Well, hello there everyone!

As you have probably already noticed, I am writing this in small letters, not capitals, and I will even shove in a couple of paragraph breaks this time.  Few folk have been moaning at me.  Anyways....

So much has changed since I last wrote.  Where do I begin? 

Flat

Ok, we moved out of the flat that we were originally in.  We were paying between us $270 for 2 rooms, that's all we got, and we were made to empty their fricken dishwasher.  We decided we were moving out, and they started being really weird with us.  When we finally did move out, the sour faced people that they are scammed half our bond off us.  They charged fan $42 to 'repair the damage' to a cupboard door.  Do you know what the 'damage' was?!  A tiny bit of paint had come off the door when she took off her photo from it.  Get a life.  They also accused me of being a stupid and selfish girl.  Why?  Cos I apparently left the heater on, faced it to my bed, and left the flat.  (i never left it on by the way!), but they started to say that I did it on purpose and tried to burn the whole place down and basically tried to kill them.  God, what a story.  We went to view a flat which was ok, bitty dodgy, but we were going to take it.  We phoned to say that we were on our way round with the money, and when we got there, he was showing someone else round.  He ended up giving it to them, and I went absolutely mental at him in the street (not like me eh?!) saying that he only gave it to them cos they spoke his language.  Not one of my better days!  But, we found a flat that's absolutely ace, and we're loving it.  Moving on...

Stalker 

Next would be my 'stalker'.  Not exactly a stalker, but it was this guy I started to see while I was over here, and genuinely thought he was a nice guy.  Then I decided I didn't wanna see him one night, and he appeared at our door.  The next night, the same thing happened, but this time he actually tried the door handle.  (Thank God we locked it is all I can say!).  Then he kept sending me heaps of txts and emails etc and then he appeared randomly at the door the following Sunday MORNING to collect a cd.  He's gone away now, but the fact that we had to sit with the lights off for 15 mins till he b*****ed off was not nice......Only happen to me eh?!

Other

We have actually managed to venture out of Christchurch at last!  Went to this place which I canny quite prenounce, Akaroa or something like that.  Anyways, it's about an hour and a half out of Christchurch, and it's absolutely stunning.  I made Dave stop about 90 times so I could take pictures of sheep (honest to God, it's like I've never seen one before!).  He also took us on a wee day trip to Hanmer Springs.  Very hungover, so nothing seemed to be nice, and all we did was moan.  Hanmer is hot rock pools outside, surrounded by mountains.  Very touristy, and full of couples and over priced s***e.  Me and Fan were a bitty worried what everyone must've been thinking of us though - Dave had this Ferret thing growing on his face at the moment, and he looks like a pervert.  Shall put the photo's up so you can see for youself.  Anyways...

We have been to see another concert while we've been here - Pete Murray.  That was really good.  He's massive in Australia, but guessing no one back home has heard of him.  Had to purchase those tickets on my credit card.  Trusty wee credit card.  Only getting used in 'emergencys'.  That's what I keep telling myself anyways!   Another emergency which I use it for is buying the whole world a pie or a round of drinks when we are out.  I have money coming out my ass apparently, so why not?!  As Fan keeps saying: 'We're on our holidays Jen".  Too true Fan. 

Nights out 

Getting on to our infamous nights out.  Well, it wouldn't be me and Fan if there weren't a few stories to tell!  We don't actually have many mates here (sob sob!), so there aren't as many stories as there normally are though!  The classic one would have to be the toliet night.... Me and Fan went out, and bumped into this guy that we were talking to the week before (surprisingly enough, Fan liked him!).  Anyways, he invited us downstairs to this other pub where he had free drink cos he use to work there.  We were having a few shots (although Fan only remembers having 1!), and then mate Dave called to say he was outside.  I went out to meet him, and left Fanny to her own devices.  4 hours later, still no sign of her, so I presumed that she had gone with this guy.  I left the club, and was walking along when my phone went and it was Fan asking where I was.  I told her, and she said that she was there too.  Couldn't quite piece it together till I realised that the Div had come upstairs to find me, got cosey on the toilets, and fallen asleep for THREE AND A HALF HOURS!!!  God, that makes me laugh so much! 

We also have a pub opposite my work called the Vic and Whale.  Dangerous I tell you.  Me and Fan keep going in with the intention of 'going for one'.  Famous last words.  The fricken place does happy hour 5-7 and again 10-12.  The infamous one that we keep going for is when we find ourselves perched on the edge of the bar, not just for the first happy hour, but right through until the second happy hour has finished.  Damn I hate those 2-4-1's!!!

There is bound to be more stories from nights out, but off the top of my head at the mo, just canny remember them.  I have no doubt phoned some of you though....

Work 

Work has been really good for us since we arrived.  I mentioned in my last update that we work up at the rugby stadium, and we have been working a few other places too.  We were asked by Dave to help him out at a function up at his parents house.  It was cash in hand, so couldn't say no.  Me and Fan got told that it was a leaving party for someone, and it would be a 'piece of piss'.  Hmmm, wasn't at all.  Ended up being for a chef whos partner is one of the most famous chefs in New Zealand, and do you know what they had us doing?  Fricken cooking stuff and plating it.  2 experienced Chefs employ 2 retards from Scotland to serve up a 7 course meal.  Why oh Why?  The funnies thing that happened this time though, was the 'green bean incident'.  I nearly wet myself, literally.  Anyways, the lady that was having the party (the chef, with the famous chef), came through to check on us.  Fan was in charge of putting the green beans on the plate (simple enough job, you would think?!).  Anyways, the chef came in and decided that there were a few beans short on just one of the plates.  She said: 'has anyone got any beans left?", and Fan came rushing round the corner, so happy with herself, proclaiming: 'I've got some'.  Chef said: 'Perfect, we just need them on this plate, and everything will be perfect'.  What did Fan do?  Drop the fricken things on the floor before she got to the plate!!!  That was SO funny, but perhaps one of those 'had to be there moments'.  Just a Fanny thing to do really!

Fan got herself sorted on a job, had her own email address and everything!  Do you know what her job title was?  Insolvency Support Officer.  That makes me laugh too, cos her main job was to fold letters!  Me on the other hand, had to part with the Sally Army and my tamberine, and got a 9-5 job working in a Property Management company.  All I was employed to do was file and stick stickers on folders.  Really using me to the best of my ability I would say!

Now

Well, this update is only meant to be a short one, letting everyone know what I have been up to, but as per usual, I have slevered s***e and most folk have now fallen asleep no doubt.  Anyways, we have left Christchurch now (last Saturday actually), and where are we?  A fricken Army Camp.  An Army Camp?  God, we haven't even been here a week, but already there are heaps of stories.  Shall fill you in later though.  When we got asked if we wanted to go, we weren't too sure.  Recruitment Agency said: What have you got to lose?  We fly you to the North Island, fly you back, you don't pay for accommodation, and every single meal is included.  We still weren't too sure about it till we told Dave and he said: 'Lots of men and cheap booze'.  Me and Fan were on the next flight!!!  

Anyways, I best get going now.  Think I have missed out a whole heap of stuff, but head is up my bum, so no change there then!  Keep in touch everyone, let me know how you are. 

Miss you all heaps

Me xXx

P.S - here are a few more of our funny quotes so far.......:

Funny quotes the past few months:

* Fan spent the whole night talking to this guy, and left the club with him.  Everyone thought she was in there, when the guy turns round in the taxi rank and says: 'I'm just away to phone my girlfriend'.!!!!

* Fan: I hate pracilla prescot, she's so annoying.  Me: WHO?  Fan: Pracilla Prescot..... (took a while to realise that it was Lisa Marie Presley......!)

* Fan: I wonder what snakes on a plane is about Jen......(hmmmm, I wonder Fan?!)

* Me playing pool: What colour are we?  Spots?!  (cos 'spots is totally a colour Jenny.....!)

* Fan: Is it buy one get one free yeah?  Barman: No, it's 2 for 1.....

* (after I gave a girlie at work a Minstrel, she said:) They're just like giant smarties.  Me: How can they be, smarties are tiny.  Jane: I know, that's why I said GIANT!

* Fan: Jen, do you know that if I was to stay in this job for a whole year, I'd only get $6000NZD the whole time.  Me: How the hell is that?  Fan: Well, $470 a week X 12.......

Me: God, that wee boy has really long legs.  Dave: He is wearing skates you know.  (and...?!)

Me: God, this place would look really nice in the dark.  Well, not in the dark, just at night time....

Fan: (talking to a girl called Sarah from England about phone networks): Do you get O2 in England?   Sarah: Yeah, of course.  Fan: Well, I wasn't sure like, cos O2 use to be BRITISH Telecom...... (Is England not included in Britain these days?!)