notes from the road: if you follow every dream, you might get lost.

this is a two part notes from the road, since i have several since the last post. authors note: i am currently writing in pai.

part 1: so, sitting out on my bungalo porch, beer in hand, sun setting across the horizon and my neighbor strumming away at 70s classics on his old guitar and i think i may have found a peice of paradise. i could definatly settle down here for a few months, if you call that settling down. and i do. i truly have come to love this place and can hardly believe im actually starting to formulate an exit plan for the next stop on my journey. as guitar george begins playing nowegian wood, a pack of wild dogs chases after a motor scooter out front and night has officially begun. there is a music celebration in town tonight but ill be damned if ive found out how to get there or even what time it starts (i eventually made it). no matter to me though, this is one of those moments when you could truly die and not even feel bad that you didnt get to say goodbye to your mom. so here we are in the years, where the showman shifts the gears, lives become careers, children cry in fear, get us out of here. but not before i finish this beer please. i think i sense a good full meal coming on and cant help but feel like i have no real point to what i am writing about, but just rambling on to try and convey the existence my head belongs to at this very moment for all you veiwers back home. i almost feel sorry that you probably have to get up and go to work tomorrow. maybe not. it could be a weekent or you have the day off, but i think you understand where i am coming from. the days go fast and the nights are long in this place and i have a hard time keeping track of both. no worries though, good times are hard to come by in this day and age. the pure ones anyways. so, i think ill try to enjoy this one for as long as it lets me. come back soon, and dont forget about that fanny pack.

part 2: the truth knows no bounds. and the truth is, i am an a******. ive known it all along, but before i was proud. now i am just ashamed. its hard to try and be like everybody else when i just feel so different. a friend of mine just recently introduced me to a henry david thoreau quote that i completly agree with. "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." its all or nothing. nothing ventured, nothing gained and i always like to go against the grain and not afraid to admit it either. never stop questioning, expecially when things seem fishy. never give in. when its time to move on, its time to get going. only tomorrow knows what it has in store and i can hardly wait to find out.

i do the best with what i am given. it might not be as good as some people. but, everything is relative and in comparison, i truly give much more than most. it just seems like i dont sometimes because i am not capable of doing more where other people are. i am workign on it, but still have a long way to go. one thing is for sure, i never give up on what i truly care about. at least untill it gives up on me. then, its not even worth my time. this life is short and shouldnt be wasted on things that dont give a s*** about you anyways. but, thats just one mans opinion. so they say. dream on, kelly