This is getting silly! Each blog is turning into a food guide - I'm starting to look like Michael Winner.

As is so often the case, it begins with the customary kingfisher curry.

Then there was the tandor restaurant at the Sheraton - wow - kebabs as long as your arm, I'd go as as far as to say the best chicken I've ever tasted, washed down with a vase of lager and the richest dal in the world - heaven (Thanks for the tip Mits!)

We put down Chinoise at t he Taj - I can't remember how much we ate but it included soup, dim sum - chicken with black bean and green pepper/egg fried rice rather than noodles, an unleaded on the side - the lot.

And then the splurge at the fabulous jw marriot buffet - the best hotel in the city (according to the tripadvisor queen), 3 hours and seven courses of bliss.

I know what you're thinking -………calm down dear………But there is just too much good food to be eaten,

We love Mumbai!

We are staying at juhu beach - over the road from the jw marriot - in the Juhu Residency boutiquey hotel where the staff are unable to distinguish between their elbows and their ar******s.

It has become a battle of wills - The will of Miss Patel,whom after 5 w eeks in India has been doing so well biting right through her lip and with patience tested - enough is now enough

The crusade has begun with the war on waiters across the axis of taxi's -

Day 1 - We battled with the waiters, Day 2 was over the room rate
Day 3 was all about the laundry, and day 4 - we clashed over getting a late checkout

To top it off breakfast is not up to scratch and we've resorted to bringing in our own choco crunch and alfonso mango's.

Juhu beach is what a Mumbai beach is all about - locals walking, sitting, eating, playing, begging, around the clock .

The traffic is something else - stuck in a t raffic jam in a classic black & yellow cab with furry ceiling & seats in 40-degree heat is not the best way to spend an afternoon.

Or the other option is to brave a rickshaw that winds it's way through the traffic - driving on the pavements, the wrong side of the road, only just missing that bike and the head on collision with the truck - they have absolutely no idea where you want to go or where they are taking you - and you have no idea whether your going to live and whether this should really be costing you one hundred rupees when the meter reads only ten!

I was lucky enough to have my first experience of shopping for sari's
- it was super -
and then shopping for the bangals to match -
and then my second experience of shopping for sari's -

and then………

The Mumbai shopping malls - we went wild with excitement; t-shirts, dresses, sandals, pumps, specs, baby clothes, earrings
- BABY CLOTHES! Yes, as apparently you never know when you might need a tiny all in one when travelling around India.

And for the culture; we visited a slum - the biggest in Asia - a very organised slum that looked very much like the rest of India, with mini factories that re-cycle plastic, cardboard and make India's finest fake leather bags.

(note to Will; I have the details - shack 2, row 6, opposite the s*** heap - specialists in local goat skin for the discerning customer, gacchi/shinnel/lois vuton - no minimums, 7 day leadtime, payment in cash, no questions asked, bish,bash,bosh)