The boat journey to Koh Phi Phi had fantastic scenery of the dark haired 6ft variety if you catch our drift. Docking at the island it was obvious this was more a party destination i.e. young, fit, tanned males everywhere! Within 10 minutes of leaving the boat we had secured ourselves a date with 2 local thai boys, or so they thought hahaha....... There are no cars or roads on Koh Phi Phi, just narrow winding streets lined with shops, bars, restaurants and massage parlours. Thankfully the owner of our guest house greeted us at the dock with a cart to put our backpacks in which she wheeled up to the accommodation for us. On arrival it was clear, after watching us leave the boat, they thought we could do with shifting a few pounds because the room is actually a torture chamber for weight watcher escapees! Sauna doesn't even come close, maybe sweat box covers it. The ensuite bathroom is exactly as sounds. The attached photos will clarify! Suppose we can't be fussy for five pounds a night. We had a few drinks on our first night, had a wander but were fairly civilised. Refreshed the next morning we took a taxi boat to Long Beach. Paradise! We were expecting people to be eating Bountys everywhere! Don't think we've ever lay on a beach with more stunning views. The water was crystal clear and warm. Pissed off yet?!?! The sun goes down very early in Thailand, by 4pm latest. We headed back for our evening sauna sampling some Pad Thai noodles on the way. We looked very classy walking back to Phi Phi Dream (the name of our guest house, hmmmmm) covered in sand and slurping noodles. Having been very well behaved we decided to let our hair down and sample the thai buckets we'd heard so much about. We failed miserably on our first order when we were brought 2 glasses of cocktail instead of the bucket. However after drinking 2 glasses each we realised it was just as well we didn't attempt a bucket as this stuff was "wreck the hoose juice"!!! In the first bar we had our ears chewed by 2 irish guys, nice enough guys if not a little dull. Too many opinions on everything. We bumped them sharpish and headed for Carlito's Bar on the beach. We realised at this point that Koh Phi Phi is the Ozzie's answer to Faliraki i.e. young 20 somethings getting drunk and dancing to the Grease Megamix. Naturally we were the best dancers in the bar so we felt the need to grace the stage with our moves. Not to Grease Megamix we must add! More alcohol was required at this point, the blurred edges needed blurring even more. Clearly we have signs somewhere inviting every "Shareen Nanjiani" in the bar to try and join us. One unsuspecting irish guy stumbled over and asked Lynne to tell his mate he was a geek. Once would have been sufficient but his persistence was rewarded with a very polite "you're a f***ing geek". We made a hasty exit pissing ourselves as his chin hit the ground! Next up the danish acrobat....... After giving us the eye he attempted to swagger over, tripped off the dancefloor and practically landed on Lynne's lap. Ten out of ten for effort he still tried to chat her up. Whilst she was laughing in his face he said "I clearly haven't made a good impression perhaps I should leave?", this was greeted with more laughter and a round of applause. This event was relayed to Lynne over breakfast as her edges were too blurred to remember it! Our stomachs got the better of us en route and we stopped at a sandwich stall. After ordering a hot chicken baguette some german dude tried to get smart with Lyndsay. Not a wise move my friend! Some wise ass comments were made about us jumping the queue, we ignored this but when his cucumber landed on Lyndsay's toe (not by accident!) she politely enquired "did he know the word knob?" a blank look was answered with "well learn it then". More hilarious laughter and yet another hasty exit. Yes, we were back on form!!! As if thoughts of returning to the torture chamber drunk aren't enough we have to run the gauntlet to get there. This involves us headbutting and dodging psychotic BATS!! Much fun as you can imagine. Can you not hear our screams in the UK as these things swoop dangerously close to our heads?! Needless to say breakfast was an after thought this morning. After much groaning, puffing and paracetamol popping we dragged our hung-over asses out of the sweat box to find some much needed rehydration. Realising we were in no fit state to sunbathe today we succumbed to our first sausage and bacon baguette. Having soaked up the majority of the booze and overcome the waves of nausea and fainting we decided we owed it to our adoring public to update you with our latest adventures and photos. We hope you enjoy.