China. Take everything you know from the Western world, flip it on it's head shake it up and then you have a small glimpse of China. And for some reason unknown to me, I have decided to move there. The things I know about China: Chinese people live there, it is the home of sweet and sour chicken. Its Monday morning, and apparently I am leaving for China tomorrow. I only have a few things I need to do, book a ticket and pack a case. Then mentally prepare myself for the unknown, the 30 hours of travelling and 3 flights I have ahead of me. Airports are as much fun as an ingrown toenail. But this is different. I feel calm. Too calm. There is absolute chaos all around me. The aeroplane has broken down before we have even and apparently they are starting as they mean to go on. We broke down twice more on the runway, and then lost all the electrics. But we eventually got into the air. I have a lovely little pair of Chinese lesbians next to me, they seem happy enough and are not causing me any problems. The problems were the other side. The rudest Arab family in the world. The evil off spring are swinging off the seats like mokeys, the wife is so large she is overflowing to the next seat, much to the discomfort of the little French guy in the seat. I took my position in my allocated seat, got comfy and flicked through the in flight entertainment. I laughed at This Means War, then I cried at War Horse, and laughed again at 2 and a Half Men. Not sure what the people around me thought, but for the first time in my life I was possibly the most normal person on there. How many people wake up one day and decide to go to China? Welcome to Dubai. Well, Dubai airport, but still, its Dubai. And 2am. Back home it is 10pm, and where I am going its 6am. Should I be eating breakfast, dinner or sleeping? I chose to drag my luggage around the airport to find some sorting of designated smoking area. I have a lot of luggage. I realised back in England that I had too much luggage, now I am realising I have far too much luggage. Oh well, onwards and up wards, next stop, Shanghai. Lovely flight, minus the arrogant French guy who somehow convinced himself that his straw hat was more valuable than my laptop. It was a nice hat, I think they did a good job making it look just like a straw hat. Anyway, I have my laptop and I am in Shanghai. I walked out of the airport for the cigarette I have been waiting for since I got on the plane. The heat was like someone had a hair dryer in my face. And I couldn't see across the road because of all the smog. Brilliant. I have travelled for nearly 2 days to see, nothing. Literally.
I cannot tell you what day it is, and I have no way of figuring out the time. All I know is: I left England at some point this week, and I am in Shanghai and I have had 2 hours sleep. I also know I have 7 hours to kill before my next flight, so a wifi spot and plug socket is needed. Good job I am flying first class, VIP lounge come at me! As a true English woman, I load my laptop, find Google, and type in "F". My computer knows exactly where I want to be. But all I get is "Error on page" which is becoming slightly annoying. After some research, maybe the research should have been done in the UK, I find that Facebook is blocked. Where is the flight back to the UK?