Hi guys

I just got back from Kasama the capital of the Northern Province of Zambia. It was a day trip with Charlie the brother of Mark to go and pick up some supplies. It's a relatively big city of 300,000 and what a great place. So buzzy, lots of people out and about (i wonder if anyone actually works). Shops on all the roads painted every colour of the rainbow and African reggae/rap music pumping out. What's funny is they all have s*** stereos but they all push the stereos past the max so all the music is distorted so you just get some unrecognisable screech. Any way it adds to the ambience.

First stop, Shoprite (Morrisons/Safeway), the poor man's superstore. Big, full and crazy. Once the Mazungu (white man, derogatory but i like it) comes in.....cachiiiing, here comes the money. I had 4 full trolleys (a small shop) with 3 people helping me from Shoprite (it turns out i should have tipped them even though they workedfor the company) So 3,500,000 kwacha later £280 and 30 shopping bags, off we go and then i get absolutely mobbed outside. I think, s*** they saw my you tube dance off of at Lincoln discotheque but no they just want to help..............then take or steal your money. I made the mistake of flashing a 3 inch wad of notes; i think the word got around. You just get to the point you have to say f*** off. Not nice when they are 5 years old. Apparently if you go to Ethiopia the problem is every age, imagine telling an 80 year old where to go (average life expectancy is 32 so that's not going to happen)

I could not understand why a group of 8 woman selling tomatoes behind me were giggling so much at me. First i thought it was because i was white but that's no big deal here, then i thought they fancied me because i can be an arrogant t*** sometimes then i realised that i had a rip in the arse of my shorts from the belt all the way to my bottom of my thigh. Now those of you who know me know i go commando............................for some reason not this day (thank god). So my first reaction was.........bend over, grab my bumb and wiggle my toosh. They loved it. Let's be honest with an ass as big as mine there was no way of hiding it.

I had an amazing journey back with Charlie. Mark and Charlies family have such and incredible history and pedigree, i will go into it another time. Charlie runs Shiwa House (see photos of manor house that looks like its in Surrey). He offers a hunting Safari that is something i did not think existed anymore but is actually very popular. He had the owner of Moet Hennesey a few weeks ago. Its massive money £30,000-£100000 depending on what you shoot. They are all quotered kills that are part of a national cull program to keep things in balance. Charlie breeds his own animals on his estate just for hunting. He takes guys out for 2-5 days to stalk an animal. Animals in the prime are never killed but older animals that have no use are targeted as they will be killed or die soon anyway. The hunter gets the thrill of the stalk and the animal population is kept in check and the breeding animals are left alone. The stories sounded amazing until you heard of the Americans who come in with guns that can shoot down aeroplanes from a mile away and just want to get their gun off or see blood. When you hear the process of hunting done in the traditional way it makes sense (if you like to kill things.............not for me) but when you have a guy that takes 6 shots to kill an animal because he cant shoot straight and does not take instruction by the guide ......well, turn the gun on him i say. Mark and Charlie grew up hunting; i think one of them shot their first buffalo at 6 or some silly age. But the rule was you always ate what you killed, you never killed for the sake of getting your gun off. Well Mark shot a crow once and of course his dad got the crow and made him eat it and that was the last time he made that mistake. I will have to go into detail about how this all works out here as its fascinating.

OK, time to sign off, these blogs take too long as my spelling and grammer is shocking so i have to read it 3 times.

Lots of love as always Mxxx

Can you all open the photos i attach, i have heard you can only see them as a thumbnail