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My Camino Journey
So I am currently on the second stint of my flight home, the longest one of 14 hours from Doha to Melbourne. I am trying everything to stay awake so that when I get home Friday night I am exhausted and will sleep well into Saturday. The flight home has given me lots of time to reflect on the last 6 weeks, which overall has been an amazing experience for me. When I originally decided to walk the Camino I wasn't even sure I would make the distance and initially was scared to even tell people or even admit it was something that I wanted to do. I now know that feeling came from a place of fear, fear of failure, fear of not being capable, and fear of embarrassment if I didn't finish. As the time got closer and more people knew about what I was planning to do the fear morphed into determination which was fuelled by every single person that encouraged me and had faith in my ability to be able to do what I had planned. I have had many people ask me why I wanted to walk 700km in a foreign country were I can't speak the language, and for the most part I would say it was a physical challenge to push my limits, which in part was true, but for a few who really know me they knew as well as I did that this trip was more than just a physical challenge. This 700km was going to take me out of my comfort zone and really see what I am capable of both physically and more important mentally. and if I'm honest just making it to Spain was an achievement for me, I have never travelled overseas on my own and for the most part of my life allowed others to make the decisions and I just follow along. When I finished walking on that first day I thought I had made a huge mistake... It was so hot and I didn't make the distance I thought I would, I was alone and I lay in bed that night and cried myself to sleep thinking I would never make it to the end of that week let alone 6 weeks.... but then I remembered Someone told me ones that no matter how bad your day is, the sun will always rise tomorrow and life moves forward, so on day 2 I just got up and walked again and for the first week that routine is what kept me going, I enjoyed every day but every day also came with it challenges. As the days turned in to weeks the walking part got easier, I became more confident in my own ability and I was then able to open up to other people who were also on their own Camino journey. This is when I really started feeling the gift that is the Camino, talking to others who where on the same physically path as me but had their own unique reason was an amazing experience. In my life I tend to always move conversations back to other people rather than myself so I don't have to share to much of myself, but Bert the Dutch man was on to that and wasn't satisfied with my reason for doing the Camino as a physical challenge and in a conversation that even took me by surprise I opened up to him and told him many things I wouldn't normally share with a stranger and even ended up crying with him. I am not sure that Bert realised how much that conversation actually met to me but that was the first pivotal moment in my Camino journey that I will hold dearly in my heart. From that moment everything became a little easier, I realised that I wasn't really alone and like many others I to was carrying emotional baggage along with my physical baggage. As the weeks went on and I met more people and built some really good friendships I felt this relaxed feeling that life was falling back into place for me and the panic and anxiety that I normally felt had all but disappeared. Now that I am on my way back home I am really looking forward to what lies ahead for me and feel confident that I can navigate whatever life throws my way. Some people may think that I have changed, and maybe in someways I have, but I can now say that I am not so scared of change and pushing my boundaries, I know I am a capable human being that still has a lot to learn but also a lot to share. I also just want to thank everyone that has supported me while I have been on this journey, I am not sure you truly know how much you helped me, on the hard days your encouragement kept me going and helped fight of the self doubt that would build in my head and on the good day when I would post something funny that had happened or something I was proud of, your comments continued to put a smile on my face. I am also very grateful for this Blog, it has enabled me a place to share everything with you along the way and I have been blown away by how many people have read it and commented on posts and said how they are loving reading about my trip. I never thought that it would be something that people would actually look forward to reading but I am extremely grateful that it was. I guess now the only thing to figure out is what I am going to do for my next holiday....... Any suggestions????
- comments
Nina Finally had a chance to read your ending! Super proud of you babe, xo
Lee Botte Fantastic effort Jess. What an amazing achievement. Sooooo impressed. Thank you for sharing your journey x