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Arrive in Hong Kong and take out much needed money 3200 Hong Kong Dollars and go for a bus to the Hotel. Strange???!! They don't accept 1000 dollars bills on the bus so we are off to break it. Perfect purchase was an ice cool Coca Cola - cannae whack it!! We stuck our bags down the front of the bus where the disabled folk park their chairs and went to rest our legs. First crack on the brakes and our bags are skitin past the driver and almost burst his wee cash machine. For fecks sake Susan we've gotta bleedin stand now. Retrieve our bags and guard them like babies till we get off the bus. The driver was insisting we used seatbelts to strap them in but we told him to get back in his wee booth and drive the bus.
Pheew we arrive on Nathan Road - lots of posh shops and fancy paces to eat, we've scored a good Hotel here Susan yippee. Find our way down to Chunking mansions and holy shingus the place is like Beirut. Full of seedy shops and stinks of curry and pakora from all the wee indian food stalls. Lots of BIG African american people and lookie lookies selling watch bag, watch bag, you like, you look, watch bag.
Faster than Bananaman we are on our way to the 7th floor of this dingy hole. Finally we get up and get to our room which is the size of a shoebox @ Payless Guest House fiver each per night. The shower room was more a wet cupboard, you practically had to sit on the bog and shower yourself it was that small. Lucky we are not used to luxury and we made the most of it. We went out to get dinner and bumped into Susan's mate fae the bank who we also met at Heathrow, he is also stayin at the Mansion but in a different block. Think he has better view of our window from there :o). Arranged to meet him the following night and went to Ned Kellys for a yummy Aussie Burger and an ice cool Sol.
Monday 3rd December -
Got up and went to Hong Kong Island in search of the giant ape they christened King. We took the tram up Victoria Peak as Susan says he is regularly scaling high things, and we had a wander around. 2 guys asked for a photo with us - charming - lucky it wasn't 'Predator 'we were hunting as his infrared temperature detector would have burst with the heat from The Balds beamer. We went up China Tower to have a look at the (free) view from the 47th floor. Tried to find the escalator street with all the bars but had no luck and had to get back to meet Stevo for dinner. We thought we had better have a wee apetizer to suppress the hunger pangs and opted for a banana pankake. Back to the Mansion via the 7/11 and thanks our great mathematical skills figured it would be cheaper (better) to buy a bottle of Voddy than a few cans of beer. Had a shower in the specially designed - s***, shower and shave (all at the same time) shower room and went to meet Steven. We got fired into the voddy and before we knew it it was well past dinner time and we had forgotten to eat. The voddy was takin it's toll on Susan and Laney big style so much so that when we shared the toilet in a public eating area we were greeted with lots of staring faces on our exit. We trundled on to a bar with a live band and had a wee boogie and made for a sharp exit when Sue hit the deck. OUCH!!
Tuesday 4th December -
Up and out for 1030am - total sweat fest in the shoe box. Feelin tender from 2 days of starvation and a shed load of drink we went for soup and a sandwich, and then on for an ice cream. Walked some distance in our flippen floppen and Laney got blisters on the bottom of her feet. God only knows how!! Went to Chinese for huge dinner then back to mansion for bed. It's too hot to sleep and all the flippin Nigro's are slammin doors and arguin.
Wednesday 5th December -
It's mummy Bald's birthday today so to celebrate we took our sweaty asses and blistered feet to Disneyland Hong Kong. Fund day had - luvin Space Mountain so much we had a few goes. The rest was cheeztastic but amusing all the same. We've never seen a Chinese cinderella before! Back @ mansion and down to local Pakistani Internet Cafe. Susan was insisting she got some free Korma or at least pakora to munch while she was surfin but unfortunately it appears you don't get jack for free around here. Tried calling mummy Bald then bed.
Thursday 6th December -
Up @ 0830hrs and we went back to Hong Kong Island and got suncream and fruit and set of for a trek at the top of Vivky Peak. Started our 4 and half hr trek to Aberdeen peak and after a mere 45 mins we were back at the start. Huh??
Susan had broken the compass a couple of nights before when she successfully found her way South and was left with bruises on her heid, so we were left to navigate using only sun sightings. Re-read the map and set off again recovering half our footsteps and marched thru trees and (empty) burns and walked down half of the hill only to realise we had to walk back up again further along. We got many many stares @ Susans beetroot face and our wheezing and panting due to our childlike lung capacity. Finally reaching the top we made our way to the nearest bar for a cold beer and a fag Full bunkers and now ready for the vertical descent down the other side of the mountain.
We found the escalator street in SOHO and went to the top and walked back down via a few bars - very nice - we could both live here quite easily. Had some dinner and back on the ferry to watch the buildings covered in Christmas lights from the water. Pretty spectacular. Home for shower and bed - long day!
Friday 7th December -
Up and checked out @ 12noon and made way for the train station as nowhere in Hong Kong can book our onward travel thru to Hanoi ( Vietnam). Made it just in time for the train but unfortunately still had money left over so we had a little shopping spree and bought fags, cakes, sweets, sandwiches, water and pastries. Felt like Christmas came early - for Susan. My Christmas normally consists of a tangerine and a yorkshire pud :o)
Arrived in Ghanzhou - flippin hell hole and went to main station. Train leaves in 30mins but only standing left. Nae Danger Baldrick!! Pondering over our next move we were being photographed by locals using their mobiles. They were lucky i had a fag in one hand and my bag in the other, and my blisters were too sore to use my feet! Off along to the bus station and Hallelujiah we can share an even smaller space with these dirty wee bawbags on an overnight bus to Nanning. Sue is full of the cold and we have a 4 hr wait till the bus, so doctor Laney prescribed some Voddy for the body.
Bus looks nice thru the 'voddy spectacles' so we are off to sleep @ 9pm - mmmmm sweet dreams! Frikin 2330hrs and everyone is booted off the bus for a pee and fag stop. Yipee back to sleep again for some more dreaming - until 3 bleedin 30am when we are awoken by a man shouting toilet, toilet. So we responded shouting - NO PEE NO PEE and drifted off again.
Arrived in Nanning @0730hrs - next bus to Hanoi leaves in 1 hr, but we have no Chinese cash and there is no ATM here. We take a taxi to and ATM and make it back in time for a KFC breakfast. While munching this nutritional delight we met 2 guys from Edinburgh who were gettin the same bus as us. This should make for a more enjoyable bus ride - someone else to talk to!! Susan has been reading her book for about 5 weeks now yaaaawn.......next stop Vietnam.
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