Today we were elephant trekking and I was well excited, we got to the bar area at 09:00 AM as instructed and a big fat bloke came to pick us up in a pick up truck, we eagerly climbed in. The journey took us up the mountain and through the rain forest (by road) and took around 20 minutes. As we pulled off the road and into the elephants house we saw some of the elephants eating on the side of the road. Now I was excited, Sarah had never seen an elephant before (well of course on tele but never in real life) and they were massive. We went straight through to a platform raised to the height of an elephant and they called a bloke over who brought (or brang as Sarah would say) an elephant, she looked annoyed that it was her turn again. We got on her back on the seat that was tied on (possibly called a saddle? I am not sure) but it was big enough for two, our elephant driver as we heard two Ozzy ladies say, sat on her head, literally on her cranium. He said various words to her and she responded by going in the direction he said, it was high. The seat felt wobbly and I had to get Sarah to shift over as it was leaning to my side. We headed up a river (it wasn't deep, probably more of a stream), still there were rocks everywhere big ones like footballs (size 1 to 5) but the elephant plodded on over them, she stopped a few times but the driver did a little rubby thing behind her ear and that really got her going (moving I mean). It took about twenty minutes to get to the bit where we got off and walked. The terrain we had been up and down was really extreme but she seemed to again plod over it like it was flat, I said to our kid 'if she slips over then we will die' as we were obviously elephant high and then on a two foot wide path that had a sheer drop of at least ten foot. Anyway, we made it and got off to do the ten minute walk up to the waterfall which was pretty but not very good compared to some of the ones we had seen the day before. We got back to the elephant, the man who was guiding us asked 'do you want to sit on her head?'. I asked Sarah 'definitely not' she said, I jumped at the chance 'I will' with a smile, I got on it's massive sweed, I put a leg either side of it's skull and leaned on it with my hands. It's head was squashy and felt like it had an inch of fat between my hands and it's leathery skin and bone. She set off, I was up well high and felt like I was coming off but it was good and I did 'no hands' down some of the big dips like on a roller coaster, the seat was less steady with just Sarah on it and she frequently screamed 'ahhh I am falling off' it was fun, she had a really course hair all over her (the elephant not Sarah) they were like wires coming out of her and as we plodded they rubbed on my legs, I thought I would get stubble rash from an elephant. Anyway we made it to the end of the course and I rather un-elegantly got off her head and back on to the platform, Sarah followed. We then bought some bananas to feed to her, there were about ten in the basket and she tried to grab the whole flipping lot from me with her trunk, I fed two and stupidly asked if they needed peeling (as if they peel them in the wild, prat), the Sarah went and was laughing as she hoovered them from her hands. We then went back up to catch the taxi to our apartments. In the taxi the two Ozzy ladies that described the elephant guide as 'the driver' were there and we had a good chat with them, they were very well travelled and gave us some tips on our route. When we got dropped off the bent lad came running over to us (literally pegging it) wit his arm out stretched and his thumb pointing up to the sky, 'it was good?' he asked,'very good indeed a real good experience' we replied, 'you eat now? Want to see the menu, he ha he ha?' 'not at the moment thank you' we went back to the room and had a shower. We then saw a sign for a Swimming Hole so went to investigate, we got an ice cream on the way and walked up to a posh resort, and as we have been doing everywhere we investigate we just pretend we are staying there and walk through bars and security gates smiling and saying 'morning' - very nonchalant. Our walk took us quite a while and we followed the edge of a cliff which had huge trees growing out of the stone face. Then down through farmers fields which they were busy working in. We stopped when we eventually came to a house so didn't want to trespass. We went out for lunch to a different restaurant on the river and it was cheaper to have a full meal than a sandwich so we stuffed our faces, then about half way through eating two scrawny cats came to our table and jumped on the actual table, we pushed them off, they relentlessly kept jumping up, Sarah tipped her diet coke over ones head which made me cross, they were annoying but that was a little harsh. In the end we just about finished our dinner and I went up to pay and we left because the cats were so annoying. It was beer o'clock so we headed back to the room, we sat out on our balcony with crisps and nuts with a beer. About thirty minutes into our drink we heard a commotion in the leaves next to our bungalow, we looked around and about three feet away there was a dinosaur, well actually it was a lizard but it was about four foot long and looked mean as. I ran round to take a photo of it, as I ran around it scurried up the tree and jumped in a clumsy way onto our roof and made a right racket. I didn't get the snap I wanted of it. I then calmed Sarah down as she looked like she had seen a ghost. We then head out for dinner via the internet café. We shared a portion of chips in there and had a beer, we then still weren't hungry and went to another bar for a beer. Then we decided that we just weren't hungry so went back to the restaurant we had lunch in and had two more beers and Sarah had two whisky and cokes (very strange choice of drink for the old girl, but it was cheap). I was now hungry and bought a pot-noodle from the shop and took it back to the room, which was watched by Sarah longingly, 'I wish I had got one' she kept saying, it was like having one of those cats back again watching my every mouthful. So I had nearly a full pot-noodle and we went to sleep. Sarah couldn't sleep because the big lizard may have fallen through the roof.... I know, bizarre.