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Its me again Ant with a major update, I need help all my special manx friends.
I Left the camp at 7.30am for my mammoth ride, fantastic ride and I reckon that I saw more sights in one day that will stick in my memory for life that any other day on my travels so far. Just a shame you cant take photos while riding the mammoth as he has the same agent as the penguins and the camel ,but i must say the mammoth was lovely and even gave me a kiss and cuddle when i had finished riding him.
.....so just a snapshot of the day for you, after me and mamoth babes had cleaned ourselves up i met deckers and we went to the quayside to meet Big Sam off the supply ship and were amazed as he descended the gangplank on his 250cc Triumph Scrotum Shaker! His helmet looked battered from his long trip.
We climbed on board the motorbike and Dec knew a shortcut, which entailed taking a different route, a B road back to GeorgeTown, then the main road to Camp. 500kms in all.
On the way we passed people drying peppers on the road, kids sitting in the middle of the road, oxen and cattle crossing where they want, millions of carts being pulled by oxen, did i mention oxen? puchbike with 20 foot bamboo canes across them (ride around Sam ride around!). What we called people carriers with honestly about 50 people in them and another 20 on top....dancing girls in bamboo cages strapped to the back of the tailgate! Potholes the width of table tennis table and depth of 6 inches! Table tennis tables the size of potholes, trucks and coaches trying to overtake each ther and pushing all over road users off the road into the dirt. landmines. Lord Browne (BP) begging at every petrol station. Road madness....It was like the prom in TT week.
What a magical journey..one I will never forget.
Lowlight of the day!!!!
Following one of the people carriers closely Big Sam pulled out ready to overtake, I noticed in the baskets were 3 fully grown Russian strippers Inna, Lena and Weena squealing away to some Beyonce song " Ooh baby do you like what you see" or something like that (we were doing about 80khm). As we got close Inna and Weena let go with their bladders, obviously scared of the bumpy road or the fact Ant and Dec had caught up with them after the disappointing lesbo show!......well we were covered in Russian piss.....good job we had our mouths open but i had to discard my FatFace top that i bought ay Gatwick and my Lambretta Scarf in Lilac as they were coated in the stuff.....
We almost crashed but Big Sam managed to steer us through a mud hut and back onto the main road in front of the girls!!!! Lena tried to take a photo but took it of herself (she never was very good at that). The other girls wanted payment for the watersports but Dec was having none of it. He said he is never, ever speaking to them again ever.
Next thing his mobile rings and he tells Sam to stop the bike. he then jumps off and sprints to join the girls in the basket on the people carrier. He suddenly started taking off all his clothes (except his Everton thong). I never knew he had a tattoo of his favourite players names on each cheek of his ass but their was plenty of room plus both Andrei Kanchelskis & Niclas Alexandersson were both good players. I always thought he supported the Toon though and as he turned round both Big Sam and i gasped as his tallywacker slipped out to reveal a 3rd tatto of another Goodison favourite Li Tie!!!
So Dec was last seen in a basket on the front of a people carrier with 3 Russian Strippers but me and Big Sam are back at Camp and have just heard that the show has been scrapped as our sponsers "the Fabio Cappello Family Trust" have pulled their funding. I mean surely Fab should have a sufficent asset protection structure in place with all his qualifications.
Oh well pour me another rum Sam it could be a long winter.
Ta Ta for now
Anthony (aged 27)
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