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So from Shimla we headed for the Ganges - through the hills and forests thatwind away for seven hours through stunning valleys and hillsides on the road to Rishikesh and Haridwar.
Haridwar - where the Ganges emerges from the Himalayas' to start it's long journey into the plains of India. A Mecca for Hindus - the icy cold waters flow furiously through canals designed for the sole purpose of prayer - to wash oneself and ones clothes in the great river - purifying yesterdays sins and smells!
There is not a great deal to say about Haridwar; we took our morning bath in between a couple and an old fella doing their laundry.
It was fairly hairy - it took a bit to negotiate the current - steps lead into the river and rods linked with chains prevent you from being carried down stream and it took us both a while to pluck up the courage to take the plunge.
25km up the road sits Rishikesh - the hippy & yoga capital of the world. On a bend of the Ganges and at the foot of a valley - Rishikesh sits on the beaches of the great river as it emerges from the hills.
In my mind I was going to have several days experiencing the spiritual side of India, with yoga and meditation in the morning and a swim in the river to escape the blazing sun in the afternoons.
But when the cab dropped us off at the far end of the suspension bridge and we'd started to drag our baggage train in the direction of the town it was clear that we weren't going to fit in; this is the place where every dirty, dreadlocked, hippy in fancy dress- and enlightenment seeker from California comes to escape.
- Escape from soap, meat and alchohol - yes alchohol - no beer for a week! It was time to go cold turkey.
The food was awful. Nothing but veg curries, plain pasta and falafal wraps to choose from. Every menu promised baked or roast potatoes or hash browns with cheese - which all amounted to boiled curried spuds and grilled yaks cheese.
The Jaipur Inn was a step up from the Hotel Om in Haridwar (which wasn't terribly difficult) we were getting used to sharing our bathroom with roaches but here we were lucky enough to have a room full of mosquitos on the first night , a little shrew running around on the second and on the third a scorpion spent the night in my shorts! (the shorts were not on me at the time!!)
Rishikesh is full of yoga ashrams and in the spirit of things, Sheena rose at the crack of dawn, put on her ju jitsu outfit (I faked a bad stomach) and went for her first - and last - yoga lesson at the Sri Sant Sera Ashram; with an overweight gay couple she was put through her paces, her body parts bent into positions they'd never been to before!
After which the instructor took a liking to our Sheena and became a little too friendly and finished with a personal one on one back massage!
That was the last of the Yoga lessons!
Unperturbed, at 5pm, Sheen headed for her first hindi lesson (I unfortunately still had the bad stomach!)
Then she caught the eye of a completely mad sadhu - (madly in love!)
-Raju Baba spent the next four days charming my girlfriend - not to be put off by my presence - he was determined to get Sheena into the hills with him to have his sadu way. First with expensive jewellery and then with artwork by his own talented hand - still the poor man was having no luck. He waited for her in the morning and took her to breakfast - or rather I would take them both for breakfast! with a last desperate attempt to woo he offered her his manky yellow snake stick, surely this would be enough to secure her love?!
After your yoga lesson and masala spuds you can visit any one of the many bookshops with any and every book written on religion, yoga, spirituality, karma sutra, guru's and every emotion you may have had, will have and want to have.
Or if you can't find what your looking for in the book shops you can have your palm read!;
…so, it turns out that Sheena has had a rocky time up until now, but the good news is that it's going to get better after 2009!
…..I have spent my time up until now thinking too much about things….but the good news is that it's going to get better after 2009!
……Sheena's current relationship is going to the one that lasts,(bad news for Raju Baba?)
and my current relationship happens to be the one that is going to last!
But unfortunately it turns out that Sheena will pop her clogs at 76,
…..whilst I will sign out at 80!
And man utd will win both the league, and the champions league, Ronaldo will not go to Real Madrid, Tevez will sign permanently, Nani will get good and Fergie will never retire!
(cost me a few hundred rupee's, but worth every one!)
We headed out of Rishikesh the same way we arrived; dragging our bags across the suspension bridge waving poor heart broken Raju Baba and lonely snake stick goodbye!
THE END.
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