We moved on from Westport to the infamous Poo Pub at Lake Mahinapua. Anticipation for the fancy dress night was rising and the bus was pretty ready to have a great night out after a quiet couple of days. On the way to our hostel - owned by the oldest publican in New Zealand - an 83 year old by the name of Les - we stopped off for a walk 'round Cape Foulwind Seal Colony and got our first glimpses of some seals in NZ (I now know that leaving Kaikoura you get to see a hell of a lot more of them, and crucially, the pups!). Next up were the Pancake rocks - which are pretty self explanatory, but mostly, Josh, Shil & I were walking along chatting and just enjoying the sunshine and thinking up fancy dress ideas.
The fancy dress theme was anything beginning with P... and we were lacking inspiration until crunch time... when we got as far as the suggested fancy dress store and realised what we had to work with. Spotting a pink bob wig, a thong and some tights I soon knew I would be dressing up as a girl. The key to my logic is that if you're dressed up as the opposite sex, even if you look like an idiot (inevitable), then you can't be accused of not making an effort. It would have been a much better excuse if the idea had just come to me listening to Roxanne on my iPod! The salvation army charity shop then provided me with a lovely purple dress (I was later informed that it was a neglige) and I was ready. Prostitute it is then.
Shil & Josh joined me in the idiocy, continuing on a seedy theme: Shil was to be a pimp for the evening complete with Afro wig and a beautiful shirt which could have been plucked from an 80s music video. Josh, rather too keenly, settled on being a paedophile complete with binoculars, glasses, shorts and an all too impressive creepy grin. How we love making first impressions on people... Matt, the new wolf in our pack, went for something of much better taste arming himself with a long blonde wig, a beach bag and some balloons. Hello Pamela Anderson.
Once we got to the Poo pub we went for a stroll and a kickabout by Lake Mahinapua which was honestly one of the most stunning views I think I've ever seen. However this is NZ and now that I've been to Millford Sounds, Queenstown and Wanaka many of the views I've seen there were probably better. This was about the first time we got used to what Matt's job description actually entails. He is the World Traveller Intern for STA - which means he went through a 3 and half month interview process in order to travel the world and document through photos, videos and a blog. It's been running for many years in the US now but he is the first intern from the UK (along with his coworker who headed home after Oztralia because she was missing her boyfriend (how insane can you be!). So the long and the short of it, is that we've been filming Matt doing and saying things for 2 weeks now and we're also quite likely to be pasted all over his site... www.worldtravellerintern.co.uk
It is definitely the best job in the world and we all hate Matt for it, but he's a quality guy so we only tell him how much we hate him once or twice a day.
Grub was then up, and Les had cooked us up a treat with a huge hunk of steak accompanied with just about all you could wish for. It was a great feed. Already on the wine, we then accelerated proceedings in the room, as I begun to realise that I would probably get into the hooker spirit while totally sober! With all my kit on, and some make up, I looked hideous, one of the scariest things I've ever seen. Just wait for the photos and you can be the judge. Most others had pulled out all the stops too, but our room in particular - Pamela, Pimp, Prossie & Paedo was a pretty ridiculous one. Once at the bar it was not long until the cameras were flashing and we were dancing around. From there things begin to get hazy and I've had the rest of the vening's events played out to me many times since. At some point I went missing and the girls were worried that I'd wondered into the darkness and would never be seen again. Instead, I had wondered to the girls bathroom, sat on top of the toilet and chundered everywah. Yipes.
When they woke me up, in true Burgess fashion I went straight back into the bar and started dancing again (I think my favourite slouched-over hand dancing was whipped out again) until they chucked me out once they had seen my decoration in the bathroom! Oh dear.
Another night. Another ridiculous outcome.
Only in NZ (/Malta!)
Dan / Burge