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Friday 14th December 2007 -
After our hellish overnight bus journey being squashed into a space the size of a tin of
beans we arrive in Hue @ 0730hrs. On disembarking from this finely designed piece of machinery they like to call a sleepr bus we are bombarded by a bunch of guys on motobaai's trying to get us to stay at their guest house. Pissed off and tired we tell them that if they don't back off then we will not stay at any of them and pitch up on the street instead.
Realising this was a silly threat we opted to follow the guy with the big long pinky nail
as he seemed to be the quietest. We checked in and took breakfast and asked for a moto to take us around the city. Quy and Tri (our designated Easy Riders for the day) turned up and took us everywhere we wanted/needed to go and also out to the countryside to see the rice field with the wee ladies trailing the fields. Susan asked Tri what they were doin, thinking that it may be some preparation for harvesting the rice. Couldn't be further off the mark.....she was hunting for rats!! For dinner!!!
With the wind in our hair we scooted all over and saw everything in a day, so we took the guys out for dinner and went to a pub called Brown Eyes for pool and a few drinks. Laney befriended a small dalmatian puppy until she remembered the small risk she was takin RABIES!!! as he was bundled to the ground without a thought. To our surprise there was a Scotland flag hangin up in the bar with Scotland the Brave across it.......oh sweet memories of the land that once was.....Home!!
Sat 15th Dec -
Packed our bags and waited for Quy and Tri. We had decided to ditch the bus to Hoi An after the last limb crippling ordeal and take them up on their offer of a motrbike ride down the coast and over the mountains. After breakfast at the cheapest place in town we set off for Elephant Spring which was the first port of call. It was the most gorgeous river with a waterfall and a huge Elephant carved out of stone. We stripped down to our bikinis (very daunting as it was our first time in skimpy clothin since we left Scotland) and dive on into the river. "Holy shingus Sue, do you feel that" something was biting my legs. "EEEEEK" shrieks Sue. After a short investigation of the waters we were swimming in we realised we were getting munched by some
local fishes. No worries there then we've got bigger teeth so we carried on swimming while the wee b******s sucked at our fine bodies. The locals must have got word of the 2 elephants that were grazing by the side of the river and came up to take pictures and wave. We gave them a swift wave of our trunks and dried off on the rocks. As we were pitched up on our rocky seats Tri looked a little bit baffled and asked why The Bald had white skin but i had YELLOW skin. Laney reacted in the way anyone would to such a comment being made by a Vietnamese man, and told him that his skin was frikin yellow and hers was more golden and would return to its bright white colour when kept outof the sun for long enough. It didn't stop there tho as there was a slight wind at the time of dryin off Laney also came out in goosebumps along with her heat rash and both of them chuckled away pointing and laughing saying 'oooh chicken skin....yellow chicken skin'. I'll bloody give you yellow chicken skin now get back on your bikes before i snap your weasely wee fingers and you won't be an 'Easy Rider' then will you.
Next stop Marble Mountain which was of course a 'marble mountain' with lots of
Pagodas and shrines. Too much excitment for Laney and the Bald and we were back down quicker than the USA will open full scale war on Iran. We were back on our bikes with our luggage strapped on behind us and helmets that would fit the elephant man nd on our way to China Beach. We sat and chilled on the sand until a young girl came along to try and sell us some of her home made bracelets. Laney was sucked in and bought a wee necklace (but not without a bit of bartering) and gave the chick enough money to get the bus to school the next day, as without an education she would not be able to count out the correct amount of shells to put on each bracelet.....Laney is always thinkin of the welfare of those less fortunate than herself.
Susan by this point was losing the feeling in her buttocks from sitting on a bike for so long so luckily it wasn't long till we arrived in Hoi An. We went straight to an ATM for money and then to a pharmacy to get allergy tablets for Laney's chicken skin disease which was starting to spread. After a shower we headed to a cheap wee restaraunt for dinner and lots of cheap beer. We sat on a balcony looking out over the river when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye i spotted wee Annie the chinese girl from Hanoi. "hoi Annie get yer arse up here an join us for a swally" we shouted! Don't think she understood the patter but dragged her monstrous camera up the stairs all the same. Annie had picked up a friend while she was wandering around making her millions of photos so we sat and chatted for a while.
Now Sue's Esy Rider is called Tri (a 33yr old single man who wears second hand clothes and is as poor as Susan's grammar) and he reckoned he had fallen in love with Susan and that they should get married in Dalat. He kept this going for quite some time so the novelty of the joke wore thin with Laney after about an hour. Laney told him he was a little mosquito and if he came anywhere near The Bald then she has a knife in her room which would fit perfectly into his eye. He took heid of these friendly comments and told Susan that Laney was the "Police......no good". He was a pest but harmless.
Sunday 16th Dec -
Got up and changed hotel as the guys knew a better one. Then they took us to the beach to buy suncream and chill for a bit. Another young girl came along to flog her s*** she was selling and we were doin so well not buying anythin. We told her we would pay half of what she wanted and she said "I didn't come down in the last shower. I wasn't born yesterday" So seein as she made us laugh we bought a bracelet and a ring and told her to sling her hook. It is so good havin personal chauffeurs, something one could get used to. The new hotel is v.v.good so we told Annie to come share a room with us too. We all took a walk around the city and market and took a boat up the river. Then we met Alan and Roy and got beer before they got on their bus.
Laneys heat rash is getting bad so its back for dinner and sleep.
Monday 17th December -
Got up had food and took moto to the beach. We played in the waves for a while and got back to the hotel for a shower and had dinner with Annie. Waiting for our bus and the girl at the hotel gave us lovely purses as a gift. We would like to think that we are extra special guests but we reckon everyone gets them. Our sunburn and prickly heat is gettin worse and the bus is running late for picking us up. WOW!! 2hrs late the bus eventually comes. Got the bus and it was another hellish bumpy ride. There were no seats next to each other so Laney parked up next to a local guy and the Bald was behind snuggled into some old Vietnamese granny. The man next to Laney fell asleep but The Bald was constantly being poked in the side and spoken to in Vietnamese for the best part of the journey hohoho, until the old biddy opted for the floor as a comfy place to sleep and sprawled some newspapers across the aisle before launchin her old rickety body down on top of them.
Roll on Nha Trang...................
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