Back in Mumbai.

The spiritual Oneness Breakthrough programme; guaranteed emotional breakthrough or your money back!
The literature promises "from breakdown to breakthrough in three days"

I've worked hard over the last 30 years to reach this level of break down -
with no job, no fixed address and two months of eating Indian food, if there was ever a time to reach out for divine intervention surely this has to be it?

The Oneness programme or Deeksa blessing - is one of the many spiritual paths sweeping India and apparently the world.

It works on recognising your own emotions and how they in turn reflect your feelings towards others, with a fair amount of clapping, shouting and dancing thrown in for good measure.

Day 1 was all about what kind of person you are - Sheena is blue (structured, likes making lists) and I am an orange with a dash of red (has vision, makes solutions, an entrepreneur…….!)

Day 2 we had our spiritual wedding; we hope to get our hands on the official spiritual photo's for family and friends and the Spiritual wedding list at John Lewis will go online any day now.

Day 3; We handed over all of our savings, gave up all material belongings and swore to devote our remaining time on earth to God.

I AM, I CAN, I WILL!

On the way back from day 2 of spiritual enlightenment we experienced first hand the horror of road rage in Mumbai. Our driver was taking his usual route at the usual speed and cut up a moped on which an entire family; father, pregnant mother and toddler were precariously perched.
The first we knew about it we were surrounded by scooters angrily banging on the windows - Sheena reacted first and locked the doors whilst returning fire!

The man with the pregga wife swerved in front of us and blocked our path, stopping all traffic - a mob appeared out of the blue angrily demanding the driver out of the car for his rightfull kicking.

This was not the best situation we have been in; a Muslim driver with two westerners in the back having nearly killed a pregnant woman and her four-year-old son and trapped in a car.

This was justice Mumbai style.

But suddenly two police officers arrived from out of no-where - we were saved - and in the nick of time, I was about to don my ju jitsu pants and give the mob what for!
(just after I'd put what I'd learnt that day at the breakthrough into action and praid to the almighty for the first time since Sunday school)

I'm afraid that the police here are worse than the public - they grabbed the driver and pulled him from the car - ignored us both completely and whisked all three of us off to the local cop shop.

So how much does it take to bribe an Indian copper??

- Your answers on the message board please, closest entry will be announced next week!