In Guiyang I spent 4 weeks avoiding eating. The food was spicy and the fish head bobbing in it sort of put me off. There are no fast food places, yes they have a KFC but somehow they forget to take the feet off of the Chickens. But Beijing….

Hello food!! You can keep your wall and forbidden city, I have found my golden arches, how I have missed you. I walked in, pointed out my choices and tucked into my BigMac. It tastes like home. The chips taste like salt and tofu, but I can deal with that, I have a BigMac in my hands.

Rice is the staple food here, actually, rice is the only food here. There are no other options. Its Rice and…. Rice with…. Chopsticks. I do not want to earn my food, but these chopsticks mean I have to work for my dinner. I want to eat, not to fight my food.

I went to a restaurant with a friend, he ordered what he thought was beef. Turns out the symbol for bull frog and beef are very similar. The food here is more hot pot than anything else. You pick out what you want in there and they cook it you. Except tomatoes. They cannot understand why these crazy foreign people would want a tomato in their hot pot. They slice them up, and bring you them on a plate with sugar. I think they got tomatoes and strawberries mixed up somewhere.

The people. There are so many people. The Chinese are everywhere. They are a curious bunch, also mostly friendly. Although they have no idea how to queue. A gathering of people around the ticket office, throwing their 2KWY at the terrified looking lady behind the glass is acceptable. I am apparently the strange one for standing back and waiting my turn.

Right, so I have my ticket. And I am ready to embark on the magical underground journey. I find my place, and form a queue, and to my surprise a line forms behind me. That is, until the train arrives. Now we are back to the "I need to get on this train as quickly as possible". I am not sure what happens if you are last to get on the train, but people will throw you out of the way to avoid being that person.

On board is even more fun, I am sure there are around 4million people on each train, it is… Cosy. Once on board you take your position, trying to find the least awkward place to stand, otherwise it's a long journey staring at some old woman scratching her arse. They fight for seats, you're not even on your feet before you are pushed out of the way for your seat. I have taken to choosing who I would like to take my seat. It is like the thrown, everyone wants is, but I have the power to choose who can have it. I will stand in the way of any one that I feel is not worthy of my seat. If half way through the journey you find your neighbour gets off and someone new moves in next to you, they will sit on the edge of seat, and then expand. Taking all the room. Kung Fu was invented on the subway.

I once had a seat and noticed a small gathering of old men stood above me, I looked down and realised that they could see straight down my top from their position.