Paul,

Just to clear up that long conversation we had in SA - Ghandis first name ISN'T Goosey, Goosey, so there !!

Paul, just to let you know, arrived back from sunny Karachi last night. Nice place but not somewhere I would recommend that you include in your itinerary. So, looks as though the trip is going well although I was (again) a little concerned about the 'Budgie Smuggling' you do know that budgies are considered to be an endangered species in some parts (excuse the pun) and that smuggling them can bring with it a large fine. I remember, some years ago, smuggling a Jack Russell out of Doncaster in a similar manner, some years ago. Not such a problem although when I threw it a Boneo, now and then, to keep it quiet, it did cause me some pain. Where did you hang the millet, by the way.Nice new pics on your blog although it does appear that your leanings towards wanting to become an estate agent are evident, in as much as, pics of the lounge, dining area, kitchen and pool made me want to buy the place.Take care and enjoy but always remember - Bigamy : One wife too many. Monogamy : The same Thing!Mr. Bahn

It's ok, we've just googled budgie smugglers and on urbandictionaries.com have the following definition.

"Australian slang term for men's tight fitting speedo style swimwear. The 'lump in the front' apparently resembles a budgie when it is stuffed down the front of someone's shorts. Ah, those crazy aussies!!"

Every day is a school day here!

xx

Hi Boss,

Good to see some more updates on your travelling.

The girls and i are intrigued as to what you mean by budgie smugglers............. i am sure we should know the answer but if means what we think it means then maybe we don't need a full description or picture!!

Lottie

xx

P.S- Ninj says is the reference to a budgie because they are chased by cats....... aka pussies??!!

Hello from sunny Karachi! Whats this about you Camping on a Manly Beach????

Whats wrong with a womanly beach? Very sexist if you ask me.

Regards fro all of the staff of the Muhatma Coat Hotel.

Sorry not to have posted a blog or any pictures lately but due to the lack of wi fi anywhere on the east coast I simply can't, well that and taking a wrong turn and ending up in Umbridge wherever that was. There wasn't wi fi anyway.

Just incase anyone is interested I'm just North of Sydney now camped up on Manly Beach wearing nought but me budgie smugglers.......

Hi Paul etc.etc

Dear Ms Bean, thank you for your recently expressed concern over my, as yet unconsumated, relationship with the Hydro sub-girls. It prompted my memory regarding a bequest from my late, great-uncle Roddy (The Rat). He became very wealthy operating as a Hungarian Arms Dealer and strangely enough never married. As his least favourite relative (and god knows he hated us all) he left me not a penny of has vast fortune only a large quantity of the bubblewrap which he used to protect his weapons in transit and the perfumed baby oil he used to put the sniffer dogs off the scent. Following your recent missive perhaps I need to re-assess the old boys legasy as I may well have been the chosen one after all. What do you think ?

After this, perhaps, we should focus again on Paul as you suggest in case he takes umbrage.

Dear Paulie, Just a quick one as I am off to the airport in a min - Dubai, Karachi , Dubai and Nigeria. I didn't realise you are such an accomplished camper!!! Had I known I would have asked you for tips. Anyway, just to say - If I'm kidnapped in Nigeria, you know the drill - when the ransom demand comes through. Pay nothing more than a jungle hat and a kilo of sweet potatoes, you could stretch it to a few dried fish. Hope the KY Jelly I sent by DHL arrived before the wombat took off. Ian

Aaah, Mr. Bahn, sweetie. Nobody loves you? As much as I can smpathise, I do feel that we have to keep focused on the matter in hand, i.e. keeping our pal Paulington company as he wends (a definate wender) his way on his lonely path. He has obviously lost the plot completely (doesn't pick up his emails, s***head!) and CAMPING! Oh, Paulie - I still haven't managed to completely erase images of our camping experience at V98. You fitting in with the ambience so neatly - I want to say gagooles but I can't spell that - so I'll stick with the Reynolds version of souwester/gaoloshes(??) - what fun we had!

At least paulie you can travel, safe in the knowledge that your entertaining friends are with you in spirit and I'm sure it won't be too long before you're back where you belong, working your way through the Lowestoft boilers! And talking of entertaining friends, I do fear for your new pal Roddy. I mean, all this full on seduction of the Hydrosub girls and not the merest mention of bubblewrap and baby oil! (to be used simultaneously, obviously.)

And a small protest - with all this amusing dialogue going on, a girl barely gets the time to read her Hello magazine these days. I think its time to stop of this silly nonsense and talk of tents and the like, and come home. And maybe I'll get my scarf back.

Love and miss you xx

OK, thats it, no one talking to me - I'm off, and I may be gone for some time. (in the words of that loony explorer)

Olá senhora. Feijão, Amanhã estou partindo para lugares longe arremessados. Apesar de todas dessas observações terríveis sobre o blog (80 % do qual não são verdadeiro) realmente espero que você se torne em volta ao envio mim um correio eletrónico. Ian x

Ms. Bean. I really do hope that you do not believe a single, scurrilous, word which is being banded around, about me......Rodders!, I will have you know that although my Nigerian may not be up to scratch my Anglo Saxon is perfect...You Bounder!