After that epic journey we jumped off the mad ferry and tried to find some accommodation.I actually had an address i knew was close to the main area for backpackers and when showing a few taxi drivers he magically knew where it was.He dropped us off half way and when i asked where it was before he left he pointed down there....was it....was it b******s.So i popped into a 7/11, got a drink and asked if they knew where it was.I was sent next door to a dodgey looking shop where he spoke English and he told me it was about 6km away which was useless.We flagged a taxi down and she knew where she was going and after some intense haggling we set off.To be fair so far on this trip I've figured the cheaper one's don't know where they are going and the more expensive actually get you there so maybe in future we will just be better off going for the most expensive ride we can find.Dan at this point wasn't much help.Neither of us were being tired and having no clue what so ever.On a good day we struggle to make a quick decision unless it involves drinking, so this was a bit of a disaster.As time went on i was getting more and more annoyed with the whole situation but when we got to this hostel I felt some relief especially when they told us they had a room.This room needed to be cleaned and we were going to have to wait an hour and so we chilled out for a bit.Dan went sleep and i went for a walk with an ice cream along the beach.An hour n half later still no room and the guy then explained someone was meant to be checking out but their stuff was still all over the place in the room and he guessed they didn't want to leave.So he left it with us and we came to the decision we would wait a bit longer but secretly going to price up other places whilst they watched our bags.It payed off and we ended up with a really nice room for 50p a night more than the hostel.We practically had it ourselves it was that empty.We both had a double bed, hot shower, fridge, balcony, free fast wifi, pool table and darts downstairs and the food was good too.Probably our favourite place we have stayed in yet for the luxury.Another bonus was it was directly opposite 7/11 and so trips over there were frequent.

Once settled in our room we went to the beach where we grabbed some food and an ice cold beer.Suddenly the bit of stress from earlier on and being so tired just disappeared and i felt i was in heaven never wanting to leave this place.We waited 5 weeks to get to this beach and when it came it was stunning.The water was so warm and the sand in some places was like talc.All we needed now was some beach toys.5 minutes later a guy rocked up on the beach selling them....steaks for his dinner because we bought a frisby and a beach ball from him.For the beach ball originally he wanted 550 baht (£11) lol he had to try it on and after several minutes negotiating we got a frisby aswell for 320 baht (£6.40) which wasn't bad as we found a shop in town selling the ball for 300 and a frisby for 200.

Now we had our toys, we could be boys!We played for about 2 hours messing out with them both basically until the sun went down.After diving about like a lunatic we went back, stocked up our fridges with Changs from 7/11, had a shower and chilled out on our balcony.We were going to play cards and drink but after carrying the cards around with me for 5 weeks it turns out Dan only knows how to play drinking games which with 2 people is a recipe for mess!It ended up we whacked youtube on and played Jeremy kyle.Of all the things on there to watch we watched the gayest program alive but don't worry we havn't gone mad and there was a good genuine reason for that.The Jeremy Kyle drinking game.The rules are a bit wayward but go something like this 1 swig if Jeremy's eyebrows go crazy, 2 when he mentions a DNA test and 3 if he says get off my stage!Something along them lines but google it for the full list of rules.

After getting some food we headed out with the instructions from the girl at the bar to head along the road until you see burger king and that is where the night is at.We had called in 7/11 for a man chang to walk with but we never finished it before getting to the first bar where we were allowed to bring it in if we ordered another.Every waitress that walked past made a comment about it but we just joked and carried on.After another unsociable chang we went to the next bar where we ordered another chang and again sat unsociably at a table until Dan noticed 4 girls and decided we had to chat to them.The night that started slow kicked in very quickly and all of a sudden i found myself sat with 4 nice looking girls and talking to them.My memory on a good day isn't good and it seems Chang really doesn't help as all i can remember from the conversation was asking "where are you from?" and i got the reply "you've already asked me that 3 times"."Really, when?"...."Just this second".Funnily enough i had to go to the toilet and when i returned i sat on Dan's side away from this girl lol.From this point its again all down to Dan's recollection of the night and as far as i know he could well be making alot of it.But in a nutshell we went to a club, i wouldn't stop dancing, i tried it on with an aussie girl and got b***** all and on the return was chatted up by a hooker having my lovespuds groped walking by them.Before i left for the night i grabbed my wallet and took all the cards out and just left 1,000 baht (£20) in there, where it is now i don't know but the wallet must of been worth more than anything inside of it to anyone else.All that was valuable to me was my driving licence that i shall need in New Zealand but i still wasn't happy and hoped it would turn up when the tip in our room was cleared.

The morning after we slept until around 2pm after being woken up by the cleaner knocking on our door but we politely gave her the afternoon off.We then spent the rest of sunset walking to the otherside of this island that was probably ½ mile away but never got deep enough so you couldn't touch the floor.We also chilled on the beech not really doing anything but paddling in the sea.I got out after 2 hours when i noticed the wildlife starting to settle on my feet when these little pea-sized muscle looking things were clutching on to me.The evening was again spent with a trip to 7/11 and some drinking on our balcony before hitting town.This evening was about to be very eventful and may take a few pages.

Basically, we had a few man changes before we left and another to walk with as previously the night before.Again we took our half big bottles in the bar just like previously where some of the same waitresses that were a bit funny about it the day before were moaning in a jokingly way.Already drunk we went back to 7/11 for a Bacardi breezer which then turned into 2 once we were in there.We paid for them and got chatting to an English guy who was DJ'in over there for a bit where we stood inside the shop drinking these Bacardi breezers.Me and Dan made use of their deodorant and hair gel on sale where we moved outside to get out of the way.I popped in to get 1 more and a chuppa chup.Dan did a back flip in the middle of the road until we moved on to some kind of bucket bar where it was buy 2 buckets get 1 free.So we had a bucket and half each of whiskey and coke.We got to the end of 1 bucket when Dan bailed 3 times in the loo but because all the toilets were full he chose part of the wall and the urinal where he sprayed his red sick (strawberry Bacardi) everywhere.I laughed, had a dance and "went to have a look" at the mess he made.Secretly i was legging it like Bolt to the toilet where i went straight in (now they were all free) vommed 6 times, jetted it with the butt sprayer and left.Next stop the club we made the previous night....apparently.

Rule of thumb...when you are sick, get back on it!So we did and at the bar saw the cocktail list.Me and Dan must of been through every cocktail imaginable by now so i did the old close you eyes and say 'i want that one'.I didn't get to uni by having a rubbish guess and plucked out a long island iced tea.This was my first experience of 1 of these delights and it was a bit dirty but in a good way.On the way to the dance floor we met the girl from the previous night where I apologised for last night, had a bit of conversation and tried to chat them up.We had a good dance and it seemed like 4 nice looking girls and me and dan just attracted guys like a fly round sh*t and even with my attempts of getting rid of some of the dogs by dancing up the guys trying it on i couldn't wade the lot of them off so we moved to the bar.By this point i was getting the impression they weren't interested so we took off.Not sure where but i do remember the club closing and everyone heading home.We took the beach route.Walking along the beach we saw the odd person walking back but we also saw the island we had previously walked to and decided it would be a really good idea to sleep on that island.

Our amazing plan of sleeping on this almost deserted island (all but 1 shack on this island) was to go back to the room and 7/11 to bag a few essentials like a toilet roll, sun cream and water.I think a chang may of been involved somewhere in that as well.We got lost walking back along the beach and when we realised we had gone too far we turned back and Dan thought he recognised this place and he thought was next door to our hotel place.Turned out it was someone's house who had strategically placed a ladder up the side of this 2 meter high wall of their house.Of course we climbed up this ladder and shuffled along the wall for 200m where at 1 point it joined up with some locals house and a view oft their kitchen.These guys house are shacks and i was walking along the roof and at times looking down into their kitchen hoping it wasn't about to collapse and me ending up in the sink and A&E.It never collapsed but we couldn't actually get down and i was cacking myself enough being drunk and trying to balance on someone's wall and roof.When it hit a dead end we had to jump down.By the way this was all done bare-footed.I had to carry my flip flops for blisters and Dan kicked his somewhere over the dance floor.Later on i will regret it but for the time being we were climbing down this wall into someone else's back garden which turned out to lead to the main road.At this point i remember it as being a good idea to get naked and run past Dan down the road where he chased me but naked and a bit like nudist's we strolled down the road.We got plenty of odd looks but my favourite was defonately when a car drove past us staring and suddenly pulled off the best emergency stop i've ever seen.With shouts of "Hey, handsome boys" we hiked off towards 7/11.Dan came up with "Ay mate i'm going in 7/11 naked and getting some chang's" so we dropped our stuff at the door, grabbed some chang's and got served by some poor lad not knowing where to look.

Thankfully we got back to our room in one piece where Dan got his bag "because mines fake" and collected the vital equipment to trek to this island.When we headed to the beach we took a smoother entry through some posh hotel where we waded through their pools and decided another piece of vital apparatus for the journey would be a deck chair and cushion.Upon stealing this deck chair we made it about ¾ of the way up to our necks in water when we were flashed down by a security guard from a hotel further down the road.He did give it him back and soon headed back on our way.

Preivously when we made it to this island the tide must of been low and it only ever got waste high.This time it must of been the complete opposite as i was swimming quite alot of it when i bottled it and made Dan turn around.I knew there were plenty of rocks i could always stand on and it wasn't that much further but still something inside bottled it and we turned around.After wading through the sea naked we found the hotel we had previously walked through the pool of and strolled past the security at the gate.The best reaction we got was when a locals car drove past and the driver pulled the best emergency stop ever, opened the door, and shouted "hey you sexy boys!".We headed back to our room passing our security guard on the way J he said nothing!

In the morning, well i say morning, it was more like 2pm we were struggled up and suddenly when we were leaving the room the cleaner seemed to be waiting for us.Now if you had seen our room the last person you wanted to see was the cleaner.The only things missing was crap smothered up the wall so we power walked down to the beach and left her thinking she would either of committed suicide or left the room how it was.We had a few hours down the beach chillaxing and when the sun started to set we went back to the room to find it spotless with everything cleaned and tidied up.She did a quality job and did we tip her....of course we never.

Our last day on Koh Samui was spent on the beach and in the room.I checked out a few uni courses and downloaded some movies before getting a good night sleep before we headed to the pier for a boat to Koh Panghan where we endure the infamous Full Moon Party.The boat was 1 of the easiest things we have caught so far and within 30mins we were on a boat which took just over an hour and docked at Haad Rin, the main party area.Again, lucky maybe, but we got off and heard a guy advertising coral bungalows which we had heard about before coming here but knew only the expensive £30 a night room could be booked online and the cheaper £10 a room's could be booked.We were told they had these fan rooms at £10 a night (sleep 2 or 3) and they did but only for 2 nights and the receptionist said she would let us know tomorrow about the room being available for the full moon dates which instantly sparked a joke to me.Turned out she was genuine and not just trying to fill her books before the full moon where everywhere charges what they like because there aren't that many rooms.Its was £2 more for those 3 full moon nights but it was looooooads cheaper than what everyone else seemed to be paying and also coral bungalows is home to 'the original pool party' which looked a good night.We also noticed the price of food and drinks were very good compared with everywhere else so we had done good.It was walkable to the FMP and we met up with a few friends from before that were paying £80 for the 5 days for a loft dorm-style bed above a club compared to our double and single for £28.

That night we went to the pool party that was being advertised and gradually it got busier and busier up until about 12 when it really kicked off.Turned out to be the biggest c*** fest you could imagine to the point there were about 5 girls left which all had guys with them it was atleast 7 to 1 may be more and that's no exaggeration.It was still a decent night though which ended with the purchase of the fluorescent body paints covering our body's top to toe and decorating our shorts.The body paint didn't look great because we just went over the top but as soon as we jumped in the pool it washed off as it was still wet.Soon after we went back to the room and drunkenly (though i can't remember, so doesn't really count) filled up the bin with water from the arse sprayer and tipped it all over Dan whilst he lay in bed.It must of been really funny because the day after i found some pictures of it on my camera.Not sure if Dan was too impressed with his bed soaking wet and all his sheets on the floor but nevermind everything dries!

That evening we were again at the heart of the pool party which seemed to happen every night now but this time we decided we would try and get in early and spotted 3 girls to go and have a chat to.They weren't staying at coral bungalow so they dropped their stuff off at our place before getting in the pool and then discovered our paint and wanted a heart on their chest lol.We had a laugh but no fun or action shall i put it lol.1 of them me and dan had down as our backup was pulled by a guy that looks just like Mr T but i think more like Moto Moto because he was 'huuuuuuuge, biiiiiiiig and chuuuuunky' o and black.Within 2 mins he'd got a kiss and 10 mins disappeared and if i was to see this guy again i was going to ask him one thing "how?".I wouldn't mind that secret recipe of his but it works a treat.

We had both got bored by about 3am and went for a trip to 7/11.Why is it when your drunk your buy loads of random things.I nearly needed a basket ordering things like a pot noodle (kids bacon 1), some cheese and sausage toastie, packet of crisps, packet of nuts, packet of some lil munchies things, ritz, ritz with cheese and a fanta.Came to about £2 to be fair but it was all stuff i didn't need.Apart from the toastie, that was pretty dam good.

Tomorrow came and so did the whole day because we did nothing but sleep.I seemed to have a blockage again where i just wanted to get it out of me 1 way or the other but nothing would budge.But it was a cheap day...that's the only positive i can take from it.

On our third day on Koh Panghan i decided i was going to have a walk around and maybe call in to a place i knew Caroline and Amy were staying at and also to check out the beach on the otherside of the island.Dan had decided to get his arse into gear and get moving so we both went for a gander around.It turned out to be like something off American Pie that's set up with loads of really nice girl walking around topless on 1 of the best beach's i have seen, we stayed there for a hours just watching everyone, not just the girls but people jet skiing and played beach sports.After a few hours we left because we hadn't put any sun cream on.This turned out to be a bad idea because we were both now sunburn, Dan i think got it worse than me but mine was still sore Lso we plastered ourselves with aftersun.

From now on we seemed to turn nocturnal for the next 3 days and only saw light once and that was only because of a long party lol.

The day before the full moon party and after a lot of recovery time we went to check out what all the fuss was about on this party of a beach.Caroline had text me to say she was about and the names of 2 bars on the beach that were meant to be the places to go.After a couple of Chang's we saw some people we had met back on the slow boat and also in Vietnam so after a bit of a chat we went for a wander around where we found people spinning poles on fire a bit like Bruce Lee.Two little kids were also doing it but no-one ever took their eyes off him because every 10 seconds he was dropping the thing and a stick on fire isn't something you really want flying towards you.Further down the beach we could see a giant skipping rope on fire and people jumping in that so we went to have a butchers at that and as soon as i got to it i noticed good old Robbie standing with a few of his new mates.After a bit of a reunion Dan went for a go on the fire skipping with instructions from Dave, one of his gymnastics mates, to do a backflip over it.Well everytime he tried to get init it just hit his shoulder lol.Twice, before he got too embaressed to even try a backflip let alone get in it.Just to rub it in a bit more me and robster went in at the same time jumping and pushing each other until i clipped my legs and i landed on the burning rope lol.With a bit of a 'oooo' from the crowds i jumped up and thought i'd survived only to find a burn on my leg the next day.Not only that when we headed back to the first bar i noticed 2 girls that looked a bit like Caroline and Amy so i decided to take a punt and ask them....well it was and it turned out they thought it was me when i was on the rope swing, obviously not got any balls to ask me though lol.We had a good chat and met 2 more of their friend including an ozzy girl and 5 bucket girl (well fed and drinks like a camel) , they were good fun but 5 bucket girl wouldn't dance (she'd be good at belly dancing aswell?!).Caroline and Amy felt as though they couldn't really leave them though and couldn't really dance either, shame.Dan was dancing though, i don't know where but he had shot off somewhere and when i went to find him i seemed to wake up the next morning.According to Amy; Dan was dancing up 4 girls and i went off to find him.Well when i woke up i asked Dan if he had brought me back because i couldn't remember it.He said "no" and that i had let him back in about 5am.He also came back with the story about being passed out on the beach with people waking him up to see if he was ok and ending up back at some thai girls house where she took his shorts and he panicked and legged it lol. He did seem to come back with no money so maybe she just robbed him but how he gets himself into those situations i don't know.

Again, when i woke up i felt as rough as a badgers arse and was blocked up but it was the day of the full moon so i needed to sort me self out so after taking a paracheatamol about 6pm i grabbed some food and a bottle off water.It made me feel no different at all so i took 2 more tablets and had some more water an hour or so later.I spent about 23 hours of the last 24 in bed watching gavin and Stacey, 2012, ice age 3 and Jason manford but still i didn't feel good at all and even contemplated not going to the full moon party but i felt i had to so after quick deTox we made our way to the beach.We had decorated ourselves before heading out.I went for 2 hands on my nipples and a sun on my belly with my arms covered in bright dots.Dan wrote "TWAT" big on my back and also 'free bums' just because he wrote 'free hugs' on his belly which was what i had wanted to do!He went for the minimalist look with a few lines on his cheeks (face) and a moon.His back i decided i would write 'If found passed out AGAIN then please return to coral bungalows'.We looked gay, me literally, and throughout the night we were approached by a gay 50 year old self tanned guy with a cheeky smile asking if we were both gay so i told him where to go and walked off (dragging Dan away 8-) ).Not only that we met Caroline and Amy again and during polite conversation i was tapped on the shoulder by this time a younger gay guy who kept winking and smiling at me and saying something that must defonately be code for 'fancy a bum' because he kept going on about it with a bit of a shock faced of 'no?' when i didn't understand his jargon.

For those who don't know much about the full moon party its basically one of the biggest party's in the world with around 30,000 people drinking, dancing, having sex and pissing in the sea with maybe the occasional fire skipping, fire ring and fire chicken limbo.We started the night a bit slow with our bottle of water lol.Even Dan had a bottle water and with his sign of being passed out on his back looked a bit of a weed but we got it down us and paid for entry.Paying could be avoided but it was £2 and you got a pretty cool band from it and it also goes towards cleaning the beach which i wish they had started earlier, but more on that later.We strolled around calling in at the supermarket and the toilet (sea) when necessary and trying to look for some people we had met we knew were around.It took us ages to find someone when we bumped in annoying Steve who just walked past us after saying hi lol, what a shame because i was there for a party not a chat he would of turned it into.Randomly a girl came up to us and said "hiiiiii, know who i am" and straight away me and dan both went "Ellis".Her face went a bit, my arse went a bit - that wasn't her name.So me and dan fired out all the names we could remember "Ellis, Amy, Gemma?", we were convinced it was Ellis though and she was pissed off big time so Dan tried a few more as he's better at remember drunk nights than i am.Well she was firing insults now "i obviously left a good impression on you" plus some other things and giving me the hand to the face lol.Then her friend popped up that Dan had liked, Lucy, when suddenly we remember who it was.It was the girl from Koh Samui i kept asking where she was from haha.Well i never actually got her name anyway but i told her all about the night and she actually forgave us, thankgod really because she looked god dam angry at us but when she looked exactly like Ellis that we had been with the day before what could we do?!After a bit of convo (nice convo) we headed around where we bumped into Caroline and Amy and had some more drinks.They both wanted to dance but being sat with 5 bucket girl she didn't want to leave her which was a bit gutting because your only there once so you should make the most of it.We then met up with Ellis and co again and carried on bumping into people all night.My funniest moment of the night was having a pee in the sea in front of several boat taxi's and seeing 2 arse cheeks in the distance lol and when i focused i realised they had obviously chosen doggy style but before i had finished my slash his and hers pants were up and wading back through the water.Wasn't expecting to see that but then again from when we arrived at 9pm people were flopping to the floor passed out and by 6am there we hundreds just flopped to the side.At 6am the beach party finishes and the hardcore stay on for the after parties that are dotted around in town and on the beach.Our mate who was staying at the £80 place was putting one on so we headed over to that where we wondered around their crappy accommodation seeing who had pulled and had a bit of a chat before making our way back.I felt a bit of a legend having made 7:30am and my reward was a stunning sun rise on the beach with a view of millions of bottles, a few little partys and a lot of passed out people.

We headed along the beach to get back because we were familiar with that but half way i stood on a broken bottle of Smirnoff ice which tore straight into my foot and instantly began to bleed.It was spitting out at times it was that deep so all i could do was keep walking on it and try and sort it out when i got back to the room which was a 15min walk from there.I saw a toilet just of the beach and was going to clean it up but there was no toilet roll, it was dark and just standing there for a few seconds there was a puddle of blood which was when i realised how bad it actually was.A few guys stopped when they drove past us and realised my foot bleeding badly and i even got on a guys moped asking for 7/11 so i could get a bottle of water.I got 50m when the guys mate stopped and they were chatting about something in foreign, maybe about taking Dan who insisted he would walk, which is why i got off and waited for Dan to catch me up lol.I had a lump of skin flapping around the size of a marble i had to rip off but it carried on ouzing out at quite a pace.Between us we had 18 baht which was enough for a small bottle of water but the closer i got to coral bungalow the worse i realised it was and didn't think i was going to make it before passing out.Everyone knows that i'm a wuss when it comes to blood or anything alike and get all hot and dizzy, well maybe the only reason i didn't was the drink, but it maybe the fact i drank that it bled so much as i've just found out it thins the blood.When i got back i didn't know what to do with but Dan said i should just try and clean it with the shower and then whack a bandage and dressing pad on it.And that's exactly what i did.Using a whole bandage tying it together with a safety pin i jumped into bed.When i woke up the dress was red on the bottom covered in blood but i really didn't want to look at it so i spent most of the day in bed with it still bandaged up.It must of carried on bleeding alot because it had left some blood stains on my sheets even through the dressing pad and bandage.I do have some pictures of it if you want a look.My bad foot (with the glass in it) was now my good foot and i was now hobbling about like a turd. After some food and water i thought i was clear it up and wasn't looking forward to what i expected to be painful by taking the bandage off.However the dressing pad covered the whole wound and it practically wound off.The bandages were that soaked in blood it actually smelt like death and i couldn't smell it without it making we want to puke so i had to bag them up and throw them, after a getting a picture of course.The problem now was that i had a huge cut that was bleeding a weeny but not knowing what i could do with it as there is a £2 coin size flap of skin hanging from my foot.It's dead but a bit in the way so i was going to cut it off but without any scissors i couldn't really and every time i looked at it i was getting the old hot flushes so i just bandaged it up and have ignored it as it doesn't really hurt alot.I don't think it would be worth going to the hospital with it because the cut is that awkward it can't be stitched and why would you bother with a skin graft on your foot?I'm really glad i never threw my medical kit away now as it was definitely needed in this situation.I know i'll be out of action for a while but i hope it heels ok and doesn't leave a funny hole missing out of my foot.

Dan had sorted our bus out for tomorrow to Phuket and also our extra night accommodation so that helped and we just watched a film in the lobby that evening before struggling to get to sleep at a normal ish time of 12 lol.We are currently on the bus now after catching the ferry from Koh Panghan to the ferry crossing near Surat Thani where we caught a bus after a 30mins wait.Then waited at the bus station for an hour and 20mins where we then got shifted to a tuktuk ride for 20mins to a different company who then made us wait again for over an hour and charged us another 200 baht to take us to Patong beach instead of Phuket Town!Then the bus turned up drove for 10mins and stopped randomly, which after 30mins we set off again and a girl who had gone to find the driver had said he stopped for his dinner the cheeky b*****.He left us sat on the bus whilst he had his dinner!30mins after than we stopped again to refuel which took another 20mins and by about 8pm, having left at 11:30am we had only really just set off on mainland towards Phuket.Dan had been told we would arrive at 8:30pm and its now 11pm with probably an hour to go and no accommodation and 2 feet i can barely use.Hmmm, not the best of days but they happen.If i was on my own i'd probably of waited around Koh Phanghan a bit longer because of my foot.I noticed a special offer when we checked out and all the rooms there were half price...silly how FMP hikes prices up so much and even air con rooms were 65% cheaper lol.We had expected to alot more for our FMP experience though and i think we did well, excluding the foot!