HEY HEY HEY FROM RAINY NEW ZEALAND! WELL, WE HAVE ARRIVED SAFE AND SOUND HERE. WE ARE STAYING IN CHRISTCHURCH AT THE MOMENT, IN THE SOUTH ISLAND, WITH A COUPLE WHO WE MET OVER THE INTERNET (SOUNDS DODGY BUT THEY'RE LOVELY!). I HAVE THE DOUBLE ROOM AND FANNY HAS A TWIN ROOM WITH A TELLY. FAIR DEAL I THINK! WHERE WE ARE STAYING IS IN A NICE AREA (WELL, NO CRIME OUTSIDE OUR DOOR AS YET!), AND THE COUPLE (LAURIE AND ANDREW), HAVE 2 DOGGIES WHO ARE ACE. HEINEKEN AND BROOKLYN. AWWW! CHRISTCHURCH ITSELF IS VERY HOMELY (I DO BELIEVE I SAID THAT ABOUT CAIRNS WHEN WE FIRST LANDED THERE, SO WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES!). TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF BACK HOME. SLIGHT CHANGE IN TEMPERATURE WHICH WE HAVE HAD TO GET USE TO. AFTER SPENDING THE PAST 5 MONTHS WITH SWEAT DRIPPING OFF US AND HARDLY WEARING ANY CLOTHES, WE LAND IN A PLACE THAT IS PRACTICALLY IN MINUS FIGURES ALL THE TIME, AND HAVE HAD TO GO OUT AND BUY OURSELVES WOOLY JUMPERS AND JACKETS!!! BUT, I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT SCOTLAND AT THE MOMENT IS HAVING THE BEST WEATHER THEY HAVE HAD SINCE 1911. TYPICAL SEEING NEW ZEALAND IS HAVING THEIR WORST WINTER IN YEARS. DOES BAD LUCK JUST FOLLOW US OR WHAT?! SO, WE HAVE BOTH MANAGED TO FIND OURSELVES SOME WORK WHICH IS GOOD. I THINK ON THE SECOND DAY WE ARRIVED WE WENT OUT TO WHAT SEEMED LIKE 56 RECRUITMENT AGENCIES (BUT IT WAS ONLY 4!), AND SIGNED UP. WE WALKED INTO ONE OF THEM AND ASKED THE RECEPTIONIST IF WE COULD HAND IN OUR CV, AND SHE TURNED ROUND AND SAID: 'ARE YOU FREE ON SATURDAY'? POOP! WE WERE SO EXCITED, AND IT TURNED OUT THAT THEY NEEDED US TO WORK ON THE FRIDAY AND THE SATURDAY. AND, ON THE SATURDAY WE WERE WORKING AT THE ALL BLACKS VERSUS AUSTRALIA GAME. MY GOD THAT WAS COOL! WHAT A SKIVE IT WAS THOUGH, COS OUR BOSS DAVE ENDED UP NOT CARING ABOUT WHAT WE DID AS LONG AS WE TOOK THE FOOD OUT TO THE TABLES, SO WE GOT TO WATCH MOST OF THE GAME FOR NOTHING! SAW THE ALL BLACKS DOING THE HAKKA TOO WHICH WAS AMAZING. WHAT AN ATMOSPHERE! I READ SOMEWHERE THAT THE TWO TEAMS HAVE ONLY PLAYED AGAINST EACH OTHER TWICE IN 100 YEARS IN CHRISTCHURCH, SO I THINK WE WERE PRETTY DAMN LUCKY! ANYWAYS, THAT RECRUITMENT AGENCY THAT GAVE US THE WORK THAT WEEKEND HAVE BEEN THE ONLY b*****S TO GET IN CONTACT WITH US AT ALL. FANNY WAS WORKING FOR A PIZZA SHOPPY ALL LAST WEEK, AND I'VE BEEN DOING SOME OFFICE WORK FOR THE SALVATION ARMY. MY MUM KEEPS SAYING THAT THEY ARE PUTTING IN A COLLECTION FOR ME TO GET MY TAMBOURINE ON THE GO, BUT I KEEP TELLING HER THAT AT LEAST I AM MAKING MONEY! THE JOB IS REALLY REALLY EASY, AND THE PHONE GOES ABOUT ONCE EVERY TWO HOURS, AND NOW AND AGAIN I HAVE A BIT OF TYPING TO DO AND THAT'S IT! ALSO GETTING WORK AT NIGHT DOING FUNCTIONS AND THINGS WHICH IS ALWAYS GOOD. THE WAGES OVER HERE ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO BAD. BUT THEN AGAIN, THE COST OF LIVING IS SO MUCH CHEAPER. WORKING IN HOSPITALITY, WE GET $11 AND HOUR, AND AFTER TAX, IT MEANS THAT WE ARE GETTING SOMETHING LIKE UNDER 3 QUID AN HOUR WHICH IS RIDICULOUS. THEN AGAIN, WE CAN GET A FISH SUPPER HERE (A HUGE PORTION MAY I JUST ADD), FOR $3 WHICH IS A QUID. A QUID! CANNY SAY YOU CAN GET A FISH SUPPER FOR THAT PRICE BACK HOME EH? WEE BARGAIN! SHOPPING IN THE SUPERMARKET IS SO MUCH CHEAPER TOO - FANNY IS EXTREMELY IMPRESSED THAT THEY SELL 99C LOAFS OF BREAD, AND I GOT EXCITED WHEN I SAW THAT THEY SOLD 12 CORONA'S FOR $20. (AYE CORONA). NICE TO SEE THAT WE HAVE OUR PRIORITES SORTED OUT. HA, THAT REMINDS ME OF PRIORITES - WE WERE WALKING HOME ONE DAY AFTER A BIG SHOP, LADEN WITH BAGS, AND I TURN ROUND AND FANNY HAS DISAPPEARED. 2 SECS LATER SHE APPEARS AGAIN OUT OF A SHOP SHAKING HER HEAD MUTTERING SOMETHING ABOUT A DOLLAR PIE. THE FOOL AHD NOTICED THE SIGN THAT SAID "$1 HOT PIES", SO SHE BOMBED IN AND CAME OUT SAYING "OCH JEN, IT'S NOT 24 HOURS. I WAS THINKING WHEN WE WERE PISHED WALKING HOME......". WHAT A GIRL! TALKING ABOUT GETTING PISHED, WE REALLY HAVEN'T BEEN OUT MUCH. I DO BELIEVE THAT 4 TIMES IN 3 WEEKS IS VERY VERY GOOD FOR US!!! THE FIRST NIGHT WE WENT OUT WAS REALLY FUNNY, AND WE HAD OUR 'LOCAL' SORTED - THE BARMAN WAS GIVING US FREE SHOTS. PROB COS HE WAS RELIEVED TO SEE SOME PEOPLE - A MONDAY NIGHT, AND WE WERE IN THE 'PLACE TO BE' WHICH HAD ABOUT 8 PEOPLE IN IT. OH DEAR (YUP, CHRISTCHURCH DOESN'T REALLY COME ALIVE TILL THURSDAY!). WE STILL MANAGED TO FIND A PARTY THOUGH, JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE IN THIS REALLY DODGY AREA (BUT DIDN'T FIND OUT ABOUT THAT TIL AFTER!). BUT, WE'RE STILL IN ONE PIECE SO COULDN'T HAVE BEEN TOO BAD! THE SECOND NIGHT WE WENT OUT WE HAD A FAIR AMOUNT OF WINE BEFORE HEADING INTO TOWN. WE GOT A LIFT IN, AND GOT DROPPED OFF AT THIS IRISH PUB CALLED SULLIVANS. IT'S REALLY GOOD THERE ACTUALLY! THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE OUR NEW LOCAL, BUT ALL THE BAR STAFF ARE FEMALE SO MAYBE NOT......! WE THEN WENT NEXT DOOR TO THIS PLACE CALLES SHOOTERS, WHICH WE ENDED UP CHATTING UP THE BOUNCER AND WE GOT TO JUMP THE Q (ADVANTAGES OF BEING A WOMAN I TELL YA....!) ON THE WAY PAST THE BOUNCER, FANNY SAYS 'THANKS RYAN, OH YOUR NAME IS RYAN TOO, SO IS YOURS". WAS SO FUNNY COS 'RYAN' IS THE NAME OF THE SECURITY COMPANY AND NOT THEIR ACTUAL NAMES!!! WE ALSO FOUND OUT IN THIS BAR THAT WE LOVE THIS COUNTRY! THEY HAD A SIGH SAYING 'DOUBLES ARE SERVED HERE UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED". WOW! NOT MUCH HAPPENED THAT NIGHT.... ANOTHER NIGHT OUT WE FOUND A BOTTLE OF VODKA FOR $8, AND POLISHED OFF MOST OF IT BEFORE HEADING OUT. WENT TO AN IRISH PUB AGAIN WHERE FANNY IS CONVINCED SHE IS GOING TO MARRY THE GUY THAT PLAYS THIS MASSIVE VIOLIN THING (NICK-NAMED V-BOY?!). WE WENT NEXT DOOR AGAIN TO SHOOTERS, AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL WENT WRONG. I HAD A REALLY REALLY SORE TOE (WHICH I WENT TO SEE ABOUT AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE INGROWING AND SET ME BACK $270 TO GET IT TAKEN OUT - RIP OFF!). ANYWAYS, THIS COUPLE ON THE DANCE FLOOR KEPT BANGING INTO ME AND FANNY. WE KEPT MOVING AWAY, AND THEY KEPT FOLLOWING US. I WAS SCARED THAT THE ARSE WAS GONNA STAND ON MY TOE, SO I GAVE HIM A WEE SHOVE (JUST A WEE SHOVE MIND!), AND IT JUST SO HAPPENED THAT THE BOUNCER WALKED PAST AT THAT MOMENT. HE TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER AND ASKED US TO LEAVE. WHAT THE HECK?! HE ESCORTED US OUT THE PLACE TOO. I BARELY HAD TIME TO PUT MY JACKET ON HE WAS THAT FAR UP MY BACKSIDE! SO, UNDETERRED, WE WENT BACK TO THE IRISH PUB WHERE FANNY DROOLED ALL OVER V-BOY AND A HUGE FIGHT BROKE OUT BETWEEN THE SINGER OF THE BAND AND A MAN WEARING A DRESS AND A HUGE BLONDE WIG?! TROUBLE DOES SEEM TO FOLLOW US EH?! OUR LAST NIGHT OUT ENDED UP BEING ON SATURDAY AT A HOUSE PARTY (OUR BOSS DAVE THAT I MENTIONED EARLIER). WHAT A LAUGH WE HAD THERE! KNOWN AS 'THE 2 CRAZY SCOTTISH GIRLS" TO EVERYONE. GUTTED! ENDED UP WITH ANOTHER CASK OF WINE (WHY BREAK TRADITION?!), AND IT'S PROBABLY FAIR TO SAY THAT WE FINISHED IT OFF. HOLY MOLY! MAYBE THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY FANNY'S BEST MATE BECAME THE TOILET SEAT, AND THE SINK, AND THE PAVEMENT. NICE! ANYWAYS, THAT'S ABOUT ALL THAT I HAVE TO REPORT ON AT THE MOMENT. NOT BEEN ANYWHERE AROUND THE AREA YET AS TRYING TO WORK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE FIRST OF ALL, THEN WE PLAN TO DO SOME TRAVELLING. HOPE YOU ARE ALL DANDY, MISSING YOU ALL HEAPS. LOVE YA LOADS. ME xXx FUNNY QUOTES SO FAR: * Me: Katrina, what is it Jo does again for a living? Katrina: She works in the renal department of the hospital. Fanny: Yeah, she works with bums all day... Katrina: No fanny, that's anal!!!!!!!!!! * Playing a game where you have to draw what is on the card, and the other person has to guess. Fanny drew an arrow pointing North, and a Light. I got North and Light, and Fanny said "you're close, keep guessing", so then I come out with "Light House". Brain had totally gone from me, and never even thought that the answer could be Northern Lights!!! (DUH!) * Playing another game where you get a letter, and some subjects, and you have to write down the subjects being with that letter. The letter was M, and the subject was Dairy Products. Obvious answer for any normal person would be Milk, but what do I write? Moo?!!!!!! HELP ME! * Fanny was housekeeping, and she was bending down to make a bed and heard a slight rip. She never thought anything of it till about 4 rooms later, she looked behind her in the mirror and said "holy s***e, that's my arse". HA HA HA! * Fanny: I don't like ginger cats. Well, they're ok when they're puppies?!!!! * Fanny: I let out this fart that I thought was going to be silent, but it wasn't. Then I kept laughing and all these little ones kept coming out". DELIGHTFUL FAN!!!