just down the road from each other again! Oli is a prat and always has been he is a total waste of space and at least now you will have no more to do with him in your life so your ok! haha offically the worst head boy ever and you are officially the best ever! haha! head gir that is and everything else in the world! ah the memory of us makes me smile so much and makes me so happy thinking about you holding my hand, or in bed with me, rolling over and being able to put my hand on you and gently kiss you so you dont wake up! ah baby miss you so much. this blog has made me alot happier im glad you feel that way because thats how i feel, i feel like it has been such a strain and although its so hard it just feels like we are so much stronger then that and really it makes no ods because i love you so much and like you said we do have to be mature, and it has made me so happy and i trust what we have so much now because its just so strong it makes me really happy. I know exactly what you mean about not being able to do anything! everytime i go out, its good because of the boys but i just find myself sitting down thinking about how much the songs remind me of you and us, like sitting in sanuk and kissing and going back to yours and it is you just look around and your not there so im empty, but the thought of the years and years we will spend together means that although it hurts so much now its so worth it just another glimpse of your eyes would make my life worth living! your a babe and your my babe and im yours forever darling. better think of some things you want me to do for you when we are together again! i want a list that will last for at least the 4 months we have been apart! haha! Darling i love you your always on my mind. Thank you for being there and know i always am! have a good day baby, im sure you will. im thinking about you. your baby boy

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hey baby sorry i have been really busy with the prize day n leaver's ball speech which i have to do tomorrow! Oli is bein a p****n is doin nothin so i am runnin around like a blue arse fly tryin to sort stuff out cos he cant be arsed, Mrs Lee keeps ringin me n havin a go n tellin me how vital it is the speech is done n how important it is n im workin as hard as i can at it but what can i do if other people arent ready n then i have to link them all together by connecting sentences type them all up n assign different parts to different people!!! ha christ x n to make matters worse oli is complainin bout how much he has to do cos he has to put like 100 photos on a disc for Mrs Lee, felt like smacking him he has been useless!!! had a practice today for prize day n i swear people think im stupid i have read in chapel like 4 times every year since i joined the school n i understand we have to do it once so they can tell how it sounds cos i wrote the speech so they will want to check it but they know i can read n the rev wasted 40 minutes of my time today making us keep goin over it on the microphones even tho he said it was perfect the first time... penis! hehe anyway feel better now i have had a good rant!!! am pretty tired cos i got in late last night n was lyin in bed thinkin bout u for hours was so nice... last night was another one of those nights were i just missed u so bad!! everyone was dancin in a big group n i was havin a really good time but suddenly i just looked around n realised i really didnt want to be there! n i know its nice to go out with ur friends every so often n i would if u were here but its just u have been away so long now n i just look at everythin differently thats what i meant!! instead of just enjoyin myself n not really thinkin anythin i just looked at the people i was with n wanted to go home cos although it is fun i just honestly dont want to do that cos i know what i would rather be doin!! when i say changed i mean i think our relationship has had to mature alot otherwise we wouldnt be able to cope n to be honest i love the way our relationship is now!!! i feel that it is so much stronger n we really appreciate each other!! i talk bout u all the time n wish u were here of course but like is said i really think it has done us good and i dont know bout u but i feel so much more mature all of a sudden n this is now a really serious relationship but not in a cripplin kind of way!! we are still young so we dont need to live off each other... n it is nice that we have such a good balance between seriousness and doing our own thing whilst being completely in love if u know what i mean!! thats all i wanted to say bout the changing!!! i will always love u and dont ever be worried cos i will always be here for u xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hey sweetie, i thought you were going to write me a huge blog! anyway im at singapore airport, just texted you but you seem busy so i thought i would get on here and just say hello. im going to try and call you when i get to auz i think it will work there and things should be easier to talk so you can tell me about those things you want to and we can chat properly and hopefuly it wont be too expensive. well done baby on finishing your exams im glad you feel better too because i dont want you to feel down, i know how hard it is and how upsetting it is for you to be away from me especially now and im beside myself everytime your on my mind which is always because i miss you so so much and i dont want you to think i dont. what do you mean your feelings towards me have changed? lol it does worry me baby- because i dont want you to forget me now with all the new things you will be doing the summer and all the cool things i dont want to fall to the wayside in your life, and i know that you will be everpresent in my thoughts because you always have been and i know will be. just dont want you to either forget what we have or just be entertained by new things. still i know you wont because i know how much you love me because you tell me everyday and i hope you know dalring your everything to me and i adore you. im glad your exams are over and the summer will be a beautiful one. i wish you were here so so much i just want to see you. ow baby. just gotta get on. be careful when you go out baby, i dont like not being there to help you if you needed it, i know your a big girl! just dont get too pissed in blackpool- without me! lol. have fun baby and know i will always be thinking of you. hope your night was good darling and im thiinking of you. post on here. love you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

well i feel so much better baby n i want to thank u for bein so understanding im sorry i said u couldnt comfort me cos i think u have done an amazin job n don't know what i would do without u!!! sent u a text hopeu got it... ur my baby boy n always will be!! miss u more n more each second!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

when i say changed i dont want u to worry i just think my thoughts about u have changed alot cos they ahve had to!! there is no excitment in my life anymore or anythin that makes me want to jump out of bed in the mornin for!!! i do believe that u think of me of course i do its just the pain seems so deep it i think it cant possibly be worse or u... especially with all the problems that have added to my upset!! sometimes i think cos i act quite strong u think it doesnt affect me as much as it would some other person but just cos i try n carry on like normal doesnt mean it upsets me any less- in fact sometimes it harder this way!! thanks for the email it has made me feel a little better!!! but there are few events i need to talk to u bout n they are best over the phone not on here for private reasons!! ur amazin n thanks for ur messages they have really helped i will try n be stronger but im sure once wednesday is over i will feel less stressed!!! bring on the summer!!! love u darlin xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hey! i just sent you an email, i cant believe you ask me that, i dont know how you can believe there is anyway that i dont miss you. and im not talking about just the passing thought, im talking about the heart wrenching cant do anythign without you kind of missing. what do you mean yourself changing? im worried, i wish i was there. and dont be silly about spare a little thought its the only thing i think about. you have to belive me here/ i hope you already do.

love you

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hey!!! have been trying to get hold of u all day but i guess ur busy!! ur gonna laugh when u read this n think how can i possibly think this but do u miss me?? n i dont mean at all cos i know u do but i mean really miss me... like i miss u!!! i suppose its only natural that u dont cos ur havin such a great time have read all ur blogs so i know u are n i wouldnt want to take that away from u but i just wanna know during all this fun do u spare a little thought for me?? i love you and always will just feelin really lonely at the mo n wish u could be here cos im really confused at the minute n feel myself changin but i dont know how!!! would be nice of we could talk some time about it but i know thats not really possible!! anyway get back to me when u can sweetie, i look forward to hearin from u!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello baby, at singapore aiport, just on the internet there i thought i would catch up with you, i dont know if all of my messages are getting through but i replied to this one before. still darling i hope your ok and working hard like a good girl! im sure you will be. Singapore is a lovely city small but very clean and modern i think you would like it lots. Its about 2 in the morning here and i cant stop thinking about you so i went to find some computers to tell you so. i think your going out tonight, so have a good time and let me know how it goes. wish you were here with me although for once your night will probably be alot better so maybe i wish i was there with you. lol. hope the family stuff is not so frustrating and full on right now because i want you to be able to concentrate on your work, hopefully you can. oh and baby thank you for doing this pill thing for me i really appreciate it and it means alot to me that you think of me enough to do that for me. i love you baby and i cant wait to repay you the favour of being so considerate. on my mind as ever darling i feel happier now i have kind of talked to you. i will call you when im in bangkok, so i can hear your pretty little voice! i hope your ok dalring and i will be thinking about you non-stop dont you worry.

have a good night my love.

Arun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hey baby!!! i feel alot better today now i have spoken to you but i wish u were here to comfort me in person but u really have been great and i am not just sayin this but without u just bein there to talk to i would have had a breakdown i think!!! hehe x i know it is not healin everythin n all my problems but u are easin them so much n i thank u for that!!! my mum will soon come to realise that she is wrong and when she is not invoted to key events in my life; wedding birth of children etc she will just wish she didnt let somethin so pathetic as this get in the way of everythin!! she is the one who will miss out in the end and plus when u think bout it she hasnt stopped me from seein u and although she can make it very difficult with cutting off my money n stuff i will soon be working so i can pay for it myself, and i will try and see u at least every week but dont want to interupt ur uni life cos i know u need to make new friends n settle in!! anyway we will see after i have gone into clearing what the situation is!! am startin to get worried now tho bout the whole exam results n gap yearr n family movin thing!!! anyway baby will try n get some pics sent n i will speak to u soon im sure!!! what day do u leave india sweetie?? soon isnt it?? love u with all my heart xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx