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Thought i'd share something with you all to brighten up your monday morning. Ive just endured the worst journey of my life, From Hanoi, Vietnam To Vietienne, Lao.
6pm..So low and behold we left Hanoi on a bus where i was unfortunately placed next to a Canadian who wouldn't shut up.. I ended up just putting my ipod on and completely ignored him.. he looked upset but i think he got the picture... I started to get wary when i realised the bus was going down the vietnamese coast to Hue, but when i asked the driver he said 'everyfin ish fine, i wiwl tewel yoo wen to get ofsh'.
By 3am, i was dumped (alone i might add!!) in the outback, at one of those stop over places, cockroaches, mosquitos the works, and duely told a bus would be arriving at 9.am... I slept on a bench for a few hours and woke up to find a little asain kid just sat playing my guitar!! The little f@cker had just got it out the case and started strumming away like Jimi Hendrix's retarded little brother.. To be fair i let it pass, i couldnt be arsed being horrible to a little foreign kid. Shortly after, I took my watch off, and went to clean my teeth at a tap in the corner. I returned to find the same kid with my watch on, and his big brother trying to read my copy of the firm by John Grisham (top book by the way). Neither spoke very good english, but from what i could gather the little one wanted to buy my watch for 2 dollars, and the older one wanted to arm wrestle me???? By now i was weirded out so i declined the arm wrestle, and got my watch back.
9 am comes (thankfully) and i get on possibly the worst bus ever.. It was bad enough that i was the only westerner on it but my ripped seat cushion kept falling off the bench, i had window for air con in 40 degree heat, and f@cking Karaoke played on a PLASMA.. yes a plasma screen (Duck taped to the front panel next to the drivers head...must have been worth more than the bus), giving me vietnamese renditions of 'Two become one' by the spice girls, and culture clubs 'do you really want to hurt me?'.. I was ready to hurt someone.. Unfortunately i did not.
12pm.. So this bus takes me to the border.. where i was told to leave my bag on the bus, and i was pointed in the direction of the only building in sight. Inside, no one spoke a word of english, but i managed to get outstamped from Vietnam and was then pushed 500m down a hill to a hut (Lao customs!!) to buy my Lao visa. This bit went ok, but i then sat and waited for an hour for my bus to arrive again. With all my sh@t still on the Bus, thoughts of people planting all sorts in them got me worried to say the least. I swear on my life, i had already planned what i was gonna do if this was the case.. 'Ring the old queen tell her to get me a laywer, and then get one of the lads to email everyone to tell them what had happened and sign a petition.. saying i was a good boy and had never before been associated with drugs'.. ha ha..
2pm.. Eventually the bus came, i got back on and then was duely dumped again 200 km west.
4pm.. Sat there for another hour and someone pointed at a bus that drove past, saying 'that was yours'... luckily it stopped 200 metres down the road so i legged it and got on.. Not surprisingly, the bus consisted of more locals, parcels people were having delivered, a motorbike, chickens.. yes chickens.. and a dog in the corner. It stank of piss, i had feathers flying about everywhere, and the only thing that kept me sane was Definately maybe, and the occasional flick back to 'We didn't start the fire' by Billy Joel. Oh and i realised that i left my watch on the last bus i was on.. tw@t!!
7.30pm.. I Finally arrived at Vietienne, i smelled like a leper, my mouth was dryer than Ghandi's flip flop, hungrier than a really hungry person, and absolutely knackered... After a whopping 25 hours of travel, I have vowed never to do that again.
Hope your well and had a better weekend than i did. x
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