Hi Ralph !
Wishing you a wonderful birthday - may you have an exceptional day - and may the creaking bone syndrome leave you spared for another year ! I am told that lots of wine helps with that - so may you have lots of wine - health and happiness !!

Best wishes - and all the very best
from Clint, Heike, Ricki-Leigh and Dylan

HI how are you guys?

We wanted to go to Botswana but find it a bit risky with the Land Rover and doing it alone.

We are thinking of going back to Kghalagadi and Rooiputs. It is a bit boring going to Kruger once you have been to Kghalagadi Park.

When are you guys coming to Nelspruit. We are waiting patiently!!!!!!!

We cant wait to see you. We must meet up somewhere.

When are you going to Kgalagadi again?

Hope to hear from you soon.

ErnAndre Meintjes

Hi there, just heard you are on your way back to good old EY - it will be nice to see you again..

Hi Dian

First Michael Jackson joke we've heard, thanks for that one!

Your airfare wouldn't be a problem, but I'm not sure we could afford to fund you in beer. Talking of the Twee Rivirien gatehouse, is it open yet?

Job hunting is harder than finding real beer in Botswana (warm or cold!) You have to admire a guy that wins £24 million and just wants a bigger allotment to grow carrots. Think I might pop up to his place and kidnap his marrows.

Temp has reached 30 C and the NHS is on red alert ready for "heatwave victims". It feels like a spring day in Gaborone! Talking of which a friend from SA has emailed to say lions are being a pain and attacking stock and people at Molepolole, so keep your dogs in otherwise they might end up as pre-dinner nibbles.

I assume Gabs is immune from the world economic downturn so trust the computing job is going well?

Ralph

Hi Ralph& Angela

Really enjoyed the update! Did u hear that they are going to melt Michael Jackson and make Lego blocks so the children can play with him for a change?

Things are fine here, really chilly in the morning, but the days are good. I spent my 2 years in the UK doing construction work, so Im sure Ill come in handy. If you can just pay the airfare and guarantee me a few beers a day I will have your house looking like the new gate at Twee Rivieren in no time. And if the women traffic house is not walking distance I will need to borrow the borrowed Fiat.

As for your Job hunting, sounds like you are better off hunting the lottery winners. The old man that won the big one said he just want to grow carrots so Im sure there will be a few pounds left. Im also sure the two of you can put a fine act together to perform at Covent Garden...

Anyway if all else fails you are welocme to come stay here with us, free food and accomodation. You will be responsible to take your beer out the fridge at put them in the sun.

Dian

Hi Florian

Are you sure you are still alive? Is Michael Jackson sat next to you?

Angela & I were sitting in our garden earlier tonight thinking of Plan B if we can't get jobs in the near future. Plan B entails renting our house out soon and driving over to Europe to visit you and the rest of our huge fan base in Germany.

To make sure we got to see everyone we wouldn't be able to stay with you more than 12 months, maybe 18 months if you insist! How does that sound?

In return for food, shelter and alcohol we could keep you amused with fireside stories about Africa and mad Germans in Custard Yellow Toyotas.

Re the male JK Rowlings, can you send us an advance for the book??

Ralph

Hi Richard

You sussed us out then, except that on the current strike rate on the job front (one application in 7 weeks) we will need 20 million people to leave Britain and the rest will have to get a very bad dose of Swine Fever!

Bigger house and triple garage is a definite no-no, I'm worn out trying to re-build this one after the attentions of our last tenants.

As for a Purchasing job covering Telecoms, I'm more likely to get headhunted as Britain's next astronaut! However if you fancy sending over a bottle of that Pinot Noir I would be too much of a gentleman to refuse!

How is the world of telecoms these days, are Avaya still going, VoIP still alive??

Ralph

Ralph, stop complaining about being on the dole! You are a hilarious writer. Take the blogs from the last 4 years - take the best out of it - edit it and become the male J.K. Rowling. I will not ask for a free copy, I will buy one - promised! Hope to see you soon in Eltville

Hi Ralph & Angela

I've only just caught up on the fact they're you've arrived back to the UK (well Reading, writing and arithmetic - pretty much what you're doing currently in terms of CVs and finances by the sound of it).

Firstly, welcome back!

I've seen through your latest blog though. You're doing your utmost to make the rest of us realise how bad things are in this country at the moment so we all decide to throw in the towel and go travelling so that you have more jobs to choose from and before we know it you'll be moving to a bigger house with a triple garage whilst we're all being eating by lions! It won't work Ralph. No one's having my suit and commute (that ryhmes, I like it). (Although Gordon and Alistair are doing a better job than you).

As someone once told me, it can be a job in itself looking for a job.

Anyway, the important thing is you're back safe and sound (all limbs intact) and, apart from sofas in the Post Office, nothing much has changed. You'll slip straight back into civilian life and feel like you've never been away. (It's not working, is it?!)

I have a Land Rover Defender if you want to borrow it and just drive around the IDR in Reading looking for wild animals (after 11pm on a Friday is a good place to start).

One small favour, please.

If you can get a job in Purchasing with the remit of Telecoms it would be much appreciated. It's a small favour to ask after the cost of the red wine at Four Seasons before you b*****ed off!

Richard.

Hi Brad and congratulations

No one is sadder than me at the prospect of going back to work. Spent the evening re-writing my CV, possibly the biggest work of fiction since you did yours up in Haines Junction!

I'm hoping to follow your example with Jola and ensure that Angela gets a job before me, so I can relax a bit and maybe pop over to do some moose hunting.

Drug dealing may be a fall back position if Angela doesn't earn enough to keep me. Living off the land in Alaska sounds good though you guys cooking for us sounds even better!

Are you doing any work between the hunting trips? Presume Jola will only need one day off work to have the baby so you can carry on as before?

Ralph

Ralph and Angela

I am truely sad for you both that you have to go back and work. Of all the people we met traveling I think you enjoy it more than anyone. I would not rule out dealing drugs. I think there is a lot of money in it and you don't have to work to hard. If that doesn't work out you can always come live off the land in Alaska.

Brad

Hi Jim & Linda

Thanks for comments.

Would love to get the flying hours in again. I'm worried that Jim may have forgotten all that low altitude seat of the pants stuff I taught him in the Rockies (the old close your eyes and swig from the Jack Daniels bottle trick).

May be a bit of a delay before we can get out, the Red Arrows want me to fly wingman for the summer season!

Should you guys feel the urge to fly over to the birthplace of civilisation you are very welcome.

With the pound worth about the equivalent of two biscuits with "jello" I'm surprised you haven't booked already.

Has the recession hit Santa Barbara yet?

Take care

Ralph & Angela