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'the eve of 26th march by jenny the brave'
I was happily boiling some water on the hob, emma came home and was unpacking her shopping, putting things in the cupboard when she let out the most piercing, loud scream I may have ever heard! Thinking there was a severed head in the cupboard I screamed and followed sharply on emmas heels running out the kitchen! Then I got a hold of myself and decided to ask emma what she was screaming at as the blood I had imagined dripping out the cupboard was nowhere to be seen. Emma was still screaming and I had to shake her by the shoulders to snap her out of it and shout in her face what the bloody hell was she screaming at!! By this point the water was boiling over, and panic took over most occupants of unit 9, 114 spit road. I finally got the information I wanted from the victim – there was a monster cockroach in the cupboard. I took a deep breath and bravely entered the kitchen. Tension was thick in the air, as was the steam from the boiling water! I approached the cupboard with slight fear and trepidation...and I pulled the door open! Nothing, but cereal boxes and my sacred pickle to be seen. One by one, I pulled open all connecting cupboard doors, but still the monster was not there. Gently, fearing the cockroach was hiding behind the tins and boxes, I took out each item. The food was piling up on the side. The cupboard got emptier and emptier, until, at last, it was empty! I searched high, and I searched low, all the while my right hand clasping the cockroach spray. The monster cockroach it seemed, had vanished!! Somewhat nervously, we all went back to our business, me, cooking my pasta, alice, one eye on the tv, one eye nervously watching the kitchen, and emma, still a nervous wreck from her ordeal collapsed on the sofa. Things were going well, my dinner was cooked and I was sitting enjoying the delight of ricotta and spinach ravioli with tomato, onion and garlic sauce and all were engrossed in bondi rescue, when suddenly (big gasp) alice let out a yelp of fear. I followed the fear in her eyes to the kitchen wall, there it was... The monster cockroach. (now in slow motion) I dropped my dish, jumped out my seat yelling "get ouuut thhheee waaaayyy!" I took a long jump over the coffee table into the kitchen, grabbed the spray, yelling out orders as I went "get me a chaaaiiirrrrr!" The chair arrived and I leaped straight on, all the while keeping one eye on the monster as it scrabbled around the wall above the cupboards. I aimed...and sprayed!!! And sprayed, till there was not one drop left in the can. I sprayed to the left, I sprayed to the right, it ran fearing for its life (and rightly so) behind a badly placed pot on top of the cupboard. The spray stopped and silence followed. "where is it?" the others whispered. "behind the pot" I whispered back. Slowly, I got up on the sink to peer over the top and behind the pot. It wasn't there!! Disappointed I didn't have a body to show for my manic killing, I sprayed one last pitiful spray in the only place I could see it may have gone. Wearily I stood down. I was a hero, 'jenny the brave' they called me. I couldn't join in the celebratory tv watching, for I knew, that cockroach was still out there, probably dying a slow and painful death, but still, it was out there...somewhere.....
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