Unfortunately, none of the stores in the mall below the twin towers sold fish hooks in any sort of quantity that would be worthy of a record breaking attempt. I gesticulated to a guy, who misunderstood and ended up bringing me what appeared to be two genetically enhanced prawns who had been allowed to swim in steroids and growth hormone solution since their birth (or hatching, whatever prawns do to enter this world). I have attached the picture of the creatures for your perusal.

After consuming these leviathans, and feeling rather proud of myself, I attempted the noodles. I know I promised I wouldn't simply tell you what I had for lunch, etc. but the back of my throat is now missing. If I eat now, it just goes right through my throat and onto the floor behind me. I believe that these noodles were sent to me as a test from God, to see if my tolerance of astronomical levels of spice would make me a better human. I'd like to think it did. Less throat, more human. I feel there is a certain poetic justice about that.

We then headed out to China Town on the tube. A return trip cost about £1.30 for two people. At that price, I was a little apprehensive that I misunderstood, and something terrible would arrive instead of a train (I hadn't decided what that could be yet, but my imagination took me all kinds of places on this one). Ultimately a train arrived - not a bad one at that. I won't bore you into what happened next. I will leave you to summise it after you see how the next paragraph starts...

China Town was a cacophony of sounds and smells, and a bizarre number of people who thought I needed to buy DVDs. The market was full of knock off goods and street food. We bought some fresh fruit and a giant coconut (yes, I too had to check whether coconut fell under the category of fruit - is it a nut? is it a fruit? is it both?). My wife managed to negotiate a deal on a Kath Kidson fake bag. I felt kind of bad, because apparently we managed to buy the bag at such a price that he made a loss and would have to close down his entire operation. I'm sure nobody would lie or exaggerate about something like that.

We had a leisurely walk in the warm tropical rain back to the hotel, rounding off a rather lovely 2nd wedding anniversary.

Coming up in my next blog:

- I explain how to spot the difference between a real and fake market bag