...yup, turns out our next stop was Ko Samui after all. We said goodbye to our new found traveling friends from the past 72 hours and hopped aboard a ferry, never to return. By this point, I was getting pretty fed up of lugging my huge rucksack around (it weighs, like, twice as much as me!) so upon our arrival I dumped my bag and went to the beach for a Thai massage! Cost me less than a fiver, lasted an hour, the lady didn't try and touch me up, and all the while looking out at the sea! And then I had a lolly afterwards! It was yummy! What a perfect way to end a perfect afternoon.

...meanwhile, in Luke World...
Luke decided that massages weren't for him. Oh no! Instead, he decided to go and watch some Thai Kickboxing - the climax of which, he tells me, involved an English man kicking a Thai man in the head and knocking him out within 30 seconds. The way it should be really.

Anyway, we spent one more day there after that, playing on the beach whilst I read another book (it was called Marley & Me - it was rubbish. It went something like this: The writer gets a dog. The dog is naughty. The writer and his family get annoyed at the dog. They vow to give the dog away. The dog heroically redeems himself. The family decide to keep the dog. They all love the dog for many years. The dog gets old. The dog dies. The end. Worth it). Luke also watched some football and I found a funny ladyboy cabaret show. Once we realised that Ko Samui was actually pretty pants, we decided to hotfoot it over to Ko Phi Phi Don- and step on it!

With a quick stopover in Krabbi on the mainland, we got another couple of ferries over to Ko Phi Phi Don. And lo and behold, there was just so much to do! Within minutes, we had booked a trip to go visit The Beach, do some snorkeling, and feed some monkeys! Looking forward to our nice day ahead, we headed for bed early for a much deserved rest. However, it didn't get off to a flying start when I almost stepped on a 2 foot-long lizard (yes another one!), whilst trying to avoid the frogs flying about around us outside our bungalow. Oh well, at least we would be safe inside, right?

Wrong. For this was the night that I Was Attacked By Cockroaches. Well, cockroach. But one was bad enough. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I feel something brushing against my leg and it's only a bloody cockroach isn't it! It's not like you can even try and squish them either 'cos they spray their eggs that way apparently. And so, I leapt up bravely and ran courageously to grab an empty glass that the hotel had so kindly provided (for events such as this I assumed), and then stood waiting for another 15 minutes for it to appear. And appear it did. I just didn't expect it to run straight for me. Thinking quickly, I decided it was best to avoid a direct confrontation with the beast (I wouldn't want to squash it by accident), and jumped back on my bed. At this point, Luke who had been sleeping soundly opened his eyes and I thanked God - hooray, Luke will surely help me capture this evil creature! As he opened his mouth to suggest some ingenious way of survival against the heinous bug, my heart soared in anticipation! Yes, Luke, what is it boy? How best we eradicate this untold threat? What method of capture-and-destroy do you recommend?

"Can you turn the light off please, I'm trying to sleep." And with those words of wisdom, Luke turned over, put his head under his pillow, and left me at the mercy of the dreaded roach. I didn't get much sleep that night.

However, the rising sun signified the dawn of a new day, and with a speed unseen since the glory days of The Flash, we escaped the Bungalow of Terror and went to the pier. Within 40 minutes, we were snorkeling above a coral reef and looking at hundreds of little fishies, barely centimeters from our face! We even saw an angel fish! There was also a little cave that the tour guides mentioned we might want to go through, but what with the waves being choppy, we thought we would save our energy for when we got to "The Beach"!

Hang on? You're telling us in broken English that through that little cave, that there was "The Beach"? And we can't go back there? And we can't go around to the ACTUAL beach because the sea is too choppy today? What do you mean 'choppy'? Is that even a word? And you didn't think to tell us this until after we had left the little cave area? Oh well, at least we still have Monkey Island to look forward to...Hang on? You're saying we can't go to Monkey Island? The sea is too choppy? Oh now you're just pulling my leg...

Yes our Curse had struck once again. But it wasn't all bad. Instead of The Beach and Monkey Island, we instead got to spend extra time doing some canoeing in the most beautiful bay in the world, completely cut off from the rest of the world and spotlessly clean and clear waters. We then went to Bamboo Island (we don't know where the name comes from as we didn't see any bamboo) which had the softest sand we had ever seen - we sunk about 3 inches with every step we took! This was followed up by a trip to Monkey Beach (no island, but still, it had monkeys!) where we met the monkeys and watched them bite some fat Americans. Hooray for the monkeys! Everyone's monkeying around, etc.

And thus, that was the end of our boat trip. Disappointed to the extreme that we hadn't seen The Beach, we decided to cheer ourselves up. I suggested we get bamboo tattoos. Luke was a bit unsure. I got a bamboo tattoo on my arm of a nice little star. I pretended it didn't hurt at all. Luke was convinced. He got a tattoo on his ankle of a little gecko. He was surprised by the pain. It was minimal though, and no bleeding whatsoever! And we could go in the sea the next day! And took about half an hour! And was really cheap! And the tattoo lady told us her Tsunami stories and about how all the Thai people hate the Prince (the monarch's son, not the singer) but love the King (once again, not the singer)! All in all a cultural experience to be proud of! Hooray! And with our new works of art to inspire us, we decided that we WOULD go to The Beach! So the next day, we once again got up bright and early, hired a long boat and quick as a flash, we were at the murky watered, rubbish strewn paradise known as...hang on? Did I say rubbish strewn and murky watered? That's right, although to be fair the impressive view and nice soft sand made up for it. Plus it was "The Beach" so I could pretend to be Leonardo DiCaprio - I even did a Sarf Efricen accent...oh no wait, that's Blood Diamond...anyway...

We soon left The Beach (aka Maya Bay) and decided another trip to Monkey Beach was in order - this time with our cameras and a bunch of bananas in tow. Luke was a bit wary of feeding them in case he got rabies, but after I let one (called Esther) climb up my head I think he realised no danger was imminent - for us anyway. The stupid foreigners were back, this time poking the monkeys with branches and blowing raspberries at them. The monkeys knew how to put a stop to that though; quick as a flash, the daddy monkey pushed past little Esther and bit one of the foreigners on the foot, resulting in 5 long weeks of painful, daily rabies injections and no more branch poking!

After laughing at the monkey biting, we said goodbye to our simian friends, and to the Tsunami zone of Ko Phi Phi, and headed off to our next destination of Ko Lanta. We soon bored of this dull little island with it's smelly beach and no shops or markets, and decided that maybe - just maybe - that Ko Lanta wasn't the problem. Maybe it was us that was bored of Thailand? Straight away, we knew what we needed to do: we would go to Malaysia! Kuala Lumpar in fact! With it's indoor amusement parks, shops full of Japanese figures and toys (not to mention old school He-Man and Thundercat stuff), and hostels with a view of the World's Tallest Building (TM), we knew instantly we could never get bored there! For a few days at least. And so, we set off on our 15 and a half hour bus journey across the border, and arrived late last night in our hostel with a view of The World's Tallest Building (TM), before heading to the indoor amusement park and shops full of Japanese goodies today. As for tomorrow? Well tomorrow, is but another day and until then, I've had enough free internet for one night.

Love from Chris and Luke x x x x x x