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Tuesday 18th Dec -
Arrived @ 0600hrs in Nha Trang and took a motobaai to Kim Uyen hotel. First one that asked us when we offloaded our mobile homes from the bus. Checked in and went for breakfast. Came back to our new hotel and updated our blog, did some emailing and went for a wander around town and back to the breakfast bar for a s*** hot fruit shake. Found a local cafe for dinner and popped by a bar called Krazy Kims for a beverage. They have a wee school attached to this place where they take in street kids and you are welcome to come along anytime during the day for free coffee and talk to the kids in English. As much as we would have loved the free coffee we decided there would have been too much drinkin time wasted trying to talk to the skids....i mean kids. Two yanks who looked like rejects from Hanson (gay band about in the 90's) asked us to play pool, so we warned them that we were guff and challenged them all the same. To our relief they were as s*** as their hairdo's so we looked pretty good on the table. We had got a wee flyer for a bar called the Why Not Bar and thought to ourselves 'Why Not?'. they had some promo on for voddy red bull so we got royally smashed and couldn't find our way home. After a hell of a long walk and absolutely no idea where we were going we opted to hitch a ride with a motobaaai and we were only on them for 10secs around one corner and back at our hotel. Couple a numptys!!
Wed 19th Dec -
Got a tuna baguette to cure our hangovers and went to the beach to laze about all day. Had a swim in the waves and went for a walk. 2 guys we had met from Scotland had told us to meet them in The Sailing Club for a drink so we went out to Nha Trang Seafood for dinner first. As we took our table a local guy started ranting away to us about how he had been in the U.S for 25 yrs and was home for a holiday. going by the fact that he only had 3 fingers and his English was crap we reckoned he was talkin a load of s***e and tried to ignore him. Luckily he had just finished his dinner so after he told us how much he loved us and we shook his wee stumpy hand he shot a crow and left us alone. Laney opted for the red snapper for dinner and when it came it engulfed the whole bleedin table. 'Holy nike air Jesus' 'I'll never finish that'. It was a kilo of pure fresh snapper. Fair play to Laney who demolished it minus a few bones and lettuce leaves. We shot off to the Sailing Club to meet the guys and realised that the drinks were far too pricey so we stayed for one which wouldn't have taken so long had Susan not needed to pay the longest visit in the world to their freshly cleaned bogs. One cocktail down we headed for the Why Not bar and drowned ourselves in more voddy red bull. As we were sitting there an Italian guy approached us as he reckoned he knew our accents so we allowed him to come and sit with us and tell us his life story. Which in a nutshell was that he works with celebrities, ended up in the priory and was in Nam trying to sort his head out. After a few drinks he headed off on a hunt for coccaine and we befriended a welsh guy from Skye who owns and Irish pub in Nha Trang. I know we meet some right tools eh? Anyway he seemed nice enough and invited us for christmas dinner at his bar if we were still there.
Took a motobaaai straight from the bar so as not to get lost agin.
Thursday 20th December - Woken by the phone Laney sat starin at it for a short while wondering who it might be. "Jumpin Jelly Beans" "Susan we booked a boat trip yesterday". Laney answers the phone and the lady says the bus is waiting for us. After about 3 calls we have dragged our bikinis on and are ready for action. NOT!!!! Each time the bus stopped to pick up peeps The Bald was sent off to buy fags and food and water......we were really suffering. Maybe we should be asking ourselves Why Not go to the Why Not Bar??
We went to some island and jumped off the boat to swim for an hour then back on for our lunch. The crew were very lively unlike us and were singing and dancing and trying to get Laney to Sing waltzing matilda into the mic. Nae Danger!! The Bald was getting chatted up by some 55yr old Dutch guy who was a pain in the freekin ass and kept laughin at his own jokes cause naeb'dy else was.
Off to another Island where we chilled on the beach for a while and back onboard for more fruit and wine. Thinkin we must be en route back to the mainland we had semi smiles on our chops until we rocked up at another bleedin island and this time it was for an aquarium.
Laney and the Bald opted out of this excursion and rested their asses by the side of the water. We got back ashore @ 4pm and were dropped at our hotel for what would turn out to be our daily 'skids' and a shower, then out for dinner at a BBQ place (which was crap) and booked our bus to Dalat.
Friday 21st December -
0730hrs waiting for bus and as it arrives Laney dives onboard to get some seats but to her surprise it is pretty empty. As we are making our way up the aisle we here "goot maurning girlsh how are you". "Oh b******s Susan do you see who is on the bus? That bleedin dutch guy. Did you tell him we were goin to Dalat today?" To the back it is then as far away as possible. Peep Peep we are on our way to Dalat the honeymoon city which is holdin a flower festival at the moment. 1 hr into the journey while Laney and the Bald are resting their weary eyes there is an almighty thump and the brakes are pressed to the ground. After prising her head from the seat rest in front, Laney had a glance out the window.......oh baws!! We've hit a cyclist and crunched his bike under the wheels. "does he look alright"
says Sue. Well if alright is lying spreadeagled in front of a bus with about 50 locals
surrounding your motionless body, then i'd say he's alright. If not then he is fecked!
We sat for abit and once we got too hot we ventured off the bus for a wee nosey. The guy had been moved by this point so we went to see what damage had been done to his bicycle. It looked pretty screwed and he had a bag of seed in the front of his wee basket which had spread across the road after impact, but the basket was still in good nick, so if he survived the accident he would only need to buy a new frame, a couple of pedals and maybe a new saddle as thatlooked slightly scuffed up too!!
We were left to melt in the sun for a few hrs before another bus came to take us over the mountains and on to Dalat where we arrived at 6pm. It was the last day of the Flower Festival so there were thousands of people and motorbikes surrounding the lake watching the fireworks and listening to the bands playing on the main stage. We had a couple of drinks and a lovely dinner by the lake and went back to the hotel for midnight. It was all locked up and barracaded when we got back and before the Bald started scaling the railings bound for another injury we rattled
the gates and woke the guard who kindly let us in.
Sat 22nd Dec -
Had banana pankakes for brekkie and walked to see the last of the Flowers at the show and took a pedlo out on the lake for a bit of a chill. Went off to the market and bought some wine and sweets and nuts for christmas and went back to the hotel. It was obvious that the wine would not last tille christmas so when we got back we cracked it open and got ourselves slightly tipsy and went for dinner. On our way to the restaraunt we bump into 2 weirdos from Ireland ( Susan seems to be a magnet for these type of folk) who were in their 50's and looked like they had been rejected from the quality control line when god was creating humans. After a THRILLING conversation with them we had dinner and bumped into another 2
guys form Switzerland and Germany. It didn't take long to get rid of them as all the bars close at around 1030pm so we made our excuses and left.
Strollin home and slightly merry we were slating the dutch guy from the bus when we heard "Oh look there'sh the girlsh" b******s b******s b******s!! " do you think he heard us". We walked him and his friend up the road and managed to get away without any problems.
We had recieved an email from the boys we met on the ferry in Japan sayin they were headin to Nha Trang for Christmas which would mean doubling back on ourselves but we thought it would be worth it for the party so booked our bus for tomorrow back to Nah Trang.
Sun 23rd December -
Got bus back to Nha Trang with no accidents or fatalities. We met a brother and sister from Singapore on board and also a guy called Peter from Sweden so we chatted loads and arranged to meet up for drinks later. Booked into same hotel as Peter sat on the internet then went to the Shamrock to try and book Christmas dinner, fixed our flight dates with STA travel and had an amazing curry at Omar's. Guess we don't need to say where we went after that? The Why Not Bar of course and got smashed.We met a lovely skinny guy who looked like a junkie from England and as he was smashed out of his face and worked in the bar so we wangled some free booze out of him :)
Monday 24th December -
Tuna baguette to cure the hangover. Not a good idea as we got a baguette, a pile of tuna, a pile of salad, and some mayonnaise so we had to crate a masterpiece ourselves. Off to the beach after and lay on the sand feelin rough. Ross appeared and was chatting to Susan (who didn't even recognise him) she thought some random guy was chattin her up. AS IF!!! Once Laney joined the conversation The Balds 3min timer pinged and she remembered who it was.
Ventured into the waves and met Sean and made plans for the evening. We were supposed to meet the Singapore folks for dinner but kinda ditched them and ate with the boys instead.
We went to the Sailing Club as there was meant to be some party there for Christmas eve and we heard something about FREE DRINK! There was a big rave on the beach and loads of people partying, dressed up and having fun in general. It's bloody hard to dance on sand.....especially when ur drunk. I think that was the Bald's excuse for being found lying in a drunken state on the ground somewhere. Laney was called to the rescue but could harldy focus (due to the dark of the night of course) Sean was sittin with Sue so Laney went to
retrieve all the flip flops before we dragged Sue home. No flip flops to be found as Laney checked over and under evry table wiping out a few drinks along the way. Baldrick could hardly hold her head up and was drooling slightly so she was punted onto Seans back and we struggled back to the hotel with her in our bare paws. All in all this is ranked up there with all the other good nights we can't remember anything about!!
Tuesday 25th December -
Merry Christmas Everyone!!
Feelin like s*** and shoeless we head out at 0930hrs in our barefeet and go for a bit of retail therapy: 2 x bikinis 2 x shorts 2 x flip flops. Susan almost passed out in the
bikini shop so best cure is the beach. Parked our asses on some loungers and had no energy to swim so we had a massage instead. Seein as it is Christmas and we have not phoned home yet we decide to make way for the post office. Bumped into the boys up there who had obviously had the same idea. Phoned home which was really nice and arranged to meet the boys at the Shamrock for dinner.
Good dinner that night and felt somewhat better afterwards which meant we could pop by the Why Not for a beverage and ended up as Susan puts it f***oed!! Merry Christmas Nha
Trang.....
Wednesday 26th Dec -
Another day, another hangover for Laney and The Bald.......excellent.Got up in the afternoon and dragged ourselves to the beach with the boys.Bought a football and played in the biggest waves ever!! Susan was too scared to get in the water so she looked on from a distance and made some funny pictures and movies of the near drowning of all her travelling buddies.We had a yummy curry for dinner but so much was left to waste as our stomachs coulnd't handle this good food.Only cure for a hangover is to get ripped again at the Why Not bar.It wasn't long before the voddy red bull buckets were on the go and the rest is history.........
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