So, don't you ever get tired of those days when you have to always put your shoes on to walk around your house or your feet will turn black from all the dirt? And when you have to constantly fill your 500 ml water bottle with bottled drinking water from the big jug in the kitchen so that you can brush your teeth without getting sick? And don't you ever get tired of seeing men urinate on their homes outside of your window? And what about all of the ants crawling into your cereal box and all over your refrigerator, sink, and stove? And what about those times that you'd really like to throw a casserole or lasagne in the oven for supper but can't because you don't have an oven. Or you want to reheat leftovers in the microwave, but have to throw them in a pan on the stove instead because you don't have a microwave. Or those times you just really want raspberry vinaigrette dressing but can't have it because there is only one type of dressing that, if you are lucky, you can find at 3 places in town? Or you want to have some pancakes, but you have to travel 2 and a half hours by bus to buy syrup? Don't you ever wish that you could find a comfortable place to relax? Or that the one semi-comfortable spot that you did have in your home wasn't infested with cat fur, dander, and all of the dirt from the cats' paws? Or you want to leave the door to your bedroom open for a few minutes, but can't because the very badly behaved cats will crawl on all of your clothing and knock it onto the very dusty floor? Or maybe you just want to indulge for one moment and eat a box of milkduds. And what about all of those times, day after day, you are just wishing that you could have a conversation in a language that you actually speak! And of course, what if you don't actually make a difference after all your efforts?

Well I am having one of those days. This glamorous life of a volunteer in the surf town of northern Peru also has its challenges! In the culture shock cycle, I think that this is about the time that I should be feeling this way, so I think I am normal (well, at least this isn't proof that I am not!) and will come through it ok. We are planning at trip to Ecuador and will be there 10 days for some rest and relaxations (and to renew our passports). This comes at a really good time as we are needing a bit of a break from the planning and the planning and the planning and some more planning! We will be visiting Vilcabamba, Cuenca and Banos. We are psyched! ;) I hope we will return refreshed and rejuvenated. I know this feeling is temporary and I have a million things to be thankful for. ;)

On the up-side of things, there are lots of great things in the works and we are still enjoying our teaching. Now that we got the volunteer house all organized and decorated just the way we like it, we are going to be moving out of the volunteer house and into a house that another volunteer from another organization is currently renting. It is a house set on the hillside at our favorite beach, Las Pocitas, where we spend every Sunday. It will be available in January and has a beautiful patio with a table and a hammock and from here you can see the ocean (although a hotel obscures the view) and the beach is only a hundred metres away. It also has 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms and is a perfect alternative to a hotel for those of you who are coming to visit us here! It's available at nearly the same price we are paying to live a the volunteer house, so it is looking like a really great opportunity to have our own space and privacy, and get a bit more away from all of the dust and noise of the pueblo.

Another exciting thing is that we've had 4 social engagements in the past month! We are really getting to know a wonderful family here: Benjamin, who teaches computing at the local school and is the coordinator between our NGO and the school we work with, his wife Rita, who is a teacher, and their two beautiful daughters, Alexandra (10) and Jackie (8). We really love spending time with them and we recently spent a day at the mud baths, which are natural hot springs, in town and having a little picnic at the site. It was fun playing in the water with the girls...they were wanting to learn to float, which we worked on really hard, but they are too skinny I think so they kept sinking! We also invited them to our volunteer house one Saturday night for supper and the dice game, and Shelly made a Peruvian dish called "chicharrones", which is deep fried fish and shrimp (or whatever else you may want to coat and fry). It was really delicious and the girls said "Wow! These gringas really know how to cook!" It was very cute and one of our favorite nights here.

We've also had a couple of social engagements with our friends Elizabet and Marita. They are sisters who are both in our English class. They invited us to their mom's birthday party, which was really fun. Lots of dancing, music, and good food. It was neat to see how people live and feel included in the life of the community. Since then, we also attended the baptism and baptism celebration of Elizabet's daughter, Nagayit. It was another very fun evening and it was interesting to attend a Catholic service here. Most people are Catholic here and they have celebrations of different saints just about every second week I think! We also attended the "Dia de los muertos" celebration with them on November 1. It's quite an amazing event. This day exists to honour and visit the dead, so everyone buys flowers for the graves of their loved ones who have passed on and brings them to the cemetery. In the evening, they have a huge party at the cemetery with food and drinking and dancing, and everyone lights candles and spends time talking with their dead loved ones. I said a prayer for Joyce at the monument that honors the dead who are not in that cemetery. Seeming somewhat in conflict with this celebration, but somehow oddly appropriate at the same time, they have a circus and fair set up across from the cemetery with rides and games and actually a real circus of sorts. We went to the circus and there was a kind of trapeze guy, a contortionist, a belly dancer, an erotic dancer (what every kid should see at a circus!), a magician who actually had some cool tricks! and the token clowns. It was definitely an evening out of the ordinary to remember!

Other than that, we have had our regular "Sundays at Pocitas" and have really enjoyed our quiet time together. We have found a new beach front spot exactly across from the house we will be renting beginning in January. It is called "Casa de Playa" and is owned by a big fan of volunteers and a big supporter of the Centre for Special Needs Children in town. She invited us to spend as much time as we want by their pool or beach front, so we have enjoyed a few days there to refresh and rejuvenate. We also had a weekend getaway at a hotel in town our friend manages, so don't feel too badly for my moments of annoyance with the things I don't have! We truly have an incredible amount to be thankful for and I want to continue to focus on the blessing that Shelly is to me and the gift of this year away together.

I miss you all and truly hope that life is giving you all the goodness and happiness you deserve. I think of you often and can't wait for the great times we'll have when we see you again! Sorry that winter is approaching there....hope it is a mild one! Now, here's my wife...

Love,

Stacy

Hola from Mancora after a long time of not hearing from us. I hope that life is treating you all well and that your troubles are few. Things have been good and steady here. Learning lots of lessons about myself, that can be a hard thing to learn and understand sometimes.

The first two months here I felt like I was working hard at the relationships with others in the house especially. Things have been more difficult lately. I personally have struggled with Gabby our volunteer coordinator. I have made several attempts to talk things out between us, but it just doesn´t seem to help. I really feel that she is threatened by us because we don´t need her as much as the other younger volunteers do. So it has been a struggle to live here this past month. My relationships with others in the house and classes are good, but this one has taken a lot of my energy and time. It has been a hard place for me to come to and feel like I am not liked. Not that I think everyone should like me, but I just thought the experience would be different in the house than it has been.

So with much discussion, we have decided to move out of the house and rent a great beach house in January. That descion has lifted a weight off of me. It has been hard to accept that I have failed at that relationship with Gabby, but I also realize that I need to cut my losses and make the best of the time I have here.

The English classes are going great! We are into our second level with our first group. They are hardworking and faithfully come to every lesson. The planning has gotten better and we are more effiecient at it. The students are really working at the oral part and we love planning the games to get them to practise in class. We usually go out once a week for beers afterwards to practise and tell jokes. Some things are funny in any language.

We have ditched the school classes which were really a waste of time. We only met with the kids once a week for 45 minutes and we were teaching them things that others had been teaching for the last year, and they still were not getting it. They just need more time and more practice. So we polled the students and got the ones that were really interested and made them sign contracts to come 3 times a week for an tour. We initially had 85 students interested, but those who brought back contracts were about 30 and those who come faithfully are about 15. It is a great group and we meet after school at 3-4pm. It has been fun with them and they are actually remembering things from day to day. So we may continue this program in the summer, which is January to March.

The town administrator, John, is wanting us to start up an English institute. We are working out the details and what is needed to make it sustainable after we are gone. There really is a need for English here as that is a ticket to so many things for them. Funny, I really didn´t want to teach English when I first got here but now I really love it as it feels like I am living them something that they need.

This past month also ended the pilot program of Robin Hood. We had a closing program and all of the parents came and the students got to show off their hard work and what they had learned about themselves. They were so proud and dressed up and hair slicked back. They got to take all that they had made and take it home, maybe somethings we taught them will stay with them for the rest of their lives. We really enjoyed working with the kids. Planning the games and lessons and learning abut their needs was challenging but fun. We are starting to prepare for the real program that will start sometime in March with 60-80 kids. I think the program is a good one. Kids need so much more than they are getting in school and at home. There are so many that are abused and mistreated and just need that extra bit of care and attention. Along the way we hope to also teach them some skills to overcome issues and live a fuller life. I will miss seeing them until March. We run into some of them on the streets and they are so excited to see us, we likewise.

So after three months I still feel like I am just as selfish as when I left. I find it hard to make sacrificas and do things for others. What does it take I wonder to put others first. I seem to only give when it is convenient for me. Is that true giving? How can I buy myself something that I don´t really need when I know others here in town are going hungry and are hurting? I want to learn what that means to truly give and help others. I want to be here for others and not myself, but I don´t think that I have arrived there yet. Hopefully the next months will bring me closer to my desires and change me in more ways.

Before we left we wondered how we would be here as a couple. Would we be open, was that what we came here for? We struggled with if we would tell others outside of the house that we were married. After much thought we felt that yes that is how change happens, to show others that we are okay and that other gay people are also okay.
So we started to become close to a few people here and contemplated telling them. Rita and Benjamín are great friends of ours and their two girls as well. We had them over for supper awhile back and told them we were married. We didn´t know what their reaction would be as they are very Catholic. They totally were great and we talked in length about it and it was great to be accepted here as well. We also kept getting questions from our English students after class at the bar. Asking about our boyfriends etc. One night a couple of weeks ago the questions were just too much and I just stopped the conversations and said, look Stacy is my spouse. Well everyone held up their glasses and cheered and drank to us. All expect one guy, John. He sat there with his month open for awhile and then finally apologized for his surprise and said "as long as you are happy". I told him I was and would love Stacy all the days of my life. So we came out in Peru and were not put in jail or stoned. We are blessed to have great people in our lives even here who accept us for us. Just like you all back home…..thanks for loving us for us.

So along with the beach house move, we will also have a little longer walk to work. We are thinking we might buy a moto or a motorcyle to make the drive into town a little easier and it would also be great fun. In preparation we took some moto driving lessons from Armondao who has his own moto to get around in. It was so fun. We started in the country as to avoid hitting anything of great importance. Soon we were off down the Pan American highway. Staying to the shoulders of course. On the way back home he says that I am good enough to drive downtown. It is not a regular downtown. One lane becomes several and people jockey around things whenever they want. I make it down to the other end with no problems, tooting the horn at all the people who were shocked to see a gringo driving a moto. We picked up our laundry at the other end and then it was time to head back. Wouldn´t you know it, just as I was about to start the moto again, there were police on the side of the road. I was so nervous I kept stalling as Armando kept laughing and Stacy kept telling me I could do it. Finallly after waving several worried looking pedestrians to cross before I started out, I got the moto going and safely home. It was so fun and now we are on the look out for a used one. We could even make a few bucks giving brave passengers a ride.

Anyways enough of this long blog. I hope you are enjoying the approach of winter as we settle into the heat of summer. We will think of you as we enjoy the waves and sun and sand. The only thing that could make it better is if you we here with us.

We miss you and your stories and laughs and smiles. We look through our pictures on our computer often when we are a little homesick. So drop us a line and tell us how you are, we are really interested.

Take care until next time.

Shelly