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Hi all

Well round 2 on this blog shenanigan. I can't believe i have always chastised anyone who uses blogs or twitters but it looks like the best way of communicating for me. What i don't know is how i had over 80 people read my blog. I am not that popular..................well i am with my new friends 'The Mosquito's'. The blood sucking b******s love eau d'Marcus, i have an attractive line of red dots around my ankles to add to the lovely red ant bites. These are the most vicious f***ers (excuse my French) these little monsters hurt and attack. Here is was walking down to the spring for a swim when 'oh my god....red ants', i had heard about them from Mark. As i can recollect i think these are the ones that ate several of Marks chickens, ALIVE!!. So Marcus the elbow Etty being the dimwit he is gets closer for a better look and Mr Ant goes mmmmmmmm eau d'Marcus, my favourite and calls a couple of his homies to come get some chow. Have you ever heard a 6'3 man mountain scream like a gay going to a Celine Dion concert. You don't want to, i promise.

Its been a very different couple of weeks to the ones i last described on my last blog. The rose tinted spectacles start to come off as reality sets in. It's the norm i suppose but you all know what i am like, i will get excited aboutmouldy cheese (that's stilton not the other......i know what your laughing at Steve and Rob...........and Tom thinking about it). I have a monumental job to do at this end. Kapishya has many years of successful business but no years of tight operation so there is so much to sort out. Let's be honest i am the organiser, administrator, accountant, computer programmer, waiter, barman, trainer, manager and anything you can think of. It's great to be busy and challenged but it's such a complex business i am in. Mark has being doing this for 20 years and every day is still like the first..........hard work.

What's fascinating are the locals. I have to say i get on with everyone really well. Zambians have this honest openness, generosity and friendliness that are very captivating. Everyone i speak to who stays here says that Zambians are the friendliest of all the African Nations. It's odd as Zambia is a colonial country until not that long ago but there seems to be no animosity to whites like you might get in Zimbabwe or the arrogance of the Tanzanians. Fantastic you might say but when you start talking about work, think Mongolian, straight off the boat to work in the UK. Those caterers out there no what i am talking about. It's not at all racial it's just the culture..........no common sense, no free thinking and absolutely no desire to work hard. It's called the hose pipe culture. All the team if you give them a hose pipe and say water the garden they will all very happily stand for 14 hours with a hose pipe in their hand........it means NO HARD WORK. We have lost 2 senior guys since my arrival because they have never been pushed. They loved me for the first few days as they got off on the training, learning something new but when it dawned on them that training meant hard work and i would have daily lists of jobs that needed doing. Well asta la vista baby they were off like a buffalo with a chilli up its ass. Prime example is the head gardener Elius. He has been here for something like 20 years. You would say he knows his job backwards. NO!.He was asked to cut down some tree branches to allow better light to the tomatoes growing underneath. So off he goes up the tree and starts hacking at this 200kg branch directly over the tomatoes. Guess what he did next....yep cut the branch off and let it fall on the tomatoes killing them all. When asked what the hell he was thinking, would he do something so stupid in his own garden, the answer was a confident no, of course not. That's the problem, not just common sense but no sense of ownership with their job so property has no value to staff if its not theirs. It makes for incredibly challenging management. I just try and leave the head popping off, steam out of every oraphis b******ing to the owners. I had enough of that in the UK. I am here to find my Zen, Tai Chi, Yinyan Yoko Ono. So no raised voices for me, well i try not to.

In contradiction to the country side, Zambia in the cities has a brain drain problem. Zambia seems to breed some of the most intelligent human beings, in abundance actually but nearly all leave the country to find fortune in more prosperous lands (by the way, being fat is a sign of prosperity and wealth so i fir in perfectly). The capital Lusaka is an incredibly cosmopolitan city with 2 million people. Italians, Greek, Chinese, British, i met them all in my first day a bussing city that has a great energy.I look forward to going back soon. I met a fascinating lady called Mwaba. Highly educated, leaving Zambia in her youth to school with her brother Edward in the UK then getting into Finance and banking. Making £200k plus a year she decides that she wants to make a difference and have a voice which could never happen in the UK and bravely moves back to Zambia. She now runs her own business trying to put back into the country better infrastructure and training. You can be a great success here if you can get passed the colossal corruption that is pandemic.

Well no stories of stand off's with Elephants and lions teasing my larium dreams (they are getting worse by the way.......dont take it. Mind you the only alternative was a drug that gives you a rash in the sun........in Africa, for god's sake).

I will be off to Kasama tomorrow the capital of the Northern Province and then Lusaka in the next few weeks so i will have more stories and photos for you soon. Then BUFFALO CAMP...i can't wait, that's where you are in the real deal . Don't forget, mates rates for anyone who wants to come over. Knowing all you lot Mark and Mell could give it to you for free the amount you all drink. Having a pissed up standoff with a Hippo would be hilarious, the question is who's up for it?

Love you loads as always. xxx

It gets lonely out hear so don't forget to email.