A wonderful and intense experience came to an end…

…and precious memories that will stay with me forever! Each one of my Varones Grandes has touched me in some way at some stage during my 5 months experience in Casa Guatemala and they will all have a special place in my heart for the rest of my life that's for sure!

Of course, I cannot deny the fact that I had some favourites and that there were some boys, especially five, that I got attached to the most and I think I can say with confidence that they felt the same. With those ones in particular I built a very special relationship and I want to be honest here, it did not start as such…actually, with these ones I had a lot of difficulties in the first couple of months and I would lie if I'd call it a harmonious relationship. I want to explain at this point that these kids, especially the teenagers in Casa Guatemala that have been there for many years, have seen volunteers come and go pretty much all their lives and they do not have one constant figure in their life like most of us do, having a parent and/ or other relatives taking care for us. So they learn quite quickly that it is not the best idea to get too attached to a volunteer knowing that this person would leave any time soon again so what's the point?! Most of the older kids have a 'big wall around them' - a wall protecting themselves from getting to close to someone that will leave again. And you know what, that is totally understandable isn't it?

It was still my aim, however, to take as much care of them as I can, to teach them moral values which they'll need in their future lives when leaving CG, give them some guidance and even act as a counsellor in some cases, try to personally understand them and their behaviour as well as feelings in order to help them improve both their behaviour and attainment, show them that they can rely on me and trust me at any time, demonstrate genuine interest in what they do at all times, try to give them all the same level of attention and most of all give them the love and affection they need , showing how equally important each one of them is. Let me tell you that this wasn't always an easy task with so many boys around with everyone having different needs and wants. But I tried to work on it every single day and both Manuel and I never gave up trying to teach them as many life values as we can day by day, even if that meant that you sometimes felt none of them actually listened to anything you had said the day before. It was so frustrating at times and I am only glad that I had Manuel on my side sharing this intense experience with all its challenges, feelings like being in a roller coaster as well as frustrations and desperation at times. We never gave up and I think I can proudly say that I have seen changes in their behaviour myself; witnessing how they adopted the values we tried to teach them every day trying very hard to work on themselves and their behaviour - really, learning for their future life in the real world!

I want to be honest, there were many moments in CG where I wished I'd be a social worker or had studied psychology instead of business. That would have helped me a lot in understanding my boys better but heh, everyone learns and even though I am not a social worker I think I still have a good sensitivity to others' feelings and that helped me understanding my boys better every day. I can only emphasise at this point how special each one of them is. They are great boys and I feel honoured having had the chance to get to know these wonderful boys better. I will never ever forget the moments when these five boys of mine, in particular, gave me the first deep hug. The last one gave me his first hug after, I think, almost 3 months. This was such a special moment as I knew exactly how much that meant being hugged by a teenager boy that normally doesn't even talk to every volunteer not even to mention that he hardly gets so close to anyone. This hug was a hug that came from the bottom of the heart and I still feel the insensitivity of this hug thinking of it now…still gives me goose bumps!

So I think you can imagine, leaving CG was one of the hardest and toughest things I have done in my life and I will never forget the moment when I was sitting in that boat leaving the dock with my boys and volunteers standing there saying goodbye….never forget the last time I gave each one of the boys a good night kiss and a hug, the last time I wake them up early in the morning, the last time seeing their warm smiles and simply enjoying the moment together with them! Having Saïd on my side made things easier and I was so glad that he was there holding me tight but it still was a heart-breaking moment that I won't forget. The days right after in particular were quite difficult dealing with the whole situation and knowing that I just left the place I have been living in for the last few months - a magical place with many special kids that touched my heart! But everything comes to an end and I can still say that I feel completely satisfied with the experience I had and although it was one of the saddest moments in my life it also was one of the most beautiful ones and I knew that my time in CG was over. Fond memories will always stay with me and for me it is very important to stay in touch with the kids and volunteers that are still there. I will go back to visit my boys making sure that they are still behaving well ;) and I will continue trying to raise funds and support the organisation through sponsorships etc staying connected with CG wherever I can….a wonderful place that touched my life and that will have a place in my heart forever!!!

Thank you to everyone…thank you to my family and boyfriend for their great support and love, to all the donors so far for their kind donations, to everyone who always eagerly anticipated any updates on my website and followed my experience throughout the months, to the volunteers and staff from Casa Guatemala for making it a wonderful experience and helping me whenever needed and most of all thank you to my Varones Grandes - les quiero muchísimo y les echo much de menos!!!

Lots of love,

Wulfy Xxx

For everyone who is interested in watching some videos of CG and the kids pls click on the following you tube links:

Fiesta de cumpleaños

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhtdFlqNgTw

Mis Varones Grandes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_oiAMcMamI

El Día de la Independencia en Guatemala (National Anthem)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPIKUOjNOpI

El Día de la Independencia en Casa Guatemala

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bkrI6egriY

Fiesta en mi casa - casa de Varones Grandes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwVLb9e9MGM

Finca El Paraíso

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6801Bs-A_6I

Dance rehearsal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpOVocxHMT4

Dancing time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQJs_p9yDoM

Dance therapy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXrosWv5hfQ

Capoeira class

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pg_994nPnp4

Final Performance - New Year's Eve in Casa Guatemala

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yf_QW6bV37g

Capoeira Roda - Casa Guatemala

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPVxZqvsXEw

Farewell from my Varones Grandes 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zA50POx2nkk

Farewell from my Varones Grandes 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vy-dghB1F5w