Today we were to head for Koh Phi Phi, we caught the 09:30 ferry and walked to the other side of the island to check ourselves in at the ferry place. We got there and had to wait a while, there was no pier in Railey so the technique to get on a ferry was to wade out in the sea, get on a longtail boat out to the deep ocean and jump from the longtail boat onto the ferry. There were about ten longtail boats that headed out to the ferry and ours was the last. My shorts are far too big round the waist for me and as I did my leap from one boat to tother the boat went down and my shorts were low, because I had to lift my leg higher than I had planned because the boat went lower in the sea. This resulted in my shorts ripping right on the gentleman area. Sarah found this very funny, luckily I had keks on and the rip wasn't to big. The boat was rammed and it was standing room only, we stood outside for about ten minutes then decided to go in search of a seat, there were none but found a rather uncomfortable spot on the steps right at the front of the boat. We arrived and the robbing gets made every visitor to the island pay twenty Baht, which to be fair I know is only forty pence but I know it will just go on the piers Christmas party... and they don't even celebrate it. We were sold our hotel (by the shim, the ladyboy, the he she, the Alex Reid/Dame Edna/Lilly Savage/Dale Winton) and told we had pick up, great. We found our bloke to pick us up... however there are no roads on Koh Phi Phi so pick up was a bloke with a trailer which they push along whilst we walked behind him. Just after we stepped off the pier and loaded our bags onto the trailer we bumped in to a girl Sarah went to school with, they spoke for all of 20 seconds as our trailer was getting away. For some reason as well we had to swap trailers 3 times on the way to the hotel. We arrived about ten minutes after setting off and checked in at Bamboo Viewpoint Resort. The hotel had the worst reviews possible online so we didn't have high expectations, but first impressions were good, the pool looked clean, the food was cheap and it seemed friendly enough. We waited for our room to finish being cleaned and then went up there, it was a bamboo structure and had a bed which was made from concrete with a mattress on top and a mosquito net that we quickly tucked under every corner of the bed. It was fine, in fact Sarah loved it which in turn meant that I loved it. We went for a walk as there were several beaches that Sarah had read about and three viewpoints. It is true what Noel Coward sang about 'mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid day sun' it was now 13:00 and boiling and we set out to literally climb a mountain to a viewpoint. There were steps up for probably 100 metres which were knackering, and the only voices I heard were English. We reached viewpoint one and it was fairly impressive - there was a view of two beaches on either side of the island. We set off up a dusty track to viewpoint two, this was 186 metres above sea level and had a view of three beaches, space and the leaning tower of Pisa (o.k that wasn't true but it was high), I claimed to have altitude sickness, Sarah said this was gobs***e. Then up even further to viewpoint three this was a nice steady walk and wasn't that much higher but had views of a different beach. After we had taken some very sweaty high pictures we went in search of a beach that we couldn't see but Sarah had seen in her travel guide, this was signposted from viewpoint three, we set off climbing down a track over tree stumps and rocks. The path went on for what seemed a bloody eternity - it took us 45 minutes to get down to the beach and we were again sweaty and now dirty. It was a fairly impressive beach and there were a few bungalows. It's fair to say we were pooped and couldn't wait to get in the taxi boat back to our beach and back to the resort. We asked around for how much a taxi boat was and it turns out that there wasn't any and the only way to get back was to walk back up to the viewpoint and back down. We couldn't believe that we would have to walk all that way again. However we made it and decided we had earned a long earned relax around the pool, this was soothing on the feet and legs. We went to book a boat trip for the following day and get some food and beer which we took back to the room and chilled out just in time for an early night.