Profile
Blog
Photos
Videos
Dear those who are lucky enough to receive this email...this is my latest inspiration, hope you like it. For those that have traveled you are possibly more likely to understand :)
Goon. A popular substance from the land of Oz used not only for drinking but also for complete annihilation of the soul. It can be found in 2 colours, red and white, and lives inside a a silver bag which hides its cheap interior. One would generally think a Goon Bags life is a short but sweet one. Always the star of the show at parties, it gets to meet lots of interesting people as well as cause many humorous incidents that get recorded in journals the world over.
This is not the case.
In fact one could say that the Goon Bag is probably the saddest soul at the party. Perhaps apart from the girl who's latest beau hasn't replied to a text message or the call centre employee who has to get up at 5am the next day to sell peanuts to overgrown dwarves.
For one the Goon Bag's life is short, especially when it ends up in a backpackers hostel on a Friday night. It is also quite lonely as it never really gets to make any worthwhile relationships with its owners generally being passed on from person to person like the first stolen cigarette smoked by a group of 13 year old girls.
So with a short and lonely life it then has to deal with its reputation for being the route of anything bad that happens to the drinker from falling asleep naked in a drunken stupor on the toilet to waking up with your room mate asleep next to you thinking ' Did we?...Didn't we? and if we did is everyone else in the room really pissed off?'
But to top it off once it has seen the inside of everyone's throats at least ten times and then been bruised and battered from being thrown about. It then gets abandoned, a few drops left, to a slow death in the corner of a room knowing that the final climax will be when the cleaner picks it up, places it in a black bag which will eventually be crushed at a rubbish disposal unit in the middle of the outback.
Sometimes the Goon Bag does get a break for instance if the owners are extra kind they will drink every last drop therefore causing a somewhat less painful death. It also occasionally gets blown up and used as a pillow for a few days, especially when it ends up at a camp site, but generally its life is crap.
As you can tell this story does not have a happy ending so in conclusion next time you are offered to drink goon. Remember maybe spend a bit more time with it, throw it around less and if you dare make sure every last drop is gone so you know that it wont end it's life surrounded by flies and dirty nappies. If you are having a bad day and are feeling like s*** remember your life will never be as tragic as that of the mighty Goon!
- comments