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Yesterday we waited around the jetty in la Digue, as it aproached we could hear its distinctive engine, it was full of tourists. We knew as we stood watching them unload that retarded people, these are people who you may not normally refer to as retarded but simply my own use of the word is to describe those who do not comply with my rule of courtesy, dignity and respect. Those who fail to comply with such simple human attributes fall into my retard category and unfortunately many do. Quite simply put, if there was a disaster and the people around you would rather trample you for their own safety, they are retards! So, as the retards started to push their way forwards to get on to the ferry (bear in mind here, plenty room for everyone), my wife spotted an opportunity to get on without delay. So those pushing forward, a big f*** you!
So we sailed to Praslin, picked up by Masons again and off to Constance Lemuria.
The journey to the resort was again informative by the masons driver, we discussed Sharks and other natural inhabitants of Praslin. Upon arrival we were greeted warmly by staff then ushered to the main reception were a VERY warm welcome, almost celebrity was given.
A very chirpy gay man welcomed us to the resort, I am not being prejudice there, he was quite obviously gay and I have no issue with that. He made us feel very welcome.
In true constance style, a very thorough induction to the resort was offered. Our room wasn't ready yet so we ventured into the beach and ate at the Takamaka bar. Stunning food but by Christ, expensive. Steph asked the young waiter a few questions regarding the shark net as we watched beach goers swim, snorkellers snorkel and kyackers kyack off over the shark net. I've tempted death too many times with dangerous animals, a shark attack I think I'll give a miss. The young man was polite and very smiley. Good lad!
We were then shown to our room Wow!!!!!! Just amazing!!!!!! A balcony over looking the Indian ocean!!!!! Straight away I spot geckos and skinks.
The place is a paradise, so far the best hotel and experience. I'll always have a soft spot for Ephilia as I got married there but this place is stunning.
Last night we ate at the buffet, the food was again in true constance style, second to non! It started raining but who cares, we're in paradise.
Today, breakfast was awesome, literally awesome. We decided to go for a walk around the grounds, totally amazing.
We enquired about the golf but when I heard the sound thousand I shut off, went into Tom land and walked away. It would be amazing to play but im really not that arsed about hitting a tiny ball around a grassy area for even small amounts of money so a hundred euro plus, they can go f@ck spiders. Those of you who enjoy a game of golf and pay hundreds of pounds in membership fees, go for it, you'll love it! But food for thought, while your using a metal stick, tw@tting a tiny ball towards your goal, ask yourself 'wtf am I doing?'. I ask myself that daily! If my life gets so bad that I have to resort to filling my days with skilfully selecting which piece of metal stick would be better to hit the ball with, I may have to consider suicide! I have nothing against the game or those who play it (just sitting on the fence now) but I think it spoils a good walk. Golf is a great game to play if you're having an affair because let's face it, your wife will just think you're off doing your thing with your mates and the lie you tell isn't so much of a lie because you really are off to put something in a hole which will involve a kind of stick and balls. If you're late home you can always say, you did it twice or that you struggled getting it in the hole. Perfect!
We are now sat on our balcony, sipping wine awaiting dinner listening to the ocean waves crashing into the beach.
The Seychelles, what a place to spend your honeymoon! I never wanted to get married and never want to do it again but unlike marriage, I do want to come here again! I've got everything I need now, my Wife who is my soulmate, my parents who constantly get me out of the s***, my family who really surprised me with their support of our marriage and our little boy, my Son, Jake Thomas Saul Bridge, wherever he may be right now, I hope he's ok! I'll never forget seeing a secret video he made saying 'I miss you Dad, wherever you are'.
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