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Hello hello! I've been granted a spare half an hour by the continuing incompetence of my nemesis (involving nothing less than destroying the running water into my house. Which given that I'm on antibiotics and need to keep rehydrated is increasingly beginning to grate. I think my threat to walk out the door and let the idiots here starve themselves through incompetence finally hit home with my boss and she demanded said nemesis come in to sort out the water at 8am. But as it's now 8.15 and his parting comment last night was how much I enjoy trouble in the office [office? Office? The little s*** clearly fails to realise this is my home. And given his tendency to smirk whenever something goes wrong - which it invariably does, just ask Ells & Sarah as recent survivors (and only just at that) of this godforsaken country - I rather think it's him that enjoys and cultivates trouble] I think I might have a few moments spare to write this entry. And given as the government website for my project has crashed - again! - there little work I can effectively do).
But anyway, moaning over because I wanted to write something very random. Have you ever heard the phrase 'the sweet smell of rain'? Well, our little island has had enough rain and I've been in a fair few monsoons and rainforests over the years but this morning is the only time I've ever noticed that there is a particular smell of rain in the air that smells like sugar. Really like sugar. It's crazy - possibly it has something to do with this being the first rain this year here, coming when the temperatures were climbing towards the high-thirties, but as I was hanging out my washing (like a fooligan!) under the bright pink blossoms that cover the front of my flat and trying to beat away the inquisitive cow that was trying to eat aforementioned washing (I've still not got the hang of cow-scaring here!) I noticed the air actually smelled (smelt? aargh! What happened to my english) of sugar just as it start to drip. Very clichéd and lovely. Added to the fact that I saw a hummingbird nibbling on the pink blossoms yesterday (and a bright blue kingfisher playing in a swimming pool in central delhi two days before) I've decided there are some quite nice things about this godforsaken country.
Which led me to an immensely generalised and pointless theory: 'Outside' India I like, 'Inside' India I certainly do not. By 'outside India' I mean the countryside (countryside! Such an English word! - but it's better than 'the rural' I guess), the rural idyll of Maharashtra, the green and fragrant hills, the villages where, although life is very very hard and though I'm under no illusions as to some of the horrific things rural India involves, I've met some incredible people and witnessed some inspiring things. Outside India includes the rural development projects (failed or working, there simply isn't - or at least I haven't witnessed - the same degree of cynicism and corruption out in the villages as in the government offices). Ells and Lily understand the feeling of being in the village, even if it was only one brief and harried trip. Inside India on the other hand I associate with government offices where corrupt deals are struck with no thought to those affected by them, with conferences where politicians bask in their own power and deny the role or rights of agricultural labourers, with stuffy rooms where oppressive cultural beliefs - in caste, in the essential evilness of women and their need to be locked away - are maintained, and finally with incompetence, such as the charming ability of my nemesis to cheat, steal and generally f*** everything up.
Gosh, never realised I could be such a romantic as well as such an idealist (and idealism alone one thing it's taken India to show me, despite Jack's teasing).
Although on an associated note, one of the most interesting things about having Sarah and Ells out here (beyond actually seeing some sane and lovely people, of course, and all the throwing up) was the conversation we had with my boss, Usha. It's a conversation that I've been trying to have for a while, but anyone that's met her will understand why 3:1 are better odds at getting a word in edgeways. So. There's a fundamental misunderstanding about Western and English culture. Just as we tend not to understand just how important ritual, religion and 'culture' is here, they've totally lost the point of how important ideals (and ideas) are to us. So, thinking we have no culture they assume that we're lost with no moral reference points to guide us. Far from it - the western world has just as (if not more) powerful guiding principles: ideas that sound 'idealistic' (as Usha wanted to dismiss them as) but are nonetheless fundamental when challenged: ideas of freedom, justice, equality, blah blah blah. Or in more prosaic terms, we don't expect people to cheat us at every turn, we expect to do what we want (within limits) without censorship, there's a general belief in the welfare state. While people would debate the terms of equality (that some are more equal than others), very few would contest that such an idea exists / is valid. Maybe it's because we've had the luxury of a relatively safe and secure recent history, maybe I could get excited about the Enlightenment and the French Revolution, maybe it's the Christian society (secular as you may be, you can't help be influenced by Christianity in the west), maybe it is in our genetic makeup as my Indian friends are so determined to convince me: but time and time again I've met people here for whom the idea of equality not only has no relevance but does not exist. Raargh. I'm not explaining this very well, but it was fascinating when pushed up to it all three of us (Ells, Sarah & I) without hesitation said these things are what we would defend: not our 'culture', our habits, our cuisine (as for Usha), but our principles, our beliefs and our ideas. That we said we would fight and even die for this serves more to illustrate their importance more than any actual belief in violent means. (all this was in answer to Usha's claim that British society will be undermined by 'alien' (for her, not for us) elements - Hindu, Muslim and so on - from within, while we professed that what was more terrifying as liberals was the dangers of sacrificing said principles in fear of what could happen).
Musing over my dears! Much love, jess xx
Ps. nemesis wandered in an hour late, as expected. Still I've got him up to the knees and armpits in the blocked drains (which he conveniently neglected to clean whilst I was away), so in some ways it's all good.
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