haha i poisoned ze spurz team! martin vill never beat me now! mwa ha ha ha!

bosef is as susal mate. still lurkin for that amazing jobs thats out there for me somewhere! i got half way through that book and aint read it for a while. makes me a bit depressed reading about al these ppl that have found jobs they actually like! yeah lookin forward to the partay! should be nuff gash for ya son lol. your invite should be at your house by now. hopefully your old dear might of opened it and got my number lol. anyway dude, enjoy the rest of your trip you lucky b******. cya in june. b-b-b-blessss

guess which member of team fun is joinin the citigroup gang this summer?

some clues: 1. fun, 2. brasil, 3. ocean

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wowowowowowow! skydive sounds awesome.

i didnt do the job app, pete did. my joke telling ability is as bad as ever. but its my flex, why change it? c*** soc was well good. most fun ive had since ive been back. got battered. was hopin tom rix would smack gibbo but it didnt happen. gibbos a dick.

im also wikked at podium dancin. its my new skill. along with fun. cant wait to go back to ocean after exams. i rekkon we can fit in 3 trips. tho the last day of term coincides with the first day of the world cup. im gona save up money this month so i can battered loads. boom!

hello everyone!

god so much to talk about i duno where to start.

First we did a skydive a couple of days ago! was brilliant! - Heres a brief rundown. we were driving south out of Abel Tasman National Park when i saw a skydive place at the side of the road, i pulled over to check the prices and stuff, deborah stayed in the car, i came back 5mins latter and to debvorahs horror i had booked us for a skydive then and there. it was funny, we wernt plannin to do it at all and ddnt realise we could do it there but the ppl said we cud do it straight away so i said yes. anyway we got kitted up and within 30mins we were in the plane! it was good coz we ddnt have time to get nervous really. It was 5 in the evning and there was a well good sunset over one of the most beautifull parts of NZ so it was perfect really (especially compared to the couple of rained off attempts in Taupo - we ddnt think we were gona get to skydive in NZ and had kinda forgotten bout doing it when i booked us in!) anyway we booked a jump from 13,000ft (well high!) and a dvd filming guy to accompany us. The man deborah was strapped to looked exactly like the 'GUNS DONT KILL PEOPLE, I KILL PEOPLE' guy from Happy Gilmore or JAWS from J.Bond for those who dnt watch Happy Gilmore! i thought this was quite funny. it is kinda. anyways we started to fly up to 13,000 feet and we'd been climbing about 10mins and were well high and went past the top of a peak of mountain and i was sitting right on the edge of this little plane by a really flimsy clear plastic door with Ant (my tandom guy) strapped to my back and he goes 'that mountains 4000ft' - s*** - we're jumping from more than 3 times that - it was a bit scary but like Lauren said in her email you still dont get scared - i think this is because you really cant take in what youre about to do. youve never done it before so although you know what your gona do you dont know really. like you dunno wat its gona be like so you dont really know if you shud be scared. i duno if this makes sense. anyway we get to 13,000ft and the door opens so im just sitting a centremetre from the edge and the houses below look like micromachines and then the guy whose filming me (simon) leaps past and climbs out the plane but hangs on to it to film me jumping out. Me and Ant shuffle fwd and i smile goodbye to deborah and Jaws and u have to tilt your head and feet back so your arched and then just fall fwd. You just do it without really thinking again so its still not really sacry but then when you start to fall 3 miles at 126mph then its pretty scary! but its so cool you dont really feel scared its just feels scarily weird! and then theres a guy right behind you and a guy right infront with the dvd so its surreal its like your having a chat while falling out a plane at terminal velocity! its brilliant though, the cameraman waves goodbye and then Ant pulls my parachute chord after what seems like only a 10sec freefall but was actually a drop of 9000feet for 54seconds! and then we glide down slowly and its brilliant coz i can see deborah and jaws doing the same and you realise your all safe! phew! and the scenery is ofcourse unbelievable. All in all it was brilliant - i think id be more scared to do it again though - its scarier now you know wat its like. i'll show you all the dvd if you like. deborahs is funny - twice ppl try to shake her hand (mid-air and after she's landed) and both times she's in such a daze that she blanks em. classic.

Anyway apart from that we've been doing more cool stuff. did the longest flying fox/zipwire in the world the other day. that was brilliant it was just over a mile long between two peaks of a huge valley - it wasnt really sacry but was well good - the guy running it was a ledgend too so we got a second ride free. that was great.
Apart from that have just been seeing the sights really - the national parks and stuff - is all just so scenic - its just photo opportunity after photo opportunity. I can show you all some of them when im back too! lucky you Haha

Just read the spurs v bolton report - am relieved - i guess u txtd pete but i havent had any signal for the last few days (about the only bad thing bout NZ) fingers crossed for nxt sunday and for barca - ive got a good feeling bout both but i still cant imagine us in champs league.

Am very excited bout Cyprus aswell - so's deborah - i miss everyone loads - travelling is just unbelievable and we've been having so much fun but you do miss your friends and england. i cant wait for the next few months - australia - singapore - wmbledon - world cup - cyprus - still some summer left. its all gona be brilliant!

Zinho your job application was very funny mate - your improving your joke telling - well done.

Chris i liked the firearm joke that was funny!

Any interesting news from home - jobs? zinho? driving? zinho turbo? how was cocsoc? etc.

Dan hope youve found a good lilo mate. you crack me up.

Dave you read that book? any good? hows BOS? looking fwd to your bday?

anyway i better get going ive been on the net for ages and im getting hungry - i could catch up with you lot for hours but best not spend all my dollars.

take care everyone - love you all - xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

lauren,i have been getting into trouble with my weeing.paul keeps shouting because i keep doing it right near the doorway of our van so he steps in it.i really can help it these days,as soon as i see grass i just pee there straight away!our skydive dvd is hilarious-on my landing i was unfortunately dragged along some muddy field on my backside for about 10 metres so i have some rather suspicious looking brown stains on my boiler suit when i get up.we dont really know what to do in australia yet-maybe rent a car.have heard from a few folks that the neighbours tour in melborne is excellent so we will try to get on that

Hello, Have you done your skydive yet? My mum and dad are showing everyone who comes to our house the DVD of ours. At the end they told us to get excited and cheer but I do what can only be described as a thunderbird impression. Debs, I like how you described Napier as a sleepy town: we didn't see a single soul the day we were there! Bad news about weeing on your feet. I have the same problem with the Asian squat toilets all though I am perfecting it. I think the lower the better, thats the knack. Our friend Tessa thought you had to sit on the squat toilets. Are you getting a campervan in Australia? Do you look like Max and Paddy?

I read the news of the world article online about Kimbolton Av. I particularly like the bit along the lines of "With the upturned dustbins and burnt out cars, Kimbolton Avenue is a picture of Blair's Britain". I don't know how we survived.

im also very excited about cock-soc. im gonna get battered and put my c*** in a sock! hahaha not really.

but i am well excited. ive got money to burn!!! well i havent really cos i gotta give most of it to my mum but still im gonna have FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!

peter wrote the ebst evr cover letter today for a wicked new job. here it is in full:

To Mr Barwick,
After hearing the news that Big Phil Scolari is on the brink of becoming the
new England Manager after the forthcoming World Cup I had a fantastic idea.
I've heard from various sources that Mr Scolari is not that great at English
and being English born and bred I am indeed great at English. At GCSE I obtained
an A grade for both Literature and Language (results speak for themselves).
Furthermore my mother, Iara, is Brazilian. The language spoken in Brazil is
Portuguese as I'm sure you know. Being partly Brazilian my mother thought it a
good idea to teach me Portuguese from an early age and after recently spending 6
months in Brazil, a lot of the time by myself, I am now pretty much fluent in
the language. I think you can see where I am going...Philip Scolari cannot speak
English but as manager needs to communicate with his team, I, Paulzinho, can
speak both English and Portuguese, thus making the perfect translator for Mr
Philip Scolari. I know this seems like the perfect match, but it does indeed get
better.
My knowledge of the game is second to none. I spend countless hours in bed when
I'm hungover reading teletext, extremely thoroughly. I also read the football
news on the internet. Added to this I have had quite a successful career in
football starting off as goalie for my local team and then as I grew older and
started to get to know the game better I ventured outfield. The highlight of my
career was undoubtedly playing for "Worsley's got guns" at Powerleague in
Nottingham as the target man. My hold up play is exemplary. As you can
appreciate my knowledge of the game cannot be questioned. This married with my
linguistic talent would make me the ideal candidate for Philip Scolari's
translator/first team coach.
Finally, if you are worried about my communication skills don't be. My friends
call me the funlord, I am extremely sociable and I can talk to anyone. I also
have a huge shlong.
This is a serious application for a job that is without doubt essential to
England's future prospects in major championships. Without me how will Phil
speak to his players? I look forward to your response. Lets make this happen!
Yours sincerely,
Paulzinho

im still supporting brasil though!

Sho, i will see you and the mighty football jamesh at the lane, i challenge you both to an arm wreshtle, the winner gets to have dinner with my brother Dick!

Hello maaates. I thought i should reveal that i am the f***in nuts joke person, although like a typical d*** head i forgot to type my name! I am also heading up to nottingham for some coc soc fun but only after watching the mighty spurs at the lane! im so jealous! looks like im not gonna get to go travelling for a while! oh well ill have to make do with the sights of bedford. Laters xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

also me n dan are goin cyprus lilo window shopping on friday night!! we are both TOO excited about cyprus its by far the main topic of conversation to and from tenarse/football matches/training. "Charis, can we watch the football in ur pub??" Charis replies "yeeeeeeeeees". "...Charis...you've poured us 10 drinks. wheres the football??" Charis responds "...yeeeeeeeees" "Charis do u take it up the bum??" Charis: "yeeeeeeeeees" Wooooohoooo not long until we see Charis!! and big t*** 10/10 girl, i forget her name...natalie?? 8------- i wonder if the hunchback has boned her yet??probably, he is charming. im jst typin what im thinkin, must stop. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx