Hello there avid followers of the Matt & Chesney roadshow!!!!

Updates to tell all.......current location is Australia mate!!!! Long journey here from Koh Samui!!! Left Sunday afternoon, had a day in Kuala Lumpar, 12 hours in Singapore and finally reached Cairns via Darwin through the use of various means of transport.......taxi, ferry, taxi bus, train, bus, aeroplane, goat.......

Koh Samui was supposed to be an opportunity to have a very quiet and relaxed time, time to chill and enjoy the beach life etc.......however......it turned into 4/5 nights of complete utter craziness and wild partying!!!!

Dan, an original member of Little Britain (Easy Divers, Koh Tao) joined us.......we'd spoken to an Irish dude called Eoghan on the Catamaran over and he said we should check out the New Huts for accomodation on Lamia Beach.......wow....they were literally a hut on the beach!!!! 5 yards from our front 'door' was the sea...really cool!!!

So we arrived evening time and after a brief wander round Lamai (a very brief wander as we couldn't find any sign of life!!!!) we got a taxi up to Chawang Beach. Thai green curry for tea (out of a coconut) was washed down with.....a few cheeky beers, just for the road!!!!
Hit the beach bars, very relaxing, sat on beanie bags on the beach looking at the stars and the occasional firework that was set off (didn't realise it was November time already - doesn't time fly!!!) we indulged in yet more ale!!! I was challenged to a game of Connect 4 by a young islander, 100 Bhat for a game, being the gambling type (yes that's true!!) I accepted the offer and was kindly humiliated by said young islander!!!!!

Plenty more beers were consumed this night and we ended up heading town to the legendary Green Mango area of town....hmmmmmmm, what can I say about this place!!! Very seedy indeed!!!! Walking past every bar you are harrassed and manhandled by numerous bar workers (an experience Chesney particularily enjoyed!!!) - no doubt all keen for you to dip your hand's into your wallets!! All were unsuccessful Jackie!! We hit the Green Mango club, which was packed to the rafters!!! I made the assumption that unless informed otherwise, all women were 'Ladies of the Night'!!! Some crazy disco disco dance moves were performed here before we headed to Sound Nightclub. More beer, more prostitutes to turn down (one of which Chesney upset - in no uncertain terms I told her where to go....there were several expletives involved!!) and more moves were busted!! Expecting the night to come to an end we trotted away from Sound looking for a taxi.....however we then discovered 'Conchita's Bar'.....oh dear, we should have carried on walking!!! We'd only entered some Strip joint!!! As we walked in for a beer, I jumped the bar and decided to impress the locals with a Pole Dance...I've a lot to learn and some growing up to do yet!!!! As I jumped back to the correct side of the bar we were ambushed by a load of 'Working Girls'........they are relentless and don't leave you alone!!! One in particular decided that we wanted to see her strip...no thanks she was a little ropey to say the least....she then kindly offered her friend to me for a 1000 Bhat, hmmmm, no thanks again, even promising that I could keep her till 2pm!!!! I declined politely!!! We ended up getting home at about 7.30am....a fair old 'quiet night' out!!!!!!

We also embarked on a day's Safari on Koh Samui which turned out to be a really fun day!!! We saw the GrandFather and GrandMother rocks (basically rocks that looked like Male and Female sexual organs (or a c*** and a fanny for ease of understanding!!!)), then we saw a trained Monkey grab coconuts from a Palm Tree and proceed to fling them to the floor - very clever that!! We had a 30 minute Elephant Trek on Bart the Elephant, which was wicked (Thanks Nan!!). We also saw an Elephant Show (that involved dancing, playing a harmonica, a penalty shoot out with an Irish lad), Monkey Show and a Crocodile Show (some crazy Thai lads put 100 Bhat into the croc's mouth before taking it out with his hand, then the other lad ran towards the croc, slid along the surface and stuck his head in it's mouth - my heart was racing for him the crazy camel!!!!). Afternoon consisted of a 4x4 cruise to the highest point on the island (650 metres up with sensational views) - me and Ches were riding on the roof of the 4x4 which was an experience - holding on tight was difficult enough, nevermind the dodging stray branches, Palm Trees and Vines - we kept the passengers of the 4x4 infront of us entertained with our limbo dancing!!!!! A fantastic day ended with us seeing the Big Buddha.....before we arrived back at the New Huts and thought it'd be a good idea to go for a run on the beach (it had been over 4 weeks since we really properly exercised!!) - about 4 or 5 km later and I was shattered - lucky there was a sea there to cool down in!!!!

We also went to see Muay Thai (or Thai Boxing) which was a really good night out!!! The lightest category was 70 pounds!!! I had my photo going toe to toe with the little lad - he was about half my size!!!!! Funny!!! Plenty of bets were placed - Chesney was the Blue corner, I was in the Red corner and won 5-2 ha ha 50 Bhat a fight!! Also side betting with a couple of Ozzie's Marco and Dano....another quiet night out ended in a session after we met these guys!!! Buckets were on the Menu again, plenty of Pool was played - met some mad, very drunken Swedish chick whom took a fancy to Marco....then me, Ches & Dan headed to a couple more clubs to dance the night away again (the moves are NOT getting better with practice!!) Walking home Chesney bumped into a Londoner called Stef who was a little worse for wear to say the least. To mine and Dan's horror they took us into 'Conchita's dump' I mean 'Bar'...where we duly harrassed again!!!! I stayed for a drink and departed home alone, I had a serious reality check in there - very very seedy so hopped on the back of a Moped for an interesting journey home!!! Another late finish!!!!

Final night on Koh Samui was a classic - what with the Super Rams beating the Red Dogs 3-1, spoke to the folks for the first time in what seemed years!!!! Managed to actually find our local resort!! 5 minutes down the road was Lamai Beach!! Dan crashed and burned early doors - so it was just the two of us for the 1st time in ages. Ended up in some crazy local Thai club that had a live band on......we couldn't understand a word they were saying but it made for a truly entertaining night......all the locals were going wild (I have no idea whether this band were famous or just playing covers that everybody knew the words too!!!)....quite a surreal night anyhoo!!

The next day we boarded the ferry bound for the mainland and said our farewells to Thailand...it had been emotional!!!!!!